(In his office, my dad has a picture my sister and I took at a professional photography studio. I’m about fifteen in the photo and my sister is about seventeen. One day this happens to my dad when his coworker walks into his office to ask something.)

Coworker: *looking at the picture* “Hey, those your women?”

Dad: “Those are my daughters…”

(Later my dad tells me this story.)

Me: “I don’t know what’s worse; that he thought you were dating two teenagers while married or that he thought your two mistresses would go do a photoshoot together!”

Me: *picks up phone* “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Salesperson: “Hello, I’m calling from [Power Company]. May I speak to your administration manager?”

Me: “What is it regarding?”

Salesperson: “I’d like to talk to you about using [Power Company] as your electricity provider. If you switch to us, you can save a lot of money every month. We offer very competitive rates.”

Me: “Yes, when I was in my previous company, I did that. However, are you aware that my office is just one of many in the building? Must the entire building switch over to [Power Company] to enjoy these rates?”

Salesperson: “Uh, well, you would need to change out the meter… But it also saves you a lot of money!”

Me: “From what I understand, you provide power to the entire building, not individual units. So you might need the approval of all the tenants here to do the switch. I’m asking again, do you need the entire building to switch over to [Power Company] to enjoy these rates?”

Salesperson: “Well, I can get our specialist to call you to talk about it.”

Me: “No, I don’t want to waste my time talking to your specialist if we cannot switch without the approval of all the tenants in this building. YOU go and find out and if you can provide this switch for just my unit in this building, feel free to call back. If not, don’t bother calling here again.”

Salesperson: *click*

(Honestly, I get it that she’s trying to do her job. But whoever asked her to make cold calls like this without her knowing at least some technical details ought to be shot.)

(A coworker and I are chatting at my desk for a moment. We are both female, and my male boss walks by and overhears part of our conversation.)

Me: “You need to hold it really firmly, and that grosses me out because it’s so squishy.”

Coworker: “But it tastes so yummy.”

(I notice my boss giving us a strange look.)

Me: “We’re talking about grating cheese. The feeling weirds me out.”

(I’m a female administrative assistant in an open plan office, for a big company. Coworker #1, who is female, is a very high-up manager, and is waiting to go into a meeting while she chats to Coworker #2, also female, and a mid-level manager. Both are in their 30s, and very fashionable looking.)

Coworker #1: “I’ve got a [Project] meeting with the board of directors. I hate these things. It’s such a sausage party! Have we ever had a female director yet?”

Coworker #2: “Probably not. It’s such a boys’ club. Letting a woman in would shake up their way of thinking too much.”

Coworker #1: “If we all worked together, I bet we could pressure them into making the board a little more diverse. Girl power, and all that! Maybe I could be on the board. I’m already working on [Important Project].”

Coworker #2: “Hmm… I forgot, isn’t [Coworker #3] kind of on the board?”

(Note: Coworker #3 is another high-level manager, filling in temporarily on the board because of an ongoing vacancy. She’s in her 50s-60s, a large woman, and a frumpy dresser.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #3]? Ha, she barely counts as female, does she?!”

Coworker #2: “That’s true. Have you seen her?! She’s probably more of a man than the rest of the board combined.”

(They started laughing about it and made other nasty comments about her appearance. Yeah, nice to see that ‘girl power’ at work, ladies. Several months later, Coworker #3 officially became a board member. Too bad I didn’t get to see those two jerks’ reaction to the news.)

(I’m in charge of my coworker’s files. One of the folders is very used and torn. It’s New Year’s Eve and everyone is a bit bored, tired and/or eager to go back home, so I try to be funny. I hold the used folder and I stare at it.)

Me: “You brave soldier! You’ve been working with us for 30 years and it was not easy. You did well, so now you really deserve to rest. R.I.P. dear friend.”

(I kiss the used folder and I drop it into the paper basket. Then I choose a new folder.)

Me: “I’m not going to lie to you, rookie! You’ve been chosen among all and you’re going to go through really, really rough times. Be strong, never give up, and we’ll be very proud of you!”

Coworker: “Yeah, good luck, folder!”