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Email Fail, Part 37

, , , , , , | Working | June 15, 2022

I own my own website, so I can make up email addresses and they all come to me; i.e. [My Name]@[website], unicorn@[website], walmart@[website], etc. I do this so that when someone sells my email address, I know exactly who to block or who to give priority to.

It’s time for taxes, and I call my very nice tax person who I have been using for over fifteen years to get them to send me the secure file location so I can upload all of my personal and small business information. A brand new receptionist answers the phone. 

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], and I need you to send me the normal email so I can upload everything. “

Receptionist: “Oh, okay. What is your email?”

Me: “Tax@[website].”

Receptionist: “Pat?”

Me: “Tax.”

Receptionist: “Fax?”

Me: “T like ‘Tom,’ A like ‘Apple’…”

Receptionist: “TomApple@[Web—]”

Me: “No, tax, like you guys do taxes.”

Receptionist: “This doesn’t make any sense. Let me transfer you to IT.”

Me: “…”

IT: “Hello, this is IT. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need the email so I can upload my tax documents?”

IT: “Why did [Receptionist] send you to me?”

Me: “She didn’t understand my email?”

IT: “What is your email?”

Me: “Tax@[website].”

IT: “Cool. I will get that right over to you.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 36
Email Fail, Part 35
Email Fail, Part 34
Email Fail, Part 33
Email Fail, Part 32

Just Your Standard Bigoted Double-Standard

, , , , , , , , | Working | June 14, 2022

I’m a woman, and I work for a construction contractor. I’m in the office making photocopies when two male installer leads came in.

Male #1: “I almost flipped the f*** out.”

Male #2: “F****** [slur]-a** d**k-suckers.”

They stop talking for a second upon seeing me.

Male #1: “[My Name], if you saw two dudes making out at [Theme Park], what would you do?”

Me: “Keep walking.”

Male #1: “P****. I reported them to security for being perverts, and then security said they’re allowed!”

Male #2: “I would have punched the f*** out of them.”

Male #1: “[My Name], come on. Tell me you don’t think it’s f***ed up.”

Me: *With a heavily sarcastic tone* “Yeah, girls making out is awful. How can anyone allow that at [Theme Park]?”

Male #1: “No, two dudes, not two chicks.”

Me: Gay is gay, right? It’s all offensive.”

Male #2:No. Two girls can do whatever they want. It’s the [slur]s that need to stop being f****** gay in public.”

Me: “So, two girls are okay but not two guys?”

Male #2: “Maybe it gets you off to see two dudes going at it, but in a children’s theme park, absolutely not.”

Me: “But again, you would have been fine if they were girls?”

Male #1: “That’s different.”

Me: “Okay, clearly, there’s a double standard here and I’m not going to engage it. Do whatever you came in here to do and go back to work.”

Male #1: “Why? We aren’t even talking to you. Mind your f****** business.”

Me: “You just asked me a direct question, so yes, you are talking to me. So shut the f*** up or get out.”

They stood watching me go about my work for a few minutes before leaving.

I was later called into Human Resources for my “girls making out is awful” comment and threatened with termination. After I explained the whole conversation, I ended up with no reprimands, and the two men were ejected from the site.

Thank Goodness For That

, , , | Right | June 14, 2022

I received a query last Tuesday.

Client: “The person we hired to write the copy for our client just fell through. We need it by Friday. Can you do it?”

Me: “How many pages do you need?”

Client: “We don’t have that information from our client yet. I can send you the potential sitemap so you can get started, and I’ll let you know when the client signs off on it.”

I turned down the job. Friday, I got a frantic email.

Client: “The person who ended up doing our copy lifted it from other websites. Can you just write three pages for us this weekend so we can give them to the client on Monday?”

Me: “What are the pages?”

Client: “I’ll have to get back to you.”

I heard nothing until a phone call Sunday night.

Client: “We need you to meet with our client tomorrow morning to interview him and see what he wants on his pages. Give us a couple of times that work for you, and we’ll set up the appointment.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m busy tomorrow. I can’t help you.”

Client: “That’s unprofessional. We won’t be calling you again!”

From Name Games To Guessing Games

, , , , , | Working | June 13, 2022

My (large, multi-national) company uses a standard email format, as most do, so if you know the format, you can usually guess someone’s email address. I have a very common last name but was the first person with that last name and my first initial, so I got the standard setup. If my name is Jennifer Smith, I got smithj@[address].

A couple of years after I started, Jane Smith started. They set up her email as smith.jane@[address]. She’s in a different country and has a completely different role from me. I get a lot of emails addressed to her from people who are just guessing at her email address. Sometimes it’s stuff really for Jane, which I forward. Other times, it’s generic spam. This morning I found this in my inbox:

Emailer: “Good morning, Jane Smith! Are we reaching the right person in a company to market/sell your products or services?”

You Run Into Stupid Everywhere You Look

, , , , , | Working | June 13, 2022

One time, I was being interviewed by a young woman about a job.

Young Woman: “Where were you born?”

Me: “Tucumcari, New Mexico.”

Young Woman: “You’ll have to show your naturalization papers before you can apply for the job.”

Her supervisor and I had a good laugh after he made her look up New Mexico in the US atlas. I did not take the job because I had a very low tolerance for working with stupid people.

Another time, I had been working at a company for nine years. They had a policy of doing routine checkups of dependents to see if the lists needed to be changed. I submitted my list, which had not changed in five years. I got a call from the department saying that I had given the wrong first name for my wife.

Worker: “You gave the abbreviation of your first name, Charles, for your wife’s first name.”

Her name was translated from her native Korean to “Chae” in English. The name is listed that way on her citizenship papers. I finally had to talk to a supervisor to get her to accept my paperwork. By the way, Charles is abbreviated “Chas”.