My colleague and I were sitting around waiting for the last hour to pass in an extremely slow workday. When we get a ‘bing’ at the front desk, a happy-looking man waves at me as I peek out from my cubicle. A smiling employee can mean one of two things. 1. He is clueless about the problem he’s dealing with, and it will take hours. Or 2. The problem seems minor to him, and he feels silly for asking for help when, in reality, it’s a real problem.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the second one.

Me: “Hey, how can I help you today?”

Happy: “So, it’s pretty silly, but can you stop my PC honking at me?”

So, probably POST-beeps (Power-On Self-Test), I think to myself.

Me: *Imitates a POST-beep.* “Like that?”

Happy: “Yes! YES! Exactly like that, it happens when my PC starts, and my coworkers keep making fun of it. It’s getting annoying; maybe you can mute it?”

Me: “Yeah, let’s get that fixed for you. How long have you had this problem?”

Happy: “Oh, I don’t know, for a year maybe?”

Me: “A year!? The machine has beeped at you like this on every startup for a year!?”

Happy: “Yeah, it was funny at first. Now it’s annoying.”

I restart the computer, and it’s SUPER SLOW. These are modern machines, but the POST time is closer to three minutes. Eventually, it “honks” at me with an Intel management engine error. Not a problem, we can fix that.

Happy: “Yeah, it does that every time. It kept working, so I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

Okay, so this user didn’t mind the massive error screen he had at every boot. He also didn’t mind the fact that it took him three minutes every morning to get the computer up and running. Different strokes, I guess…

While I’m fixing the issue, I set him up with the latest drivers for the rest of the computer. I restart, and it posts in the normal thirteen seconds without the “honk”.

Happy: “Oh, you fixed it! Excellent! Man, that’s so nice, and it’s FAST! Thank you so, so much. Now I have to announce to my coworkers when I arrive by myself again.” *Chuckles.*

Me: “Yeah, no problem. Glad it worked well and have a good weekend!”

Happy: “You too! And thank you so much again!”

I love it when things work out so well, but I think I love happy and grateful coworkers more!

The honking PC was fixed, and my coworker could get back to work without announcing his presence wherever he goes. My slow Friday turned into a perfect start to my weekend. May your customers be as grateful, and your weekend relaxing!

I work in a law office. The previous office manager was the head lawyer’s long-term partner before he passed. While she was still at the office, she had started a wedding planning business at a local golf venue with her daughter and used the office phone as the main contact before stepping away to focus completely on the wedding business. Occasionally, the office will still get phone calls meant for her, but I give them the venue’s number, and all is good.

Except this guy.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Office]. How can I assist?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m Brian with [Restaurant Business]. Can I speak with Heather?”

Me: “Heather no longer works here. If it’s regarding [Venue], I can give you her phone number.”

Caller: “Can you forward me to her?”

Me: “She no longer works here, so no. I can give you the phone number, and you can call her.”

Caller: “Can you forward me to her?”

Me: “No. I can give you her phone number, and you can call her.”

Caller: “Why can’t you call her?”

Me: “Because I’m not doing your job for you. I’m not going to get your info and call her to tell her to call you. If you want to talk to her so bad, you can call her yourself.”

Caller: *Smugly.* “But she’s your coworker, so it is your job to call her.”

Me: “I already said she doesn’t work here anymore. I’m giving you a courtesy by even giving you the phone number. I will hang up right now and block this number so you will have to go and do extra work – which you seem allergic to – to try and find her number.”

Caller: “So you won’t forward me to her?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “…I’ll take that phone number.”

Me: “Sure, here you go.” *Gives number.*

Caller: *Sarcastically.* “I hope you have a great day.”

Me: “I hope you have the day you deserve.”

I am in charge of granting access to shared folders within our company. An employee I don’t know reached out.

Employee: “I need the schedule folder for [Team].”

Me: *After verifying that they are part of this team.* “Okay, I just added you to the access list. Give it a minute, and you should be in.”

Twenty minutes pass.

Employee: “I need access to the Purchase Order folder.”

Me: *Checking permissions again.* “Okay, you should have it shortly.”

Employee: “Why can I not access Billing? You said you let me in.”

Me: “You did not ask for access to Billing.”

Employee: “Yes! That is what I’ve been saying!”

For this level of clearance, I have to have the team lead verify. There is information in these files that not everyone should have, so I have to be sure before I grant it.

Me: “Hi, [Team Lead], I have [Employee] asking for access to the Billing files for [Team]. Is this okay?”

Team Lead: “No. Take him out of everything and do not reply to his requests.”

I removed all of his access immediately.

I looked out the window later to see him being escorted to his car by our security with a police officer on his arm.

I later learned that he lied on his application; he neglected to mention that he actively works for the budgeting department of the customer that the team handled. He was allegedly trying to gain access to information that the customer wanted in order to get a better price!

Every week, my team has a meeting. My manager moved the meeting minutes from the group notebook to his private notebook. He sends out a mass email stating that everyone should update their note section using his new, private notebook link. This is the chain of emails replying to his announcement.

Coworker #1: “Hi, [Manager], I don’t have access to this link.”

Manager: “It’s my private notebook.”

Coworker #2: “How do we update our notes if we don’t have access?”

Manager: “Please edit your section before the meeting, just like before.”

Me: “We cannot edit what we cannot access. We either need to be granted permission or the notes have to be in a public notebook.”

Manager: “We will be using my notebook going forward. Please update your sections accordingly. There will be no further discussion on this topic. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Well… no one had access, so we couldn’t update anything. The normally thirty to forty-five minute meeting took over an hour because [Manager] had to update everyone’s notes, and he uses the “hunt and peck” method of typing. At the end of the meeting, he is visibly frustrated.

Manager: “I have to say, I do not appreciate the lack of effort from the group today.”

Coworker #1: “We told you we don’t have access to this notebook.

Manager: “Because it’s my private notebook.”

Me: “[Manager], can you grant us access to this section of the notebook? Not the whole thing, just these notes.”

Manager: “If you know how to do it, go ahead!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll show you.”

He gestures to his computer with a dramatic flourish and watches over my shoulder as I access the notebook section permissions and add everyone in the meeting. Within minutes, we have all been granted access.

Me: “All done! Next week should be much easier.”

Manager: “If I find out that anyone has been in the other folders, you will all be up for review.”

The next week, everyone is able to update their notes, and the meeting is back on track. Though no one has access to the other sections of his notebook, (Manager) regularly reminds us to stay out of his private folders. I really want to know what he has in there.

This story reminded me of a sales pitch I heard when I was CADD (Computer Aided Drafting and Design) manager for an architectural office.

One exhibitor sold AutoCAD systems and also offered training. It is fairly easy to learn the basics of a CADD program, but the real benefit comes with learning what can be done with the more complicated features of the program.

Customer: “What if I pay for my employees to get the training and they leave?”

Salesman: “What if they don’t get the training, and they stay?”

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Short, Sweet Advice