Unfiltered Story #122222

, , | Unfiltered | September 30, 2018

(Our company is owned by a larger company. The customer placed her order for a medical product. Two weeks later, before her order shipped, she called back.)

Customer: I got an email from [Our Parent Company] with a UPS tracking number. My insurance company will only over [Our Company]! I want what I asked for!

Me: Ma’am, you ordered from [Our Company]. The email is an automated email from UPS and the shipping account is under [Parent Company]. We are in the same building, but separate businesses. You are receiving what you asked for.

Customer: No! My insurance company won’t cover [Parent Company]! I want [Our Company]! I have to order what they told me to order!

Me: Ma’am, to explain again, you did exactly what your insurance company asked. You ordered from [Our Company]. Sorry for the confusion.

Customer: No, no, it’s all just too confusing. Cancel my order.

Me: Are you sure? I promise it is from the correct company, your insurance will cover it in full.

Customer: CANCEL IT! I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE!

(I cancelled the order and thought nothing else of it. The day she would have received the order, she called back.)

Customer: Hi, I just want to confirm that my order will be delivered today. I got an email from another company trying to trap me into ordering from them, but I told them I wanted to use you.

Me: Ma’am, you spoke to me last week and you cancelled your order.

Customer: WHAT!? No, I didn’t! I cancelled an order from [Parent Company].

Me: No, ma’am. You called here and said that it was too confusing to understand that [Parent Company] was not shipping your order, and you asked to cancel the order.

Customer: NO! I called to cancel an order from them because my insurance will only cover [Our Company]. You must have cancelled both orders! This is your fault!

Me: Did you place an order with [Parent Company]?

Customer: No! Of course not!

Me: In that case, we could not have cancelled an order you did not place. YOU asked to cancel your order and WE cancelled the only order on file for you. WE did exactly what YOU asked. You must accept responsibility for not believing me when I tried to explain your situation. Now, if you would like the equipment tomorrow, it will be a $200 overnight shipping fee, as the box is very large.

(She ranted for fifteen minutes about how we mislead her by not telling her we are owned by another business. Because somehow that is her business. In the end she agreed to pay the shipping charge, but wanted a call from the owner to discuss her dissatisfaction. The owner refunded the shipping charge to avoid confrontation and we lost money on the order. I hate this job.)

This Is Obviously Not Your Field

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2018

(I work in IT. This has happened at my job more times than I can count.)

Supervisor: “I need you to add a new field to this screen. It’s a birthdate.”

Me: “Gotcha.”

(One hour later:)

Supervisor: “So, are you done?”

Me: “Not yet.”

Supervisor: “Why the heck not? What’s taking so long? It’s just one field! It’s a simple change!”

Me: “Yes, but first I have to find an appropriate spot for it on the screen. Then, I have to code it. Then, I have to put in edits, so that the users can’t enter something silly like February 31st, or a future date, since it’s a birthdate. Then, I have to ensure that the data entered is propagated to the database that’s keeping track of all the data on the screen. Then, I have to ensure that the birthdate is being sent properly to the other programs that use this screen for input.”

Supervisor: “…”

Me: “I haven’t even mentioned having to test it and document it. Shall I go on?”

Supervisor: “Just stop making excuses and get it done!” *leaves*

(I wouldn’t mind so much, but my supervisor used to be a programmer himself. He had evidently forgotten how much time a “simple change” takes.)


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They Want Him To Be Impossible Free

, , , | Right | September 28, 2018

(The company I work for has investment products that are not liquid just due to the nature of the investment. A lot of our clients are older and get upset when they’re told that they can’t withdraw their funds on short notice. There are some people we know well, investors that we can’t appease no matter what. On this day, the lady who calls in is one of our familiar characters, who seems to feel she deserves special treatment even when she’s horrible. So, it isn’t really a surprise when she says calls both me and my coworker — who talked to her a few minutes ago and was hung up on — rude and demands to speak to our manager.)

Customer: “I want your manager to call me back as soon as possible! It’s very important!”

Me: “I’ll have him call you as soon as he’s free, ma’am.”

Customer: “I said as soon as possible, not when he’s free!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is as soon as possible. He can’t call you if he’s not free to do so.”

(The customer hung up on me.)

They’ll Be Spitting Blood Soon

, , , , | Working | September 27, 2018

(It is a week after I join an office environment, and the majority of my coworkers are extremely friendly. However, there is one coworker who seems a bit off. I am eating my tuna salad while on break one day when the strange coworker slowly walks up to me, in absolute silence. He then SPITS in my food. I instinctively throw my sauce-covered salad at him, and it spills everywhere.)

Me: *shouting* “WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!”

Strange Coworker: “What the f*** did you do that for?! It was a joke, dumba**!”

(A manager and a coworker run in and see what happened. Before I can explain, the strange coworker speaks.)

Strange Coworker: “This dumb b**** threw her food at me! All I did was barely prank her!”

Manager: “Wait… What? What the h*** did you do for that response?”

Strange Coworker: “I spat in her food. I was going to buy her new food after, but she smacked me with a salad!”

Manager: “So, you did something disgusting to her own meal that she paid for, which she wouldn’t have known you would repay her, and even if you did repay her, that would waste her break. Did you never stop to consider if she was okay with this?!”

(He is now blushing and in silence. Eventually, another coworker speaks up:)

Coworker: “Actually, you did the same stuff to me when I was new! You would constantly waste my time, and whenever you had an angry caller, you would just pass them onto me with a lame excuse!”

Manager: “[Strange Coworker], I have received a lot of complaints about your lack of manners, and even discrimination. Now I have enough evidence to safely say, ‘You’re fired!’”

(The strange coworker started screaming profanities until he was removed by security. The manager extended my break and bought me some food. Luckily, the job was great after that, and he is still a joke we talk about to this day!)

Crumpling Is High On The Feel-Good Chart

, , , , | Working | September 27, 2018

(My boss has been trying to get the motivation to fix a company-wide organizational chart that even his own boss said is not a huge priority. After sitting on it for several days, my boss brings the chart back to me.)

Boss: “I’m giving this back to you because I just can’t get the motivation to work on this right now.” *lowers voice* “And frankly, I don’t care.”

Me: *laughs* “I get it.”

Boss: “So, just sit on it for a while and we’ll work on it later.”

Me: “I have this in electronic format, so if you want to take this and crumple it up, be my guest.”

Boss: *face lights up like a little kid on Christmas* “Yes!” *crumples the chart into a ball with a look of evil glee*

Me: “Feel better?”

Boss: “Oh, yes.”

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