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Taxing Faxing, Part 12

| Working | October 12, 2013

(One of my duties where I work is to process the legal paperwork with new employees. We tell every person we hire to bring in their social security card and photo ID when they bring their paperwork back.)

Employee: “Hi! I brought my paperwork back!”

Me: “Great! Now, if I could just get your social security card and photo ID to make some quick photocopies, we’ll get started with this.”

Employee: “Oh, I brought in some copies of those for you. Here you go.”

Me: “Actually, we can’t use copies. We need the original documents.”

Employee: “Why? You said you wanted to make copies, so I brought you copies!”

Me: “I understand that, but for security reasons, we have to see the original documents to make our own copies from. We can’t just take copies that someone brings in, since we can’t really verify their authenticity.”

Employee: “Well, I don’t have them! And I don’t have the time to go home and come back here later today with them! So I guess you’re going to tell me we have to reschedule now?!”

Me: “No, not at all. We can still go over your paperwork today and make sure everything else is filled out correctly. However, you won’t actually be able to start working until you bring in your original social Security card and ID for us to make copies for our files.”

Employee: *sighs* “Fine! But I don’t see what the big deal is. I really don’t want to make another trip here just for that!”

Me: “I understand, but that is why we told you when we gave the paperwork to you that we would need the original documents.”

Employee: “Whatever! Hey, would it be all right if I just faxed them to you, so I don’t have to make the extra trip?”

Me: “Um… no… We can’t accept a fax.”

Employee: “Why not!? I’d be sending you the originals, not a copy!”

 

Technically Unsupportive

| Working | October 8, 2013

(On my way out of the company, my computer-illiterate coworkers ask me to teach them how to edit web forms. I’ve had to deal with a lot of with these coworkers, so this is the last straw.)

Accountant: “So show me the file where we do things.”

Me: *opens file* “Here it is.”

Event Planner: “But that’s a PHP file. You were hired for HTML.”

Me: “You can use them together.”

Accountant: “We can’t do PHP. You need to teach it to us.”

Event Planner: “Yeah, we need to know PHP to do this.”

Me: “I can’t teach you PHP in the hour I have before I leave this job. I spent two years in college and numerous months on freelance projects before I had a full and complete understanding of HTML and PHP.”

Accountant: “Well, just tell us how to change the price on this thing here.”

Me: “Go here and change ‘price’ to a different number.”

(The accountant changes the number, then changes two other numbers that aren’t related to price, saves the file and closes the program.)

Accountant: “See? I just changed three prices. I didn’t need time in college for that, did I?”

Me: “That was unnecessarily rude. I’ve been polite about how little you understand all of this ‘high tech’ crap, but I’m done. I’m out; see you guys never, and I don’t want a reference.”

(Two weeks later, they leave 25 voicemail messages saying that the form the accountant edited is broken, and that I need to fix it. I never respond.)

Layering It On Thick

| Working | October 5, 2013

(We’re having a planning meeting to discuss a major new project.)

Supervisor: “This project isn’t something we can finish off quickly. It’s like an onion. It has layers that we have to peel away, one by one.”

Coworker: “And it will make us cry a lot.”

A Transfer Of Opinion

| Working | September 25, 2013

(My colleague is a very nice, bright, helpful, hardworking person who is the favorite of the boss. She has been recently granted a transfer to another department that she has wanted to be in ever since she started working at my company.)

Colleague: “Hi [Boss], I’ve been approved for a transfer to another department. As you know, I’ve been quite open about working in that department and have asked for a transfer a year ago already.”

Boss: “Okay, okay, when is your last day?”

Colleague: “A month from now.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll be sad to see you leave.”

(Fast forward a month and a week later. My colleague has been working until after 10 pm daily, and has been coming back on weekends to clear her workload. She has no time to pack her things until her last day, as my boss keeps giving her new projects to handle all the way to the last day, and most of them require months of work to complete. My colleague has to hand over these projects to Colleague #2, on the last day.)

Boss: “[Colleague #2], why are you doing this work? I thought it was supposed to be done by [Colleague].”

Colleague #2: “Well, she has gone to another department, so she handed all these to me before she left.”

Boss: “How dare she! That is so irresponsible! I knew I shouldn’t have taken her into my department. She is so unreliable, and has a bad working attitude! Good riddance to bad rubbish!”

You Know Nothing, Of Jon Snow

, , | Working | September 23, 2013

(I work in an office, and am the only person who’s a bit of a geek. Today I am wearing a t-shirt that spells ‘COEXIST’ using ‘Game Of Thrones’ family sigils. There is a popular shirt design out that also spells ‘COEXIST,’ but using religious symbols.)

Coworker: “Oh! I love those shirts! Such a great message!”

Me: “Oh, totally. I really love the concept.”

Coworker: “One thing, though; I don’t recognize the symbols. What religions are they from?”

Me: “Oh, they aren’t religious symbols. They’re sigils from Game Of Thrones.”

Coworker: “What? That’s silly; why would someone make a shirt for that? Why would sigils need to coexist? They’re some secret cult symbols, aren’t they?!”

Me: “No, they are from the series. The sigils represent different important families in the books and show, and they do not get along. I can show you some screen caps to prove it if you’d like.”

Coworker: “You just don’t want me knowing about your secret religions. I’m pretty sure you’re making this up as a cover up!”


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