(I work for an industrial supply company as a cashier and receptionist. One of my main responsibilities is to answer incoming calls and redirect them to the appropriate department.)

Me: “Hi. Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi. I need to speak with [Sales Guy who is on vacation].”

Me: “I’m sorry, [Sales Guy] is actually not here today.”

Caller: “Is he going to be in tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m not entirely sure; he’s actually been on vacation so I’m not sure what day he comes back.”

Caller: *in a somewhat annoyed voice* “He’s on vacation?! But why?!”

Me: “Well, I’d assume to spend time with his family.”

(He seemed pretty content with that answer, but I’m not entirely sure what he was expecting.)

This happened several years ago when PCs were relatively new and networking wasn’t really a thing. We connected to a mainframe computer for email and for other functions.

I needed a document from someone, preferably in electronic form. I called her and asked if she had an electronic copy. No, she didn’t, but she could give me a copy if I brought a disk for her to put it on.

It took me a while, but I finally realized that, to her, “electronic” meant that it was in her electronic mail. Having it stored on her PC and transferring it to a disk was something else.

I think…

(I work in an office as a receptionist. When the company got this building, there was no reception, but when one was made, it turned out that this one point was the coldest point in the building, and there was no way the climate system could get it warm. So, we got a mobile heater and it works like a charm. In the summer, it’s the coolest place of the building. One day, the CEO and one of the high-ranked managers come inside after borrowing the company bikes. They hand in the keys.)

Manager: “Man, it’s cold outside; look at my hands!” *shows red hands*

Me: “I can imag— Oh, wait, I believe you! Those keys are cold!”

CEO: “My hands are freezing!”

Me: *jokingly* “You poor things!” *pulls out mobile heater* “Why don’t you warm up your hands here?”

(I expect them to decline or walk around the reception and warm their hands. Instead, they lunge over my desk and both put their hands on top of the heater! They are now laying on top of my reception desk, not caring about their expensive business suits, and they release a relieved “Aaaaaah” of sweet contentment.)

CEO: “Next time we take the bikes, this thing is coming along!”

Manager: “How long is our longest extension cord?”

(My CEO and manager are pretty cool people.)

Two companies share buildings; I work for one of the companies. My company always works late, so my company always closes the building. There is still a way to get in and out with assigned badges, so it’s not much of a deal.

One day, the other company decides to host a conference for people who are sight-impared. Of course, we don’t mind, but the issue starts when the organisation comes to my office and claims they have the conference scheduled there. The lady in charge even huffs and puffs until it becomes clear she is on the wrong side of the building. We blame it on stress and the lady moves on, not giving apologies or anything of the like.

The guests arrive, first one by one and then a whole flock. The flock of guests are chatting and don’t notice they are entering the building through sliding doors. A few almost get stuck between the doors, but our safety system prevents that. The lady in charge of the organisation is nowhere to be found to help these people.

Eventually, it is decided the guests will take one of the service stairways because that is the shortest route. It has an automatic, glass door on the top which you need to open with a button. I ask the — finally located — lady in charge if they would help their guests upstairs, since I have to continue my work and they don’t have a contract with us but with the other company. “Of course!” they say. After 15 minutes, a loud clanging noise is heard throughout the building. I decide to check things out.

In order to keep the door open — so they don’t have to be present at the door — the lady has put a chair in front of the sensor. This way, whenever the door wants to close, it gets “startled” by the chair and opens quickly again, slamming against the metal construction on the side. I remove the chair. Clearly, the lady thought this wouldn’t do any harm. We will now have to wait and see if the door sustained any damage.

Then, a few people with worse eyesight enter, and they need to use the elevator. This wasn’t mentioned to the owner of the other office. That part doesn’t have an elevator; ours does. The lady in charge asks, “Can they use your elevator?” We say, “Of course! But will there be someone to take them to the conference room?” The lady replies, “I will be escorting them personally.”

About ten minutes later, my manager comes with one of the guests who apparently took a wrong turn and ended up in our office. I check the elevator; the lady in charge is nowhere to be found, and a few guests are looking around helplessly.

Finally, all guests have arrived, and at closing time, I closed the office. I go to the owner of the other office and express my worries about how the guests will have to leave the building. Will they see the green button they’ll have to push? Considering the track record, I doubt the lady in charge of the organisation will help them. I explain to the owner how the doors can be opened permanently and how to close them — it’s a few buttons. He says he will be there.

But of course — we don’t know how — someone strays away from the group and, when trying to leave the building, they press the red emergency stop. This means the doors will stop moving until they are reset manually. Since the doors are closed, this means they no longer open. We don’t know who did it since all guests are accounted for. We guess someone went back upstairs and didn’t mention it.

I notice this on my way out and reset the doors. I wish the owner a lot of luck with this conference and tell him who to contact if something else goes wrong. The owner confides to me that he will never host this conference again. The guests are lovely; the organisation is an utter mess.

At the beginning of the year, we get a new PhD intern who has a rather inflated ego and will try to exert his authority over others simply because they have a Bachelors or Masters. It suffices to say it becomes quickly apparent that he is not efficient, effective, or all that smart as he claims. He ends up costing the company thousands because he refuses to check his work and in his own words assumes it is “perfect” when he gives it to people. It also turns out he is actually a Masters student and not on track to get his PhD, despite explicitly stating he is working on his dissertation. The icing on the cake is that he refuses to work in the office and can’t work more than 25 to 30 hours a week while initially trying to get 50 to 60 hours a week. Long story short: he is unreliable and a chronic liar, but still thinks he is a real prize.

Around this time, we also have a change in management. Without being prompted or even asked, he determines he will take over the weekly meetings. Our boss, deciding to see where this goes, lets him. Note: he is still technically an intern but is insisting to the rest of us — and his money lender — that he is a full-time employee when the managers are out of earshot. The first week’s meeting goes all right, but they continue to spiral out of control from there.

Eventually, he stops showing up to the office altogether, but still maintains he is going there and lies about it, or even claims his coworkers are the ones not in the office. He then spends the next month or so canceling his own meetings, forgetting about them completely, or trying to get other people to cancel for him.

It finally becomes clear to my boss that this guy is straight-up incompetent, but because he is the type that would sue for wrongful termination, my boss still has to make an effort to correct the mistake. This leads to a round of cries from said “coworker” about how he can’t take the abuse any longer and more whining. My boss even schedules for him to attend a seminar, all expenses paid for, to work on his organization. The guy takes it as nothing more than a suggestion — while still in negotiation for a contract. Eventually, after much back and forth and the boss having several people ask him to go, he agrees…. but his girlfriend ends up driving him.

He uses this seminar to try to leverage more power, while still failing at his job, but obviously gets shut down. Still, he is obviously oblivious to the fact he is in deep s*** at this point.

Finally, around Christmas time, someone else is assigned to run the meetings as we haven’t had one in two months. He, of course, is absent as it is “the holidays.” When he comes back, he is relieved! It goes over his head that he lost his “power” because he was lazy.

Yes, he is still working for this company. And I am currently looking for a new job.

Moral of the story: your coworkers may be a hot mess, but if management allows it, leave.