Unfiltered Story #101125

, , , | Unfiltered | December 6, 2017

(I overhear my coworker discussing a customer with another co-worker:)

Coworker: “She was like what the– well, she used the word hell, but I don’t use the word hell. So she said, “there’s no way in blank…”

(I guess it doesn’t count if you’re talking about the word, only if you used it in context.)

 

Fat Chance Of Caring

, , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(I recently bought a new sweater; it is white with bold red writing on the front which reads: “Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not!” I think it is funny, so I wear it to work. All my other coworkers find it funny, too. But one doesn’t. He is NOT an a**h***! But he always has to voice his opinion, whether anybody wants to hear it or not.)

Coworker: *looking me up and down* ”You look fat in that sweater.”

Me: *pointing at front of said sweater* “You might want to read this again.”

The Only Thing You’re Washing Is Yourself Of This Job

, , , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(I’m between jobs and doing temporary placements washing dishes to keep up. I’m doing a three-day job in my least favorite kitchen, which has by far the heaviest workload, despite servicing a canteen that’s open two hours a day, at an office in the middle of nowhere. Net result is that 90% of the food gets thrown away. On the third day, I get there, and I find the manager looking angry.)

Manager: “Where have you been?”

Me: “I’m due in at 10:00. It’s 9:50.”

Manager: “The others haven’t turned up. You should have coordinated and arranged to come in if they couldn’t make it!”

Me: “I… don’t know them outside work. If you needed me in earlier, you should have phoned me.”

Manager: “Well, you’d better sort this out now. We’ve had no one working pot wash all morning.”

(He shows me a station where no less than six trolleys are piled high with equipment.)

Me: “Wasn’t there anyone you could have assigned to it?”

(There are about 15 cooks working in this canteen.)

Manager: “I couldn’t spare anyone. Now get on with it!”

(I try my best, but things are piling up faster than I can wash them. After half an hour…)

Manager: “This pile’s bigger than it was before!”

Me: “I’m doing my best. This station is supposed to be run by three people.”

Manager: “Then pick up the pace. We need all this stuff in the next ten minutes!”

Me: “Or what? I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen [Big Restaurant] manage a whole day with half of what you’ve cooked so far. You’re cooking one meal, you’ve been cooking it since lunchtime yesterday, and there’s more food piled up than anywhere else I’ve worked. What do you think is going to happen if you have to wait ten minutes?”

(To my surprise, he can’t respond, but continues to shout at me. Fortunately, I get a call from a company I applied to inviting me to an interview. My contract allows me to use my phone, and I know they’ll offer the interview to someone else if I ask them to, so I find some jobs to do one-handed as I talk.)

Manager: “You need to turn that off!”

Me: *mouthing* “I need to take this.”

(He follows me round while I try to ignore him.)

Manager: “If you want to talk to your friends, I can send you home to do it!”

Me: *covers the speaker for a second* “Do it, then!”

(I dropped the tray I was carrying and left.)

Really Feline This Coffee

, , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(I’m in the kitchen at work, making a cup of adequate instant coffee. There’s only a little bit of milk left in the jug so I resolve to use it all, which results in a cup which is almost full to the brim. Realising I won’t be able to carry it over to my desk, but being too early for rational thought, I decide my best course of action is to lean over the bench and sip the top of my coffee until I’m able to carry it. As I perform this task, my supervisor walks into the kitchen. )

Supervisor: “Um… what?”

Me: “My coffee is too full!”

Supervisor: “Oh! I assumed you’ve just been spending too much time with your cat and you finally snapped! Is there any milk left?”

Will Take Up This “Urgent Issue” With HR

, , , , , | Working | November 30, 2017

(One Saturday evening, I send a joke email to two of my friends in the office. The email explains that a client is freaking out about an urgent issue that my friend needs to attend to. Attached to it is a video, but instead if being a real problem, it is of a certain male video game character getting dressed in skimpy underwear. Once my coworkers get the joke, they begin “asking for help” by forwarding this email throughout the company, all the way up to the CEO. On the following Monday:)

Friend: “Hey, did you hear about [Colleague #1]?”

Me: “No, what happened?”

Friend: “Turns out he was out that evening with friends, and had to ditch them for half an hour to try and see that video.”

Me: “Oh, no; that’s terrible!”

Friend: “And have you heard about [Colleague #2]?”

(At this point I’m gritting my teeth.)

Friend: “He was on a date, and left her to go home and help out.”

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