Who Has Time For Coffee?!

, , , , , | Working | May 31, 2021

Our office helps other companies with their customer mail processing and other communications. In the morning, I do two important tasks. First, I have to sort out all the mail coming in so that my own department can start processing it, which is their daily work. After that, I have to sort out the mail for one specific company which outsourced their mailroom to us. A courier then picks up that mail and brings it to their head office.

The second job is big and complicated since the client company has loads of departments and people with different jobs. My predecessor in said mailroom did the job for several decades, so he knew practically everything, to an extent that it is impossible to teach me everything before his transfer. Luckily, the usual courier also has some knowledge and he can call certain people if necessary.

And then, the usual courier falls ill for a few weeks. His replacement is new, so unlike the usual courier, he can’t help to speed up the process. Instead, he just waits impatiently without making any small talk. One morning, he even arrives shortly before I can start with the sorting.

Replacement Courier: “Sorry I’m asking, but can’t you guys do this earlier, so it’s ready when I arrive?”

Me: *Aghast* “Erm, well, no… I’m the only one who can do it. And if I could do it earlier, I simply would.”

I was left wondering what he thought I was doing the entire morning. Later, he complained to the receptionist of the client company that at our place “they do nothing but drink coffee.” I was not amused. When the actual courier started to recover, the replacement was soon let go.

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Riding On The Coattails Of Fame

, , , , | Working | May 28, 2021

A friend of mine used to work in a film crew and did all kinds of odd jobs. He sometimes had to do the most absurd tasks, like going all the way to the hotel to get a foreign actor’s flip-flops.

Despite his flexibility on set, he didn’t own a personal car, so he used public transport to get to the set and back. Since he is far from shy, he also makes friends easily. One day, one of the actors actually offered him a ride home.

The next day, however, his boss took him aside.

Boss: *Almost insulted* “Is it true that you let one of the actors give you a ride?!”

The actor barged in angrily.

Actor: “I want to make very, very clear that I offered [Friend] the ride on my own initiative.”

Thank god, not every star expects to be treated like a demigod.

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No Use Crying Over Expired Milk

, , , , | Working | May 27, 2021

My boss discovers the milk’s expiration date is today, but rather than being a freaking adult and maybe tossing it in the trash can less than two feet away, she decides to try and bully me into it.

Boss: “[My Name], when was the last time the fridge was cleaned out?”

Me: “Every Wednesday.”

Boss: “It needs to be cleaned out.”

Me: “The only thing in there is milk. Everything else is people’s lunches for today.”

Boss: “We don’t want another ‘incident’ with our fridge smelling.”

Me: “Okay?”

Boss: “Just clean it out.”

Me: “I am working on something right now. I will get to it at the end of today.”

Time passes and she decides to loudly declare, so the whole office can hear it:

Boss: “Ew! The fridge is so disgusting. You really need to clean it out! It is so gross in there! You don’t want another ‘incident.’”

I didn’t comment because it was so childish and immature, and again, there was just milk in there. She was acting like the fridge was packed full of rotting food.

She didn’t get the response she wanted and left. I decided to make myself a cup of tea and check the expiration date on the milk. Sure enough, it expired that day. It was still good but since it was Friday, I used the milk and turned and threw it in the trash less than two feet away. Shocking how difficult that was! I was positively exhausted from the effort!

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You Can Throw Those Complaints In The Trash

, , , , , | Right | May 25, 2021

I work for the local council contact centre. People can call in regard to any council-related issue. In this case, it’s about rubbish dumped on the street

The customer has been putting in request after request for the last few months. He calls again and I am the unfortunate one to take his call.

Me: “Good afternoon, [Council], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Caller: “I want this sorted today! I have been putting requests in and it’s not been sorted! I want your manager!”

Me: *Trying to be as calm as possible* “May I ask what the issue is please?”

Caller: “People are dumping rubbish outside my house. It’s all your fault, you stupid b****! My address is [address]!”

Me: “I’m just going to put you on hold so I can have a look.”

I just can’t stand his shouting but I remain calm. 

Me: “Okay, sir, I can see that you have put in two requests in May and June, and another was put in two days ago. This has now gone to the relevant team.”

Caller: “No, I want this sorted today! Call me your manager!”

I called the manager who was in a meeting, so he wanted my manager’s manager’s name to speak to them to get it sorted today. I rang my manager again who had to come out of the meeting to deal with this customer. The caller wanted the surnames of everyone he had spoken to, which I refused due to data protection.

I ended up putting him through to the manager and finished work thirty minutes late thanks to him. It turns out HE was one throwing rubbish on HIS OWN LAND. The council doesn’t deal with privately-owned roads due to insurance purposes, etc. He had been throwing everything out and expecting us to pick it all up.

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No Touchie My Cake!

, , , , | Working | May 24, 2021

To be honest, I don’t like one particular coworker. She just irritates me on every level. She is inconsiderate, bossy, and plain rude. What is more irritating is that she sees nothing wrong with the way she behaves and no one seems to call her out on it.

I bring some cakes into the office for my birthday. I am setting them in the breakroom, which, of course, attracts everyone’s attention.

Coworker: “These look great, thanks.”

Rude Coworker: “You’re welcome.”

My coworker shoots me a look that seems to say, “What the f***?”

Coworker: “I was talking to [My Name], actually.”

Rude Coworker: “Oh, he says you’re welcome, too.”

[Coworker] takes a cake and leaves, and I start to unbox the cakes. [Rude Coworker] starts to take them out of the wrappers and put them on plates.

Me: “I don’t think people want you touching their food.”

Rude Coworker: “Oh, please! I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Me: “Okay, let me rephrase that. Don’t touch my cakes. I brought them in and didn’t ask for your help.”

Rude Coworker: “Oh, you’re being silly.”

Me: “No, I’m telling you to stop.”

She flustered and pouted but eventually left. She later raised a complaint. But thankfully, after I explained, nothing else came of it. She tried to get some of the staff to turn against me, but no one likes her, so it came to nothing, too.

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