Memories Of Happier Christmases

| USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: *answering the phone* “Happy Holidays. Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “How many times a day do you have to say that? Do you have a script or something in front of you?”

Me: “No, no script.”

Caller: “So you just have that memorized?”

Me: “Yep.”

Caller: “Wow!”

Parental Control Versus Gun Control

| USA | Bizarre

(I work in the corporate office for one of the largest firearms manufacturers in the US. I overhear this from one of our service technicians, and to this day I really wish I had heard the customer’s end of this call:)

Tech: “Sir, you need to put your mother on the phone, please.”

Tech: “I know you’re frustrated, but this gun is registered to your mother, and we can’t work on it unless we talk to her.”

Tech: “Are you even old enough to own a firearm, sir?”

(Pause.)

Tech: “Please stop crying, sir…”

Totally Bugging Out

| USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(For the last few minutes, I’ve noticed people acting strangely towards me.)

Customer: “Hello-”

Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?” *smile*

Customer: *eyes bug out* “Um. Ah. Never mind.” *practically runs*

(I take out a small mirror to inspect my face, thinking I have some food for lunch left on it. Nothing. Bemused, I shrug and continue what I’m doing.)

Customer: “Hello, may I get a printout of my account?”

Me: “Of course, ma’am.”

(The customer eyes me weirdly, but I ignore the look. Then as I look down to type, I notice something MOVING on my shirt. It’s a beetle, as black as my shirt. I’m deathly afraid of bugs.)

Me: “Ahhh! Help! Help! Ahhh!”

(The customer and my coworkers stared as I frantically jumped around, swiping at the front of my shirt. The manager came out to see what I was screaming about, and I finally got it off. To this day since then, people call me the Bug-Brained Boy!)