Due to a high number of courses that have to be cancelled because staff fail to show up, our training team has announced a new system where people who no-show or cancel less than forty-eight hours before the course have a cross-charge of £100 made to their team. It comes out of their yearly budget.

We use an online booking system for training — much like booking a hotel room — and most people have twigged that they just cancel or rebook from there. However, some people insist on emailing our administrator, who deals with our training site, expecting her to cancel it. The problem is there is a three-day response time, which they get told via an automatic reply, yet the following happens all too often.

Staff Member: “I emailed telling you to cancel me off the training, but you didn’t and now I’ve got this charge. Get rid of it.”

Coworker: “Sorry, but we made it known at the time we introduced the charges that you have to cancel it yourself.”

Staff Member: “I’m busy; that’s why I told you to do it. Besides, it wouldn’t let me.”

My coworker knows where this is going.

Coworker: “Was there no option to cancel?”

Staff Member: “No! So it’s your system’s fault! It never works!”

Coworker: “The reason there was no button is because you tried to cancel less than forty-eight hours before the course ran.”

Staff Member: “But I emailed you on Monday.” *It’s now Thursday* “You didn’t do it!”

Coworker: “We have a three-day response time for emails. Either way, I would have told you the same thing I am telling you now.”

Staff Member: “It’s ridiculous! I shouldn’t be charged; it wasn’t my fault your system wouldn’t let me cancel.”

My coworker just facepalms.

They usually argue, talk to one of our managers, and then end up getting the charge removed.

I work for a company that has many offices spanning the entire state. When our switchboard operator has too many calls on the line, they overflow to staff in all offices to help ease the call load.

This happens and I answer the phone.

Me: “[Company], my name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

The caller has a very thick and somewhat difficult-for-my-ears-to-understand accent.

Caller: “I want to speak with [Staff Member in a different office who I have never even met, hundreds of kilometres away].”

I checked the staff member’s Skype status, which says they are on annual leave and haven’t been online for a few days.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but it appears she is not in the office today. Can I please take a message for you?”

At this, the caller EXPLODES.

Caller: “I CALL FOR HER. YOU GET HER ON THE PHONE.”

Me: “I am sorry, but she is not at wor—”

Caller: “YOU GET HER! NOW! I CALL FOR HER!”

Me: “I’m happy to take a message for you—”

Caller: “HOPELESS! YOU HOPELESS! WALK OVER TO HER AND YOU TELL HER I CALL.”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but she is not here, and I don’t even work in the same office as her. Can I take a message?”

Caller: “SHE KNOWS WHAT IT ABOUT! YOU DON’T NEED NO MESSAGE!”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t even know your name. Can you please at least provide some contact details?”

Caller: “SHE KNOWS! YOU HOPELESS! YOU TELL HER THE MESSAGE IS HOW HOPELESS YOU ARE!”

Me: “Can you please at least tell me where you are calling from?”

Caller: *Indecipherable accent*

Me: “I’m so sorry, can you please spell—”

Caller: “PATHETIC, SHE KNOWS THIS INFORMATION ALREADY! YOU HOPELESS!”

This went on for a few more minutes until I managed to at least get the name of her business out of her, and then I promptly said, “Thank you, goodbye,” and hung up on her. I still have PTSD from working in a call centre over a decade ago and this call left me shaken and almost crying for the remainder of the day.

Receptionist: “[Company] Publishing; how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “I need to speak with the representative for trade.”

Receptionist: “What is this in reference to?”

Caller: “Just connect me.”

Receptionist: “Sir, to connect you, I need more information.”

Caller: “JUST. CONNECT. ME.”

The receptionist puts him on hold and asks our office manager, who sits behind her, what she should do. The manager tells her to transfer the guy to her. By the time she gets back to the call, the man has hung up, but he calls back almost immediately.

Receptionist: “[Company] Publishing; how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “LISTEN HERE! JUST CONNECT ME TO YOUR CEO! I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY!”

Receptionist: “Sir, I am going to connect you to someone who can assist you now.”

Caller: “You f****** whore! How dare you do this to me?! You are a useless whore.”

Receptionist: “I guess I will not be helping you after all.”

The receptionist terminates the call. The office manager, who only heard the receptionist’s side, comes over:

Office Manager: “What happened?”

Receptionist: “He called me a f****** whore.”

Office Manager: “I’m glad you hung up.”

The guy never called back, but my boss has given our receptionist permission to hang up on him if he does. We’re somewhat lax here. I had an issue with an agent once who was harassing me and my boss told me I could tell him to “Go f*** yourself!” if I needed to. I didn’t, but I appreciated my boss saying I could!

I am fortunate enough to work with talented, fun, hard-working people I consider friends, but like all friends, some of them drive me a little insane. One of the worst is a guy who never listens to anything.

Coworker: “This program is a pain. How am I even supposed to [do a thing]?”

Me: “That’s weird. The tutorial covers that. Did it not display for you?”

Coworker: “I just clicked through it.”

Me: “Okay… Well, hit ‘enter’ to go to the menu.”

Coworker: *Sounding annoyed* “But how do I go to the menu?”

Me: *Pause* “Hit ‘enter.’”

Later, in an email:

Me: “Hey, [Coworker]! I’m working on a promo with [Client], just so you know. I’m going to rope in [Artist] to do the images for it.”

Coworker: “Have you thought about using [Exact Same Artist I Just Mentioned]?”

Me: “That was the second sentence of that email.”

Coworker: “Oh, well, I didn’t read that far.”

Even later-er:

Coworker: “Hey, what are we doing for our launch today?”

I email him a list of items.

Coworker: “But what about [very first item on the list, I’m not even kidding]?”

Me: “You’re lucky you’re my friend.”

He’s a great coworker and friend except for this, and it wouldn’t be an issue if it didn’t happen all the time, and if he wasn’t such a butt when the same thing happened to him.

Me: “I gave [Other Coworker] your new phone number.”

Coworker: “I gave it to him yesterday! I even wrote it down.”

Me: “I know; he couldn’t find the paper when he went to add you to his contacts.”

Coworker: “Ugh, I hate repeating myself! People need to pay more attention to the details.”

Sigh. Love you, buddy.

I work in an office. Yesterday, a client was trying to reply to an email sent by [Coworker #1], but it was never received. The next morning, we are both the first in the office.

Me: “Hey, did you ever get that email from [Client]?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah! It went to my junk folder for some reason.”

Me: “Huh, weird.”

Curious, I start to peruse the junk folder on my computer. I am absent-mindedly clicking through emails while other coworkers file into the office.

Me: “Wow! I need to clean my junk!”

There is a pause while I realize what I’ve just announced and look up to everyone staring at me.

Coworker #2: “Well, good morning to you, too.”