Vocab Confab

| Working | May 18, 2014

(At my school, we have to do ten weeks of internship, the places for which are chosen by the school. I am placed in the city’s registry office. The boss is a rather unfriendly person. I’m quite literate, which of course shows in the weekly reports I have to write and give the boss to read and sign. One day, the following happens.)

Boss: “Hey, [My Name], here are your reports back. Can we talk about them for a second?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I follow him into his office. There is a copy of my report laying on the desk. I can see he typed a sentence I wrote into Google.)

Boss: “How do you do this?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Boss: “How are you able to copy reports from the Internet without it showing up if I Google them?”

Me: “I… write them by myself?”

Boss: “No! You don’t. Your vocabulary is far too big for a 17-year-old girl.”

Me: “Wait. If I really copy my reports from the Internet, I would have to find reports written by people who do the same tasks as I do, every week. That’s not very likely, is it?”

Boss: “Uhm… you can go back to work now.”

(By the end of the tenth week, I receive my grade together with a list showing how many points I got for the individual tasks. I received full points for my written reports.)

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At Logon-heads

| Working | May 17, 2014

(I work on the IT department of a medium-sized company. Sometimes we have issues that require me to log on to a computer, using my admin account, to reinstall software. I have an incident in which I’m certain this is needed, but the user is still logged on. I call him to ask him when he can log off.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [My Name]. I would like to fix the incident you reported but I need you to log off for about 20 minutes. When can I do this?”

User: “I don’t have time to log off for 20 minutes!”

Me: “Ah, I see. Can you log off when you leave to go home so I can do it tomorrow morning?”

User: “That means I have to re-log on tomorrow morning. That takes too long.”

Me: “During your break, then?”

User: “So I have to re-log on after my lunch? No, it takes too long to re-log on. Why can’t you just fix my issue?”

Me: “I might be able to give you a new PC, but that would probably take a few days since I have no computers in stock and have to wait till one comes back.”

User: “If you give me a new PC I will lose all my settings. That will take too long.”

Me: “Well, I have tried everything in my power and cannot help you. I will close the ticket.”

User: “HUH? Why would you close the ticket? I still have the issue!”

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Aliens Vs. Coworkers

| Friendly | May 16, 2014

(My coworker and I had both watched the movie ‘Aliens vs Predators: Requiem’ in the past week and were discussing it.)

Coworker: “I don’t know what I’d do if our town was invaded by those things. I guess I’d run like h***. What would you do?”

Me: “I’d trip you when you started running so they’d get you and I’d make a better getaway.”

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ID Can Take On Any Form

| Working | May 13, 2014

(I have moved and need to get the address on my license plate changed. I go in with two IDs, a phone book with my name and current address, and a mortgage slip with my name and address on it as proof that I have indeed moved.)

Attendant: “Oh, I’m so sorry, honey. That’s not enough proof. This could be an old phone book and you could be paying for someone else’s house.”

Me: “Well, what other could I possibly provide?”

Attendant: “Well, if someone could vouch for you, that’d be perfect! Here’s the form they’d need to sign.”

Me: “So does this need to be a lawyer or something?”

Attendant: “No, just a responsible adult.”

Me: “Ooookay…”

(I turn around and ask the nearest person to sign the form. They do so without really reading it.)

Me: *to the random person* “Thanks!” *to the attendant* “Will that do?”

Attendant: “Yes, ma’am, that’s all we need! We’ll get it taken care of shortly.”

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At Your Earliest Inconvenience

| Working | May 11, 2014

(I am interviewing for a job that I’m excited about. However, I get a bit too excited and wind up showing an hour early.)

Me: “Hi. My name’s [My Name] and I have an interview with the hiring manager?”

Receptionist: “Um….”

Me: “I’m a bit early. If he’s busy, then I can wait.”

Receptionist: “Uh… ok… I’ll tell him that you’re here.”

(Giving me a weird look, the receptionist goes to the back. In a few minutes, she’s back with the hiring manager, who wears a bewildered look.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name]. I apologize for being so early.”

Hiring Manager: “That’s okay…”

(There’s an awkward silence.)

Me: “… If there’s a problem, I can wait. Are you busy?”

Hiring Manager: “No, I’m not. No, I can sit down and talk with you.”

(He gestures to a table and we sit.)

Hiring Manager: “So, what made you come so early?”

Me: “I guess I’m just so excited about this job!”

Hiring Manager: *doesn’t laugh or smile with me*

Me: “Um… I made a mistake with the time?”

Hiring Manager: *nods* “Mistake. With the time. I see.”

Me: “But, at least I’m not late, right? It’s better to be early than late, right? Right?”

(Crickets chirped as the hiring manager said nothing and wrote notes. All through the interview he kept coming back to why I was early. I didn’t get the job. Next time, I arrived right on the dot!)

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