That Explains The Vacancy

, , , , | Working | October 10, 2017

(I see an ad inviting people to apply for a job in person, so I go.)

Clerk: “Hello… can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, can I have a job application?”

Clerk: *very blankly* “What?”

Me: “A job application?”

Clerk: *loooong pause* “Job application. Okay.”

(She hands me one, with a pen and instructions to fill it out. I thank her and go and sit down. I fill it out and approach the desk again.)

Me: “Hello?”

Clerk: *looks straight at me and leaves*

Me: “Um? Hello?”

(She ignored me, so I just put it down on the desk and left. Honestly, if they hired her, I won’t be too unhappy if they decide not to call me!)

Won’t Be Able To Make Up From This

, , , | Working | October 9, 2017

(I work at a “natural” personal care products manufacturer. There is no dress code, aside from just not showing up in your pajamas. I normally don’t wear make up, as it irritates my skin. I come into work wearing a little iridescent eyeliner and mascara that I purchased on a whim. My boss, a man in his 70s, comes in and sits down to go over something. I notice he stops responding and is just staring at me.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Boss: “What is that on your face?”

Me: “Uh… make up?”

Boss: “[My Name], you look like a fish! It’s awful!”

Me: *dumbstruck*

Boss: *turns to female coworker* “Doesn’t she look like a fish?!”

(My coworker, who wears more makeup than I do, turns.)

Coworker #1: “What? No. She’s looks beautiful.”

Boss: “Well, I think it looks awful.”

Coworker #2: “No, she looks fine.”

Me: *holding back tears of embarrassment* “I… I was just trying something new. I guess it didn’t work.”

Boss: “I should say so. We only like NATURAL women here.”

(I went to the bathroom to wash off my makeup. Later that month, [Coworker #1] dyed her hair from honey blonde to platinum, and [Boss] refused to look at or speak to her all day, even going so far as to hold up folders to block her from his vision as he mouthed, “Oh, my God!” to the rest of us.)

Customer Interaction Isn’t Meant To Be With Each Other

, , , , | Working | October 9, 2017

(I’m at the office and our Internet is not working. I’m calling our ISP. After waiting for almost half-an-hour, I finally reach their service desk. After I explain the problem, the following conversation takes place.)

Support: “Okay, again, sorry about the long wait. Let me transfer you to the technical department; a tech will take it from there.”

Me: “All right, thanks.”

(I’m back on hold, but only for a moment.)

Other Person: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. We have no Internet at the office. The modem shows it has no DSL connection. The customer ID…”

Other Person: “Yes, it’s [other customer ID].”

Me: “Uhm… no… it’s [my customer ID].”

Other Person: “Huh? No, it’s not. I have it here on the invoice.”

Me: “What invoice?”

Other Person: “The invoice you sent me? Like the ones you send me every month?”

Me: “Wha… Wait… You’re a customer?”

Other Person: “Well, obviously? I called you about my Internet connection. You just repeated the issue back to me; now I’m expecting you to fix it.”

Me: “Hardly. I called because I’m having the same problem. And now they put me through to you. I guess he was really out of it.”

Other Person: “Oh, great. At least I have someone to talk to instead of that stupid recording that keeps telling me how important my call is to them. So, what do we do now?”

Me: “I guess we’ll have to call again.”

(And so we did. This time I didn’t wait as long, and they actually got it fixed within an hour or so. Hope they could also help the other guy.)

They Remind You Of The Babe

, , , , | Friendly | October 6, 2017

(I’m working with two coworkers who are several years older than I. Both start singing and quoting a movie back and forth.)

Me: “I have absolutely no idea what you two are on about.”

Coworker #1: “You aren’t that young, are you?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, it’s from Labyrinth.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I watched that years ago. That’s the one where David Bowie is a—”

(All three of us simultaneously:)

Me: “Paedophile.”

Coworker #1: “Hot guy!”

Coworker #2: “Goblin king!”

Me: “Hmmm, guess we all took something different away from that film.”

Sharing Is Consciously Caring

, , , , , | Working | October 6, 2017

(It’s early morning, and we are making ourselves some breakfast before we start working. One of my coworkers is of an ethnicity where the sharing of food is of utmost importance. She will not eat her food without offering it to others, even if she only just has enough for herself. She has just made herself some toast.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name], would you like some?” *holds out her plate*

Me: “No, thanks. You eat it.”

Coworker #1: *pushing plate towards me* “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

Me: “Yes, I am; I have my own food on the table.”

(Another coworker comes into the room.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #2], would you like some toast?” *holds out plate*

Coworker #2: “Yes, please. I didn’t get anything for breakfast today because I thought I was going to be late.” *reaches out for a piece*

(I watch in amusement as [Coworker #1]’s hand moves the plate away as it is reached for. [Coworker #2] puts down her hand.)

Coworker #1: “Aren’t you going to take it?”

(Again, [Coworker #1] pushes the plate towards [Coworker #2], and again the plate is withdrawn as [Coworker #2]’s hand moves towards it. [Coworker #2] has a confused look on her face as she puts her hand down.)

Me: “You can have some of mine; I still have more in the packet on the table.”

Coworker #2: “Thanks.” *starts moving towards the table*

Coworker #1: *starting to get agitated* “Why won’t you take some?”

Coworker #2: “I didn’t think you wanted me to have a piece.”

Coworker #1: “I’ve been trying to give you the whole plate and you won’t take it.”

Coworker #2: “I only wanted a piece.” *she is finally able to take a piece of toast*

(I could see that [Coworker #1] had no idea that she was doing what she had been doing; it was obvious that subconsciously she did not want to share!)

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