My general manager would receive monthly finance reports from me, and it was painfully obvious he wasn’t paying attention to any of them.

To test my theory, one month when margins slumped, I noted the reason as “poor cost control by local management.”

He never said a thing, but his superiors caught on and started an investigation into him.

A week later, he was suddenly fired on the same day as the head of HR was also let go. It wasn’t explained exactly what happened, but I did overhear a supervisor on the phone as I walked past his office:

Supervisor: “Yeah, the bogus company expenses were part of it, but I think it was the graphic CCTV footage of our offices being used as their ‘love shack’ that sealed the deal…”

I’m deaf and wear two hearing aids; without them, I hear nothing. Around this time, I kept getting really bad ear infections in my ears. I was told I can still work.

My boss, who is a bully, had me stand outside on a freezing, snowy day, running a stand about our work. I had a bad ear and a cold already. By the end of the day, I couldn’t feel my feet (steel-toe cap boots work made us wear), and [Boss] told me it was my fault for not drinking hot drinks (I only like cold drinks).

The next day was Saturday, and I spent the day in the warmth of my flat trying to get better, but my ear was killing me. I called our out-of-hours NHS (National Health Service), and they told me to go to the treatment centre. I was seen and told that I had a very nasty ear infection, and they gave me antibiotics. I woke up Sunday to my ear twice its normal size, burning, and half my face numb. I knew I was in a bad way. 

I drove myself to A&E at 1 AM. All they could do at the time was give me pain meds and make me comfortable until the ear specialist came in on Monday morning. Several hours go by, and by then I can’t move my jaw; my ear is swollen shut. My ear was so badly infected that I was admitted to the ward with a drip of antibiotics, a wick in my closed ear (I passed out when they did this) to put antibiotics in the ear, and a morphine pump.

After two weeks, I was back at work in front of my Boss and the HR lady, as I had gone over my ten sick days allowance. The fact that I was in the hospital for over a week didn’t matter, and I was told I should still come into work even if I have a bad ear.

Me: “If both ears flare up, I can’t come in.” *I work outside with the public.* “Not wearing my hearing aids means I can’t hear anything.

HR Lady: “That’s fine, we’ll give you office work: phone duties.”

Me: “You want me to come in when I can’t wear my hearing aids and do phone duties?”

Both she and the boss said yes. Okay, fine then. I signed the paperwork to say that we had this chat, etc.

I was angry as I felt he had caused me to be in hospital, and they don’t just keep you in for the sake of it.

Sure enough, the following month, both ears flared up, and I couldn’t wear both hearing aids. It was scary for me to leave my home, not being able to hear, but I had to follow their rules.

I got into the office and told my boss:

Me: “My ears have gone bad again, but I’m here.”

I was told later I had shouted. [Boss] said something, but I decided not to lip-read; I wasn’t making it easy for him. I kept shouting:

Me: “What did you say?”

I did this a few times, and then he wrote go to the desk over there and deal with any phone queries.

Me: “Okay!”

So, I sat there, staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring. After a couple of hours, the phone hasn’t rung. [Boss] came over and started talking to me, red in the face.

I looked at him, puzzled, and said:

Me: “What did you say?”

He looked so angry and wrote down, ‘Why aren’t you answering the phone?’

I looked back at him and said:

Me: “Well, I haven’t heard it ring yet!”

I swear he had steam coming out of his ears. I got sent back home as I was a ‘health and safety risk!’ Apparently, the phone had been ringing off the hook the whole time, but of course, I couldn’t hear it ringing. 

Seriously, asking a deaf person who can’t wear their hearing aids to do phone duties! Thankfully, I only had one more hospital-induced ear infection since. Strangely, after having my tonsils removed after way too many bouts of tonsillitis, I haven’t had one ear infection since!

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 19
Deaf To Reason, Part 18
Deaf To Reason, Part 17
Deaf To Reason, Part 16
Deaf To Reason, Part 15

A colleague is tutting loudly and making annoyed sounds at her desk. This means she wants someone to ask her:

Me: “Everything alright, [Colleague]?”

Colleague: “[Store] has this thing I want that I saw on their Facebook. I went there to buy it on my lunch break, but they told me that it was an online-only item!”

Me: “So… buy it online?”

Colleague: “No! I don’t trust online shopping. They’ll steal my credit card information!”

Me: “That stuff is all quite secure. If anything went wrong, you could call your bank, and they’d help you sort it out.”

Colleague: “I don’t want to put my credit card online.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you then. If they say it’s only online, you need to buy it online.”

Colleague: “I’ll call them.”

She sits at her desk and calls that store’s help number. After she gets an agent and explains her problem, it sounds like the store agent can help her order her item over the phone.

Colleague: *Loud and clear, in an open office.* “Okay, so my card number is Four, Four, Seven…”

Same volume for the expiry date, the CVV, and her address registered to her card.

Years ago, when I was doing network operations, we got an alarm for a data center that had a problem with the sprinklers. These days, data center sprinkler systems are loaded with inert gases like argon or nitrogen, but back then, it was water. We called someone to head into the office to work on the issue.

After that, we had to reach out to the facilities manager. As I am in Richmond, Virginia, and the data center was in California, I was calling them at about 5 AM. When the guy picked up (VP level), he read me the riot act and hung up. 

I called him back and stopped him when he began to rant:

Me: “I just need to give you the message, and then you can hang up. Your data center is flooding, and water is pouring on the server racks.”

VP: “Holy s***!”

Me: “I have facilities on their way to the site, and we are pulling the appliance list to notify the application owners.”

VP: “I’m in a car with a bunch of friends on the way to a football game.”

It’s 5 am their time, but California’s traffic is legendary.

Me: “Would you like me to call the CISO (Chief Information Security Officer, his boss)?”

VP: “…Yeah.”

Me: “Will do. Enjoy the game.”

He later contacted our department to apologize to me and talked me up to my boss.

I work for a large company that has a dozen offices around the country. The CEO of the entire company is being given a tour of our site, the newest in the organization. As a department manager, I am expected to be present for the tour and to answer questions.

My Manager: “Remember, this is [CEO]. He’s very serious and very smart. You have to show the utmost professionalism around him.”

Me: “Noted.”

My Manager: “I mean it. No jokes, no cute anecdotes, nothing. Just straight facts and direct answers.”

Me: “You got it.”

The day of the tour comes around, and the CEO’s tour has reached my department. My manager and the CEO are walking around my employees and their desks.

CEO: “Once you’ve completed [task], then what?”

Me: “Then it gets sent to the processing team, who are actually on a different floor. If you’d follow me.”

The three of us get into the elevator to meet the processing team.

CEO: “I noticed you used the latest version of [Software]. Is that because of the real-time collaboration functionality caused by your team being split over two floors?”

Me: “Yes, that’s exactly why. Very astute of you, [CEO].”

CEO: *Starts giggling.* “Hehe. Astute. Sounds like a** toot. A** toot, like a little fart.”

The elevator doors open to the other floor, and [CEO] steps out, asking questions as if nothing had happened. My manager and I had to pause for a moment to share a “did that just happen” look before catching up with him and resuming answering his questions.