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Impossibly Free

| Canada | Crazy Requests

Caller: “I want to speak to your manager as soon as possible!! It’s very important!”

Me: “I’ll have him call you as soon as he’s free, ma’am.”

Caller: “No! I said I want him to call me as soon as POSSIBLE, not when he’s free!”

Me: “Ma’am, that IS as soon as possible.”

(The caller hung up on me. I guess it wasn’t soon enough!)

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Goes Against My Code

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(I write code for very high end automation systems. This is a drawn out process that has me sitting on my laptop in a customer’s space for long periods of time.)

Customer: “So, did you go to school for this?”

Me: “Yes, I did, but it is very specialized training.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you must be very good with computers.”

Me: “I am, yes.”

(It’s at this point I know what is coming and it has happened on a few occasions.)

Customer: “My computer there is running very slow. I have fast Internet; do you know why it could be slow?”

Me: *looking at older laptop* “I’m not sure. It could be a virus, some malware, there are a bunch of things it could be.”

Customer: “Oh. Could you fix it?”

Me: “I could, yes, but it’s not within the scope of the job. I’m here to do this.”

Customer: *now frustrated* “Well, I figured while you were just sitting there you could push a button and fix my computer…”

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What The Flux Capacitor!

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(I work doing PC and electronic maintenance at a large company. I am called into an office to check out a malfunctioning label maker.)

Me: “So, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It isn’t working; I can’t get it to print.”

(I take a look at the document and print out the labels effortlessly.)

Me: “Seems to be working fine.”

Customer: “Well, it wasn’t working yesterday when I needed it.”

Me: “I see. You might have just needed a simple restart. It seems to be working now. Is there anything else you need.”

Customer: “Well, why wasn’t it working yesterday?”

Me: “I can’t be sure since it seems to be working now. Unless you were doing something different?”

Customer: “No, but I needed it to work yesterday.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t fix it yesterday.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I don’t have a time machine.”