After the better part of twenty years in customer service and retail jobs, I’ve had it. After I complete a couple of data entry contract gigs, my wife gets a new job and we move. I send out my resumes and get a nibble. Everything’s fine until the interview comes to an end.

Interviewer: “We’re not able to pay as much as your last job—”

It’s $2 less, but it’s within our budget.

Interviewer: “—but we think you’ll be a good fit. Our next orientation is in one week, and this is the address for our phone bank.”

Me: “Oh, is your training facility there?”

Interviewer: “No, you’ll just be shadowing for a while before we put you on the phone to call clients.”

Me: *Pauses* “Am I being interviewed for the right position? My resume specifically said I was looking for data entry, not customer service.”

Interviewer: “Right, and 90% of your work will be data entry.”

Me: “And the remaining 10% is customer service, which is a dealbreaker.”

Interviewer: “It’s not customer service!”

Me: “Are these clients business associates, or am I taking requests or troubleshooting from people outside the industry?”

Interviewer: “Well, you’re cold-calling people, but you’re offering them great deals!”

Me: “That’s customer service. Do you have anything where I won’t be interacting with the general public?”

Interviewer: “Uh, we have a records entry and verification area, but that’s—”

They describe a pay that’s an additional $3 cheaper, which is much harder for the budget, but better for my sanity.

Me: “I’d like to interview for that, if I could.”

Interviewer: “But this pays more!”

Me: “And it’s something I specifically said on my resume I was not available for and would not do.”

Interview: “Fine, I’ll see if they’re hiring. We’ll call you back.”

They did not call me back.

We have a junior support staff worker with us. She answers phones, emails potential customers, books lunches, etc. It’s not a very busy role, suitable for those without experience wanting to climb the ladder. She does an okay job but tends to chat a lot, and her stories seem to get more and more unbelievable every week.

She has told us about her famous family (that she can’t then talk about,) her murder suspect uncle who is apparently at large, her fabulous holidays (that she never has any details on), etc.

She doesn’t harm anyone, so I play along for the most part.

One morning, I get back after a work-related task and see [Coworker] in the owner’s office. He looks angry and she looks very uncomfortable. After a while, she goes back to her desk, refusing to talk to me.

I give it a minute and then walk over to the owner’s office.

Me: “Is this a bad time?”

Owner: “Hmm? Oh, no, it’s fine. Shut the door, though.”

Me: “Problems?”

Owner: “[Coworker] has been getting some nasty and aggressive phone calls from a withheld number. They called her by name, so it must be a customer. I’m going to find out who it is, and when I do—”

Me: “Sorry, did this happen today?”

Owner: “Well, yes, this morning.”

Me: “Okay. Well, you know our phone system has been down all morning? I’ve just got back from talking to the supplier.”

He sinks back in his chair.

Owner: “So no phone calls.”

Me: “No, no one can ring in at all. And it won’t be fixed for a few more hours.”

Owner: “When did the problem start?”

Me: “Last night. I can pull the logs, but I think…”

Owner: “…she made it all up.”

Me: “I’m not sure how she thought she would get away with it. All of our IP phones log calls.”

Owner: “Okay, I will deal with it.”

As far as I know, [Coworker] didn’t get into any real trouble for making that up, but she did stop with the stories after that.

It’s about a year into the major global health crisis and two of my coworkers and I are on a break. One of them is very conspiracy-minded about the whole crisis.

Coworker #1: “Yeah, it’s kind of weird that the pharmacy’s shelves are filled with cold and flu medication.”

Coworker #2: “What do you mean?”

Coworker #1: “Well, it’s obvious that no one’s buying it right now, what with [crisis] and stuff.”

Me: “Or the staff is just stocking the shelves.”

Coworker #1: “No, no. People aren’t getting colds right now; it’s all [crisis], instead.”

Me: “Or the measures we’re taking are helping reduce the number of colds.”

Coworker #1: “That’s not it at all. All colds are being listed as [crisis], so people aren’t buying cold medication.”

I just looked at my other coworker and wandered off to find something to do.

I work for a construction-related carded system in the inbound call centre that sells the cards. All cards have qualification requirements; some are one-day courses and others are full university degrees and multi-year NVQs (National Vocational Qualifications). We have access to a database of individuals that work within the construction industry or have taken construction-related courses.

I’ve informed this caller that he doesn’t have any of the qualifications on his file needed to get a gold bricklaying card, and I ask if he’s done anything more than his carpentry NVQ 1 qualification.

Caller: “No. I’ve only done the carpentry one. But I need the gold brikkie card.”

Me: “I wouldn’t be able to do the gold card, then, sir, just the green carpentry one. The system doesn’t allow overrides; it has to be in the file to produce the card.”

Caller: “Can’t you just… add one in? One of them NVQs, level 3?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Caller: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me: “That’s fraud, sir.”

Caller: “I won’t tell anyone, sweetheart.”

Me: “The calls are recorded, sir.”

Caller: “Oh.”

We have just opened a new office of a business with a name similar to, yet still very different from a popular Midwest restaurant chain. We are not involved in food service or anything even remotely similar.

One day at about noon, an older gentleman walks in.

Customer: “Are you serving lunch yet?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re an office, not a restaurant.”

Around me are cubicles, copiers, and desks — nothing at all that looks like a restaurant.

Customer: “Oh, do you only open for supper hours?”

Me: “Sir, this is [Business], not [Restaurant].”

Customer: *Pointing toward the window* “That sign outside says [Restaurant]!” *Stomps away*