Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can I ask you something?”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Coworker: “When my girlfriend says she doesn’t want anything for her birthday, what should I get her?”

Me: “Uh, I dunno, probably nothing if that’s what she said?”

Coworker: “But I know she wants something!”

Me: “I’ve never met her, so I have no idea what that would be.”

Coworker: “Well, when you tell your boyfriend you don’t want anything for your birthday, what do you expect?”

Me: “Nothing?”

Coworker: *Scoffs* “Oh, come on! You’d be pissed!”

Me: “Uh, no, I wouldn’t? I don’t play those kinds of games.”

Coworker: “Yeah, right. I’ll just go ask [Other Female Coworker].”

I realize there are women who play these games, but given how insistent he was that ALL women do it, I do wonder if his girlfriend really fell into that category.

[Coworker] has been complaining about selling his house for months. It’s a little rundown two-bed in the middle of nowhere. From what I saw in the photos, it looks way overpriced. He has mentioned that all the offers have been less than what he wants, and he isn’t going to take less than the maximum the estate agent said it could (possibly) get.

Me: “Morning, [Coworker], you all right?”

Coworker: “Yeah, although I’m sick of these buyers wasting my time.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I forgot you left early the other day. Did it not go well?”

Coworker: “Another offer below the asking. I don’t know why they waste my time.”

Me: “Do you think that the price might be a little high if everyone is offering less? I mean, due to the market at the moment.”

Coworker: “I was told that the house was worth up to [high price] and that’s what I want!”

Me: “Fair enough.”

I think, “Don’t moan all the time, then.”

Coworker: “I’m going to put in a cheap kitchen this weekend. Do you have any tools?”

Me: “Not for kitchens, sorry. I didn’t realise it needed a new kitchen. Are you doing it yourself?”

Coworker: “Well, [TV Show] said it could increase the value of the house. And they fitted a kitchen in an afternoon.”

Me: “Okay, wow. Well, good luck.”

I eventually found out that he fitted the cheapest kitchen he could find, and he didn’t do a good job of it, either. Another six months and he finally sold for even less than the offers he’d received before. Of course, this was all the buyer’s fault somehow.

I was in a job for five years when a new director came in that I did not get along with, so I started to seek out a new job.

I got a call from an office asking to come in for an interview when I was out of town for my wedding. I let them know I was out of town and could schedule something for when I got back. The woman on the phone was a little rude after that but I brushed it off.

When I went in for my interview:

Interviewer: “So, you were out of town when we originally planned this interview. We are not looking to hire ‘transient’ people.”

Me: “I had a destination wedding which, naturally, had been planned for a while. And since I was in my last job for five years after graduating from school, I’m not sure how I come across as ‘transient’.”

The woman did not say much in return and instead gave me some paperwork regarding their company policies. There was nothing about time off, PTO, or sick leave, so I asked for clarification.

Interviewer: “See! I knew you were transient! You go off for trips instead of working. We want people for the long haul!”

I walked out.

They called me a few weeks later stating that the woman who interviewed me was no longer there and asked me to come back in. I politely declined. I looked up their employee reviews online a while later and saw that the turnover is horrible as they rarely approve time off and give one half-hour of sick leave per pay period.

I receive a phone call at 10:30 pm on a Sunday. I see that it’s my office supervisor.

Me: “Hello?”

Supervisor: “Did you send [file] on Friday like I asked?”

Me: “Yes, right before lunch.”

Supervisor: “Send it again.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do it first—”

Supervisor: “Now.”

Me: “Now?”

Supervisor: “It’s due to the client on Monday by noon.”

Me: “I already sent it. I can send it again tomorrow but—”

Supervisor: “I need it now!”

Me: *Sigh* “You want me to go to the office on my day off to send a file I already sent? You know that’s double time for the full hour.”

Supervisor: “No! Absolutely not! It’s five minutes of work. Just come—”

Me: “I’ll look into it tomorrow morning. Goodnight, [Supervisor].”

I hung up before he could say anything else, turned my phone off, and went to sleep. When I woke up Monday morning, I had two angry voicemails about my unwillingness to be a team player, how my attitude would set us back thousands of dollars… and a text saying he had found it.

No one likes [Coworker] at work. She is a suck-up and she’s terrible at her job. Any time she gets called out, she shifts the blame onto someone else or just tattles on them. It doesn’t even get her out of trouble; it just gets two people into hot water.

From her constant whining, it appears that [Coworker] has decided that she doesn’t want to work all her agreed hours anymore. She sees other people starting late or finishing early and expects to be able to do the same, even though those people don’t actually work any less; they make up their hours at another time.

The first I hear about this is from a text from her manager.

Manager: “Can you join us in meeting room one? You are going to want to hear this.”

I go and find [Coworker] sitting there with [Manager].

Manager: “Why don’t you repeat what you said to me?”

Coworker: “I don’t see why I have to work all these hours when [My Name] gets to come and go as he pleases.”

Me: “Whoa, where did this come from?”

Manager: “She has a log.”

She brandishes her notebook, and I go and grab my diary from my desk.

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

Coworker: “May 24th, you didn’t show up for work. Didn’t book a holiday.”

Me: “I was with a customer, approved in advance.”

Coworker: “Okay. Well, on June 7th, you left two hours early.”

Me: “I caught a flight for work purposes.”

Coworker: “Well… Well, June 21st, you arrived late every day that week. And I know you didn’t get stuck in traffic because you came in with coffee.”

Me: “I spent the weekend here and I took my hours back as Time Off In Lieu.”

She frantically searches her little notebook.

Me: “We done here?”

Manager: “Yes. Thank you for your help, as always.”

I left but could hear her manager explaining that everyone has different work patterns, and yes, she could work fewer hours, but she would get paid less. It clearly didn’t happen because she was back at her desk on time the next day.