Stressing His Point

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Working | January 20, 2015

(I sit next to a coworker who is known for doing unusual and borderline stupid things – but I find him very entertaining and he’s always good for a laugh. The coworker has found a stress ball, and has started ripping it apart.)

Coworker: “Hmm. I wonder what’s inside this.”

(He opens it, to find what appears to be a ball of corn starch.)

Coworker: “Hey, corn starch is non-Newtonian, right? Let’s find out!”

(He grabs a sledgehammer that happens to be lying around, places the stress ball on the ground, and starts whaling on it. I just look at him with astonishment. After about twenty good whacks a cleaning person walks by about five feet from our cubes.)

Cleaning Person’s Radio: “Yeah, we’re getting reports from the second floor of some work being done on the third floor, it sounds like someone’s banging on the floor. Can you take a look?”

(Coworker’s eyes got real big, the hammer dropped to his side and hit the floor, and he started running. I laughed hysterically. When I left, there was still a mark on the carpeting where the ball was pounded into it.)

Misunderstood ‘Do You Copy?’

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Working | January 19, 2015

(I work testing, interviewing, and hiring people for local work and have to collect IDs during the hiring process.)

Me: “Okay, I need to see your photocopy and the original of two forms of current and valid state and federal IDs to finish this paperwork.”

Applicant: “Will my passport work?”

Me: “As long as it is current, and I will also need a state ID like a driver’s license.”

Applicant: “Okay.” *hands me only the passport*

Me: “You were asked over the phone to bring a photocopy of your IDs. Can I have that as well?”

Applicant: “Can’t you just make a copy?”

(We are at a public location per their request since they live so far away. Since we are not at my office I cannot and I tell them so.)

Applicant: “Well, I don’t have a copy. Can’t you take my ID with you back to your office and mail it back to me?”

(It is illegal to do so and I inform them of this.)

Applicant: “Well, the person I spoke to on the phone never told me about this.

You should really hire competent people. He sounded very new and not all that bright.”

Me: “That was me you spoke to on the phone and I checked with you twice to make sure you understood what you had to bring today.”

Applicant: “Well, he wasn’t very clear. You should fire that guy. So, when do I start?”

(I pack up my things and hand back her passport.)

Me: “We’ll let you know.”

Their On Your Money

| England, UK | Friendly | January 16, 2015

(I have a bit of a reputation as a bargain hunter, finding great deals and never buying something just because it’s trendy.)

Coworker: “Hey what you looking at?”

Me: *look up from my phone* “Oh just looking for an upgrade; this one isn’t really working as it should.”

Coworker: “Is that an iPhone you’re looking for?”

Me: *realising where this is headed* “Oh, yes, well, they are a bit pricey but it would work with my car, my hi-fi, and my girlfriend already has an iPod and an iPad.”

Coworker: “But it’s an iPhone…”

Me: “Yes…”

Coworker: “But they cost… money…”

(I didn’t realise up till that day how much of a reputation I had. I ended up buying a iPhone, but a cheap, older model.)

Office Based Romance

| SC, USA | Working | January 14, 2015

(When I go to log into the office records system this morning, I get the strangest pop up:)

Pop Up: “Warning: the trust relationship has failed between the system and the computer.”

Me: “[Coworker]! Help! The system just broke up with my computer!”

She Gets Rid Of My Grief(ers)

| LA, USA | Romantic | January 10, 2015

Me: “Ugh. I hate being unproductive. Fridays will kill me… and the day is going by so slow!”

Boyfriend: “Just think, Minecraft tonight.”

Me: “Oh, I am so going to kiss you when I get home.”

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