Her Prized Obsession

| Washington, DC, USA | Working | January 10, 2013

(Our boss has tasked us with asking customers to sign up for reward cards. If we do, the one who gets the most to sign-ups gets a prize. I don’t care if I win, so I decide to ask only if I feel like it. However, my other coworkers are very competitive.)

Customer: “Can I make my payment, please?”

Me: “Of course you may.” *gives total* “Thank you very much. Would you like to sign up for this?” *explains reward card*

Customer: “Uh, sure! Of course!”

Me: “Great!”

Aggressive Coworker: *to me* “What the H*** is going on here?!”

Me: “This lady is just signing up for the rewards program.”

Aggressive Coworker: “Bulls***! I spent THIRTY MINUTES helping her out, and YOU get the rewards! That’s CRAP!”

(Other coworkers and customers turn to stare. Meanwhile, the customer I’ve helped is clearly uncomfortable with my coworker, and is hurriedly trying to fill out the rewards form.)

Me: “Uh well, all you had to do was ask her, you know.”

Aggressive Coworker: “Doesn’t matter! I think I should get counted for this signup instead of you, because I spent so much time with her!”

(My aggressive coworker SLAPS the customer with back of the hand on her arm.)

Aggressive Coworker: “Didn’t I, lady?!”

Customer: “….Sure.”

(My customer finishes, throws the form at me, and practically runs out the door.)

Aggressive Coworker: “See! So, gimme what I earned! Or ELSE!”

(I decide to just let my coworker have it so she doesn’t continue scaring everyone. Later, I complain to the manager about her behavior, but I get blamed for starting a fight. I promptly quit. Much later, I ran into the aggressive coworker in the supermarket. Turns out, she been fired for being caught watching adult movies on the company’s computer!)

Chemically Imbalanced, Part 8

| Mansfield, MA, USA | Romantic | January 7, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are huge science geeks. We are texting as I wait for him to pick me up.)

Boyfriend: “So, I have a serious and science-y question for you.”

Me: *confused* “Okay?”

Boyfriend: “Tungsten Iodine Lithium Lithium-Yttrium Oxygen Uranium-Magnesium Gold Radon Radon Yttrium- Magnesium Erbium.”

(He does this as a joke a lot, so I start decoding.)

Me: “Okay, this makes no sense, but is it: Wilili You Mgaurnrny Me?”

Boyfriend: “I forgot to tell you that its first letter only.”

(I start decoding again.)

Me: “Makes some sense, so is it: Till You Mgrry Me?”

Boyfriend: “I meant the symbol, sorry.”

(I start decoding again and I see him start to drive up the driveway. When I finish decoding I start crying. My boyfriend comes out of the car and reads his message he sent me.)

Boyfriend: “Will You Marry Me?”

Me: “Yes!”


Mismanaged Expectations, Part 5

| Denver, CO, USA | Working | December 25, 2012

(My former boss is really intelligent and very hard working, but is incredibly socially inept, to the point where it’s caused serious problems. I’m sitting at my desk when she barges into my cubicle and begins berating me.)

Former Boss: “[My name], why weren’t you at the 10:00 meeting that just got finished? It was VERY important that you be there!”

Me: “Meeting? What meeting? I don’t have anything on my calendar.”

(I pull up my electronic calendar and, sure enough, there’s no 10:00 meeting on it.)

Former Boss: “You can’t just delete a meeting and later claim you weren’t invited!”

(I then pull up my former boss’ calendar, which shows the details of the 10:00 meeting.)

Me:“Look, [former boss]: the meeting is right there. You set up this meeting on [date and time] and invited four people. My name’s not on the list. I had no way of knowing about the meeting unless you invited me, and you didn’t invite me. If you had asked me to be there I’d have been there. But you can’t expect me to attend meetings unless I’m informed of their existence.”

Former Boss: “That’s no excuse. You need to start looking at MY calendar and watch for meetings you SHOULD attend and come to them, even if I don’t specifically tell you about them!”

(After numerous similar incidents, my former boss was reassigned to ‘Special Projects,’ where she won’t have to ‘manage’ the performance of other staff.)


Getting Them To Understand Is Like Pulling Teeth

| New York, USA | Working | December 22, 2012

(I’ve just found out from my dentist that I need all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. I schedule an appointment for the next week and then rush over to the store where I work. The assistant manager happens to make her weekly schedule this week and gets very angry if people try to take time off after she posts it.)

Me: “Have you posted the schedule yet for next week?”

Assistant Manager: “No, why?”

Me: “I just found out I need all of my wisdom teeth removed. My surgery is scheduled for next week. They said recovery time is at most a full week so just to be on the safe side I’d rather not come in all of next week.”

Assistant Manager: “Well, it’s too late! I’ve already figured out the schedule in my head!”

Me: “But it isn’t posted yet. I apologize for the short notice, but I just found out an hour ago that this was happening.”

Assistant Manager: “It isn’t even that big of a deal! Seriously, you’ll be able to work an hour after surgery! You will be able to come in next week; your doctor lied.”

Me: “Um… please don’t schedule me to work. My face is going to be all swollen and I’ll be on strong pain medication. I will not be able to come in next week! And are you really going to have me come in a few hours after surgery?!”

Assistant Manager: “Yes! There is no ‘recovery time.’ You’ll be able to work right away. And it’s too bad… I’ve already made the schedule!”

(My assistant manager storms off, leaving me stunned. Another coworker overhears the entire conversation and immediately offers to cover any shifts that I get scheduled for. The best part: the assistant manager got all four wisdom teeth pulled a month earlier, and she took over two weeks off to recover!)

Suddenly, It’s Smelling Pretty Ripe

| USA | Working | December 11, 2012

(A coworker has returned from her lunch break.)

Coworker: “I wish I hadn’t tried to peel that banana. It wasn’t ripe enough. I couldn’t get it open all the way.”

Me: “I love bananas when they’re still green. I would have taken it!”

Coworker: “Really? I’ll go get it out of the trash. You want it?”

Me: “Um… no. That’s okay.”

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