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Trauma-Free Cleaning

| UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in an office that handles cleaning and we generally get snobby younger ladies as clients that just like to complain. I answer the phone:)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your lady traumatized my dog. I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. What did you say?”

Customer: “Your cleaning gal traumatized my dog and has made her suffer all day. I want my money back!”

Me: *at this point I’m concerned about the dog since it is a newer girl I don’t know* “I’m sorry, but I need to ask what she was doing to traumatize your dog. Did she hurt it? Should I make a report?”

Customer: “No. She dropped my precious baby-dog’s toy in the toilet after she cleaned it, and my poor baby was in the bathroom crying to get it back. She is traumatized!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, are you sure that the dog didn’t put it in the toilet itself while trying to get a drink?”

Customer: “She is a PRIZED POMERANIAN! She wouldn’t ever dream of drinking out of the toilet! Now, I demand my refund! I have to make her an appointment with the therapist!”

Me: “No, ma’am. I cannot issue a refund because your dog dropped its toy in the toilet. However if the cleaning was unacceptable, I can come out and—”

Customer: “No, the cleaning was fine. I demand my refund within 24 hours, and I will be calling the Better Business Bureau about your ‘business’!” *click*

(My boss laughed for a solid five minutes before she could even say anything.)

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Taking Account Of The Name And Number

| Austria | Bizarre

(I work at the accountancy department in an office. The telephone rings.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name]. Good morning.”

Caller: “Hello, Mrs. [My Name]. We had a talk yesterday.”

Me: “Okay, I do not remember our conversation. What was it about?”

Caller: “I called you yesterday and we talked about the confirmation.”

Me: *absolutely not remembering said conversation* “Okay, ma’am, I do not really know which kind of confirmation you are talking about. Are you sure you were talking to me yesterday?”

Caller: “I’m absolutely sure. Your name is [My Name], right?”

Me: “That’s right, but I cannot remember a conversation about any kind of confirmation.”

Caller: *getting slightly impatient* “We were talking about my husband’s proof of citizenship.”

Me: *completely confused since this is absolutely no part of my job as an accountant* “Are you sure you didn’t talk to somebody in the human resources department?”

Caller: “No, I’m sure I talked to you, Miss [My Name]. You are Miss [My Name] who works at the local city council, right?”

Me: “Oh, the name is right, but you are currently talking to [My Name], finances and accounting, [Company].”

Caller: “Oh, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m absolutely sure. You may have dialed the wrong number.”

Caller: “But a nice lady put me through to you!”

Me: “I assume you said you wanted to be put through to Miss [My Name], so our receptionist put you through to me since this is my name.”

Caller: “Okay, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Bye.”

Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. Bye.”

(I looked up the phone number of the city council and it is completely different from my company’s phone number. I have no clue how this happened.)

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Actually Looking Forward To Monday

| Idyllwild, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Popular

Caller: “Hello. I’m trying to plan for the upcoming holidays and I don’t have a calendar. I need to know what day of the week Easter Sunday is on this year.”

Me: *thinking she was looking for the date* “It’s on April 8th.”

Caller: “I know the DATE, but what day of the WEEK is it?”

Me: “What day of the week is Easter SUNDAY?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Is that a trick question, ma’am?”