(Customer service desk cashiers have to answer every incoming phone call to the store. It’s frustrating because we have a constant flow of customers that we have to still ring out or assist while on the phone with another customer.

On this particular day, our tech department is being run by two guys, both with customers, and a line ten-deep of customers waiting to be helped. There is absolutely no point in patching a call through to them at this point, so either I’ve been taking messages or people have decided to call back later. In-store customers always take precedence over people on the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] in [Town]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Can I speak to someone in the tech department?”

Me: “I’m sorry, they’re both tied up right now. May I take a message?”

Caller: “No, I’ll call back.”

(I never recommend this, as the tech department tends to be backed up with customers. Each customer takes several minutes to service even if it’s a simple task, some taking far longer, and they are still expected to somehow help customers shopping on the floor. The setup is pretty stupid, honestly.

About an hour later, my manager on duty is standing on the side of my L-shaped service desk looking at paperwork, about two feet away from me when the phone rings. I answer it, delivering my standard speech.

The same lady from the earlier phone call has called back; however, the tech department is still about ten people deep — different people, but still.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but they’re still very busy over there.”

(The lady starts screaming into the phone.)

Caller: “This is ridiculous! Every time I call here I get the same bulls*** about them being too busy to answer the phone! And then no one ever calls back! I am getting sick and tired of calling and calling and calling and never getting an answer!”

Me: “I’m sorry. They are doing their best to help the customers in the store; they can’t answer the phone while—”

Caller: “That’s the same old story! Why can’t they take the time to answer my call?! I’m a customer, too! I deserve help!”

(My manager glances up at this point, making a face like, “What the h*** is all that yelling about?” I reply to the caller calmly but firmly.)

Me: “You don’t need to scream at me, ma’am. I cannot force them to answer the phone, and as I have stated, they are servicing a long line of customers in the store as fast as they can.”

Caller: “I’M NOT SCREAMING!”

(After a bit of a pause, suddenly much quieter.)

Caller: “I’ll just come in after work.”

(She hangs up.)

Manager: “What the h*** was her problem? Doesn’t she know what busy means?”

(I could have gotten in a lot of trouble with the general manager for talking to a customer like that, but it took me a few years in retail to develop the attitude that I am not a child and I will not be treated like one by management, and I am not a punching bag for customers. The cashier is literally the last person you should yell at when you’re angry about something they have no control over.)

I used to work for an office supply store a few years ago. This has always been one of the most amusing and confusing things that happened to me there.

I was working the register when a man came in with his young daughter. He was carrying a decently large box full of printer ink and wanted to return it all. Now, printer ink is expensive enough that we are extra cautious with returns — it can’t be open, etc. — but for any kind of returns at this store, we need a receipt. I asked him for one and he said he didn’t have one.

After some back and forth and attempting to explain that I couldn’t make the return without a receipt, I expected the next step to be him angrily demanding to see my manager, who also would have refused to return multiple hundreds of dollars’ worth of ink with no proof of purchase. Instead, he picked up the box and told his daughter they were leaving. 

Over his shoulder, as he went out the door, he told me, “If you won’t let me return this here, I’ll just go return it to [Competitor Store]!”

I’m still confused as to why he thought that was a good final word to have in this.

When I work in promotions, I am paid to go to random stores and promote certain electrical goods. I am not sales-based, just there to inform customers on certain choices, etc. This month I am working on printers. I was a printer technician in a previous job, so this is easy.

Me:
“Hello, sir and madam, how can I help you today?”

The customer explains what they want. I show them a range of different machines that fit their needs and which have reasonable costs in replacement inks in the store. The customer picks the desired item and I begin to carry it to the till for them.

Customer:
“Do I get a discount?”

Me:
“Unfortunately, no.”

I point to the big sign in front of us, which I showed them five minutes ago.

Me:
“However, as the big display says, the item is discounted already from its original price as it is on a promotional offer. We are currently cheaper than [Major Online Retailer] and other local retailers.”

They are just buying a £50 printer, nothing else. I know the manager and I know his store policy. If they were buying a lot more, then yes, he would give a discount.

Customer:
“Go ask your manager.”

Me:
“Sure, no problem.”

I carry the item to the service information desk, where the manager is standing.

Me:
“[Manager], a customer wants to know if there is a discount on this item. I have told them, unfortunately, there is not one available as it is heavily discounted already as it is on promotion.”

Manager:
“Yup, you’re correct.”

I return to the customer.

Me:
“I have spoken to the manager and he has said sorry, but unfortunately, there is not an added discount to this item due to the fact it is already on a promotional offer.”

Customer:
“Well… I do not think that is acceptable. On the TV show Don’t Get Done, Get Dom he gets discounts all the time; why can’t I?”

Me:
“Quoting a TV show that deals with retail does not entitle you to a discount.”

The customer stormed off. Don’t Get Done, Get Dom is a TV show on the BBC where a man called Dominic Littlewood takes on some of the biggest names in town to sort out the domestic disasters of frustrated homeowners.

(I work in the technology department in my store selling and repairing computers. All the computers we sell come with some kind of manufacturer warranty, usually for one year, but we also sell extended warranties for what the manufacturer doesn’t cover, and we have a 30-day return policy. One day, a lady comes in with a laptop she bought.)

Customer: “I bought this laptop from you guys eight months ago and now the screen isn’t working. It’s still under the warranty.”

(I put the laptop on the counter and start diagnosing it.)

Me: *after checking it out* “Yes, it does look like this would be covered by the manufacturer, so they should be to either repair it or get you a new one.”

Customer: “Good, now do you have this in stock to exchange?”

Me: “Uh, we do, but you’d have to go through the manufacturer to use your warranty.”

(Suddenly, her mood turns sour.)

Customer: “What do you mean? I bought it here and the price tag said it came with a warranty! You should take care of this here! Do you not stand by your products?!” 

Me: “Well, the price tag says it comes with a manufacturer’s warranty, meaning the manufacturer will repair any defects or such. [Store] can only cover the repair or replacement if you got our protection plan or if it’s within our return policy which is 30 days. We can sometimes stretch this out to 90 days, but eight months is too far out, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Are you telling me this laptop is just junk now? How could you advertise a warranty and not back up your products?!”

Me: ” I’m not saying that; I’m just trying to explain the laptop came with a manufacturer’s warranty that has to be done through the manufacturer. The manufacturer would repair your laptop and send it back good as new. You would just have to give them a call and they would take care of everything for you. “

Customer: “This is outrageous! I will never shop here again and will buy my computers somewhere else from now on!”

(She then left in a huff while I was standing there thinking that wherever she buys her next computer, it’s going to come with the same warranty.)

(I recently started working for the tech department of an office supply chain store, and I quickly started to learn that the customers who need to buy software and hardware for their computers aren’t always the brightest bulbs of the bunch.)

Customer: “I am looking for MS Office.”

Me: “Sure, right this way.”

(I start to lead the customer toward the software section.)

Me: “Just out of curiosity, what are you going to be using it for? For work, or for college…?”

Customer: “HP.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “On an HP laptop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. My mistake. I was actually wondering what you were going to be using it for?”

Customer: “MS Office.”

(I almost facepalm and rub my eyes as I sigh, trying to hide my frustration.)