Expiration Explanation

| USA | Right | August 22, 2016

(I have a customer who wants to return a task chair she’d purchased for $39.99 because it is broken. She proudly tells me she still has her receipt. It is dated FOUR YEARS earlier.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return policy is 30 DAYS, and unfortunately the manufacturer’s warranty wouldn’t have been more than a year.”

Customer: *very upset* “Well, I insist you should give me a refund or a new chair. I kept my receipt! I should be able to get a refund or a return since it’s broken!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but our return policy is only 30 days and your receipt says you purchased this four years ago.”

(Now, if I bought a chair for $40, sat in it for four years, and it broke, I’d feel like I got my money’s worth, but not this lady.)

Customer: “This is just so unfair! I drove two hours to bring this broken chair back to the store. It’s going to cost me $80 in gas round trip!”

(This was a FORTY DOLLAR chair. Even if we HAD been able to give her a refund, she would have been in the hole forty dollars…)

Single Word Score

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Working | August 15, 2016

(I’m a manager in an office supply store. During slow times, the employees are permitted to chat back and forth as long as they are keeping busy at the same time. I happen to be up near the registers, sorting some containers, when a conversation starts up. I crack a joke, and one of my coworkers replies with this gem:)

Coworker: “Haha! That’s like something you’d have to look up in the Scrabble Book!”

Me: “The Scrabble Book? Are you talking about a dictionary?”

Coworker: “Oh! Yeah, the dictionary!”

Can’t Break Free Of The ‘Get One Free’ Cycle

| ON, Canada | Right | July 24, 2016

Customer: “That’s wrong; the photo paper is buy one get one free.”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Then why is it coming up at $17?”

Me: “Because that’s how much the photo paper is. It’s $17 each but you got two for $17.”

Customer: “No, it’s $11.”

(I ask my coworker to check the sign for me.)

Customer: “And it’s supposed to be buy one get one free!”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

(My coworker calls me to say that the sign says FROM $11 so I explain that to the customer, but he doesn’t understand, so I take him to the aisle to show him.)

Me: “See, this sign advertising the buy one get one free, is saying that the prices START at $11. That doesn’t mean they are all $11. The paper you picked has its own sign here, see? It says it’s $17.”

Customer: “But it says $11 on this sign! They lie!”

Me: “No, it says FROM $11. That means that the photo paper on for Buy One Get One Free is $11 or more. The one you picked is $17.”

Customer: “And it isn’t buy one get one free?”

Me: Yes, it is. All the [Brand] photo paper packs are buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Well which one is $11?”

Me: “The 4×6. You have 8×10.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just get one, then.”

Me: “Why would you only get one? It’s buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Because you said it wasn’t!”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I just said that it wasn’t $11.”

Customer: “NO! You told me that the paper I wanted wasn’t buy one get one free!”

Me: “I never once said that. I told you repeatedly that the paper you wanted was still buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

Tax Is Never Rewarding

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | May 27, 2016

(A customer is buying two reams of paper for $10.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I do. My phone is [phone number].”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Your total is $10.83.”

Customer: “Why are you charging me 83 cents?”

Me: *I want to look at him like he’s dumb* “Taxes?”

Customer: “Then what is that rewards card for? Shouldn’t it take off the taxes?”

Surveying For Better Customers

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | April 14, 2016

(Our store offers a customer service survey to every customer. It’s printed on their receipts. We try to emphasize that customers rate our level of service, and not things which are beyond our control, such as prices or which stores carry what items. The survey takes a couple of minutes to complete, tops. I’m checking our store’s current rating when I read the following…)

Survey Text: “Please tell us why you were not satisfied with your visit.”

Customer Response: “THIS SURVEY IS TOO LONG! Two out of five stars.”

Me: “Err… hey, [Coworker]? Did this woman seriously rate our customer service as a ‘two’ because the survey was too long?”

Coworker: “Yeah, and what’s really ridiculous is that she told me how great [Cashier] was for helping her try to recover her password information for her online account before she left!”

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