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Insert Several Clapping Emoji Here

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2021

I am shopping for supplies for a charity I help run. There is one other customer in the same aisle as me: a young woman in a polo and dark pants. Employees of this store wear a different color polo and khaki pants. Another customer turns down the aisle and makes a beeline for the young woman.

Customer: “You. Where are your [product]s? I’ve been all over and I can’t find it. Your store is horribly organized.”

Young Woman: “Oh, I don’t work here, but I think—”

Customer: *Cutting her off* “I insist that you show me where they are, now! I am in quite a hurry!”

The young woman abruptly claps her hands several times, right in the other customer’s face. She looks startled and stops talking.

Young Woman: “Li-sten! I. Don’t. Work. Here.”

Customer: “Uh… but I need—”

Young Woman: “I. Don’t. Work. Here.”

She clapped a couple more times when the customer tried to speak, and finally, the customer slunk off to find someone who actually worked there. I gave the young woman a golf clap and we shared an eye roll before we both got back to shopping.

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Jew You See What I See?, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2021

It is the middle of our back-to-school season, and I recently acquired a second job teaching Sunday School at a local synagogue. I am nearing the end of a transaction with a customer, who is purchasing several of our weekly sale items.

Customer: “You have such great sales! We already got our school supplies for the year, but at these prices, I just want to stock up!”

Me: “Yeah, our back-to-school prices are pretty great. I’m a student, and I actually just got a teaching position, so I stocked up on a bunch of supplies myself. Some for me and some for my classroom!”

Customer: “Oh! That’s amazing! What do you teach?”

Me: “I teach Hebrew and Torah School at [Synagogue].”

Customer: “Wow! That’s so great! But…”

She pauses to give me a knowing glance.

Customer: “Do you believe in Jesus yet?”

Me: “Actually, I’m Jewish, and belief in Jesus isn’t a part of Judaism.”

Customer: “Well, you need to believe in Jesus if you’re going to be teaching religion.”

Me: *A little tentatively* Well, ma’am, I am Jewish and will be teaching Jewish children, and Jesus isn’t actually a part of our religion.”

She smiles knowingly and reaches out to put her hand on my wrist.

Customer: “It’s okay. You’ll be spending plenty of time at your church once you start teaching. The love of Jesus will come to you eventually.”

She takes her purchases and leaves. I turn to a coworker.

Me: “Did that just happen?”

Jew You See What I See?

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Customers Like This Should Be Illegal

, , , , | Right | December 28, 2020

I work at an office supply store that also has a print shop. This particular day, our lead has called in sick, so I started early and am on my own for the day. We don’t normally do on-the-spot service, and today will be worse; I won’t be able to take as many same-day orders for the evening since I’m alone manning the counter and doing orders.

About halfway through my twelve-hour shift, a lady comes in needing a job done. It’s late afternoon, so it’s pretty dead traffic-wise and she is the only one at my counter.

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. How can I help?

Customer: “Hey. I’m in a pinch and need to file these before the court closes in a few hours. How fast can you get these done?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t take any more on-the-spot orders as we had a sick call and I’m alone all day. If it’s just a straight print job, you’re welcome to use self-serve. Otherwise, you’re looking at tomorrow morning at the earliest.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll do that. I’ll be back.”

I say okay, not knowing what she meant. I probably should have taken a hint that this would turn into more. But in my defense, I am running around and stressed.

After about twenty minutes, she comes over with three copies of a 250-page document.

Me: “Hey, did you get your stuff printed okay? Do you need a box?”

Customer: “A box would be good. I’m going to browse the store until you’re done.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I need them bound. I can’t file them like this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I really can’t. As I explained, I already have a bunch of orders and I’m by myself.”

Customer: “What do you mean? There is no one here!”

Me: “No, there isn’t right now, but we were busy all morning and it took up all my availability, unfortunately. Sorry about that. You could try [Store about fifteen minutes away] since I know they aren’t as busy. I could call them quickly to check, too.”

Customer: “No, I want you to do them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I really can’t at the moment. I’m really sorry.”

Customer: “Well, sorry doesn’t cut it. I’m a f****** lawyer who needs them done now, or I swear I will sue your a**. Get me management!”

I call a manager who comes up immediately.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “I need these files in two hours and your lazy employee here won’t do it! It would only take like ten minutes, and there is no one else here, so I should get priority because I’m here!”

Manager: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we had a few sick calls, so this young lady is alone today.”

Customer: “Don’t give me excuses! You have a duty to do my order or else I’m calling head office!”

I immediately shudder because, for base-level employees, a call to head office, no matter how unjustified and ridiculous, results in a write-up.

Manager: *Sighs* “I suppose we can pull someone from the floor; however, you will have to pay additional labour fees and rush fees.”

I know exactly what my manager is trying to do and I’m interested to see what will happen.

Manager: “So, in total, we are going to charge you twenty for the three binds, and since it will take about twenty minutes to bind them the way you want, twenty dollars in labour fees. Does that work for you?”

Customer: “That’s insane! I’m not paying that much.”

Manager: “Well, there isn’t much else I can do. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re not f****** sorry! I swear, I will sue you all! How dare you treat a representative of the law like this?! I will have all your jobs! I’m never coming back here!”

She then stormed out after pushing all her documents on the floor. About twenty minutes later, she sheepishly walked in and asked for them. I gave them to her and she walked out, saying profanities. She was back a week later and acted like the whole thing had never happened.

Not A Moving Tale

, , , | Right | December 28, 2020

I work cash in an office supplies store. Back-to-school is in full swing and, unfortunately, not only do we have a bunch of sick calls, but we also have a problem with the main cash by the door, so we’ve piled a flyer stand, baskets, and other things on the counter so people know not to go there.

I’m about six feet away cashing people through the second till with my back to the first till. 

It’s super busy, with a never-ending line, and I’m the only cashier on staff. Suddenly, I hear a woman speak behind me. 

Woman: “Excuse me. Can I get some service, please?”

Me: *Turns around* “Oh, sorry, ma’am. The line is actually over here at this till!”

The woman has moved all the piles of things at the broken till and has started unloading her cart full of items onto the counter at this point.

Woman: “Well, how am I supposed to know?! Where’s the sign!?”

Me: “We aren’t allowed to put up unofficial signs, but that’s why the pile of stuff was there blocking it and why I’m at this till.”

Woman: “Sure, it was piled here.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, it was blocked. Someone must have moved it.”

Woman: “Are you implying it was me?!”

Me: “Of course not. I’m just saying I don’t know who moved it.”

Woman: “Okay, well, I don’t want to come over there so you will just have to take my stuff over there and go back and forth.”

She looks smug as if she has just defeated me.

Me: “Certainly, but my first priority is the nice folks in line. Once it’s cleared, I will definitely do that for you.”

I know full well that the line is endless as, at this point, it’s halfway through the store, but having to go back and forth would take longer with all the items she has, and it isn’t fair to the ones who have been waiting long enough already.

After about five minutes, she sighs and finally gets in line. She is next in line just as a coworker comes over to cover my lunch.

Woman: “Um, excuse me! You can’t refuse to serve me!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Woman: “What, is it because I’m black? You refused to serve me at that till and now you don’t want to. Are you racist or lazy? Either way, you clearly shouldn’t work here!”

The lady was getting so worked up and I just froze, not knowing what to say. After screaming and holding up the line again, she left.

A manager came up and asked what happened and I explained. He said we would have to go back together to review my conduct on the surveillance tapes, which I was fine with. It turns out she did move the items blocking the till, and I was obviously cleared of any misconduct.

Red (Folder) Alert!

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

I work for an office supply store. I’m packing our truck when something sounds a bit off. I see a customer, in his forties, opening boxes of plastic file folders, five of four different colors per box. He has a bunch of red file folders out of a box and is trying to close up the boxes.

Me: “Hi. Would you like help with anything?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’m fine.”

After a brief pause:

Me: “Just out of curiosity, why do you have some folders out of the box, and why are you closing up the boxes?”

Customer: “Oh, I just want all red folders, so I’m swapping them out with the other boxes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you can’t do that.”

Customer: “I can’t?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. That’s technically stealing since other customers will want the different colors on the box, so I would have to damage them out. We do sell the plastic folders individually, though, in aisle nine. I’ll help you once I get this all sorted out.”

The customer wandered off as I fixed the three boxes he’d opened, making sure the count was right. By the time I got to the aisle to help out he was nowhere to be seen. Must have found the right items all on his own.