A couple of decades ago, when Compuserve and AOL dial-up were still fairly big, we had a deal that would give people a $400 instant discount on our computers. Most of our PCs were between $400 and $550, so it was possible to get a computer for very little money — sometimes, for almost nothing.

There were two catches. One: It required signing up for a Compuserve account. Two: You had to be locked into a multi-year contract. I’m hazy on the details; it was a monthly fee for three years, I believe, but I forget the monthly fee amount. I do remember that the EXACT amount paid over the course of the contract was $790.24, which was just about double the original discount, meaning you would be paying back TWICE as much as they took off the price.

Now, we weren’t required to give the full details of the “catch”, but we would still tell our customers upfront, so they’d know EXACTLY what they were getting into. Nine times out of ten, they would go through with it anyway.

One old codger came in with his wife. He was determined to show me that he was no sucker.

Customer: “I’ve seen your little ‘deal’ here on the computer discount, and I did the math!”

Me: “Of course.”

I was actually impressed because most of our customers DIDN’T “do the math”, hence the upfront heads-up we gave them.

Customer: “When being locked into a contract for all those months, the money adds up.”

Me: “Yes, to $790.24.”

The old man kept going as if he hadn’t heard me. (Maybe he DIDN’T?)

Customer: “After adding up the monthly fee over that contract—” *looks at his notes* “—it’s quite a big amount!”

Me: “Yeah, I know: $790.24.”

He kept rambling, once AGAIN, as if he wasn’t listening, even though I KNEW he was looking RIGHT AT ME as I spoke!

Customer: “You guys are actually expecting me pay—” *Pauses to look at his notes again*

Me: “Like I said, sir, $790.24.”

Customer: *COMPLETELY ignoring me* “$790.24! That’s nearly double!”

Finally, the codger’s wife sympathetically spoke up.

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, he knows that.”

Customer: “Of course, he knows. I just told him!”

Oh, good grief… The funny thing is, he went through with the sign-up, anyway! I just LOVE time-wasters…

I was recently shopping at one of the big box office supply store branches in town. One of the items I was looking for was a small headset with a microphone for use with my tablet or phone for calls, etc.

I found a suitable one on sale for $30, so I took it to the checkout with my other purchase.

Cashier: “Hi, how are you today? Find everything you need?”

Me: “Yes, fine, thank you.”

Cashier: *Picking up the headphones* “I have to inform you that these headphones are non-returnable once the package is open.”

Me: “Ooookay… I guess that makes sense if people have already worn them and decide to return them. But they are returnable if they are defective, correct?”

Cashier: “No, unless you purchase a protection plan for $7.95.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “They are non-returnable — period — unless you purchase the plan. Then you can return them for exchange or refund if there is a problem.”

Me: “So, if I open the box and they are defective, the store won’t do anything unless I buy the plan which is almost a third of the cost of the item to begin with?”

Cashier: “Correct. It’s policy, and we’ve been instructed to clearly inform every purchaser to avoid confusion.”

Me: “Look, I understand having a policy that bars people from returning used headphones simply because they change their minds, but a defective product is returnable, and the only way to tell is to open the box!”

Cashier: “No, sorry.”

I slid the headphones back to the cashier.

Me: “Then I’m not purchasing these here. If you are collecting feedback, then please inform management that this retailer needs to change policy.”

I paid for and took my other purchase. The receipt clearly stated, “Any opened headphones, earphones, and earbuds cannot be returned at any time.” I understand the rationale of the policy, but unless you have an exception for defective merchandise, forget it.

The kicker to the story? My other purchase was a new budget-priced unlocked phone to replace my wife’s seven-year-old one. It had a return policy of thirty days unopened or fourteen days open box as long as all original contents are in the box. The sales guy assured me we could set the phone up completely and try it out, and if my wife didn’t like it, we could return it for a full refund within the fourteen-day window. And the phone cost six times the price of the headset I wanted.

I used to work at an office supply store. I wasn’t regularly a cashier but filled in when needed.

I was filling in for the regular cashier’s break when a woman came up with a fairly large order. Some things didn’t want to scan, so the whole thing was a bit of pain. The total was $75 more than she expected.

I ran through everything and found it was mostly a box of printer ink driving the price — two had rung up. She said she only had one. I looked through the bags and only found one. The normal cashier had come back, so I had her double-check and she only found one. I deleted the extra from the total and the customer went on her way.

Normally, this is where I find out we got scammed, right? Well, the customer came back the next day, holding the phantom box of printer ink.

Customer: “Yeah, so, you know how this rang up twice? Guess I had two. I, uh, don’t need it. Here.”

I guess there are some honest people still.

I work at an office supply and stationery store. I live in a state which has no sales tax, and people often come here to buy things if they live close enough.

Me: “Hi there! How’s it going today?”

Customer: “I bought this printer in [City in a state which has sales tax] because they didn’t have it in [Home State], and I wasn’t exempted from the sales tax, so the manager at that store told me to return it in [Home State] and I could buy it back from you guys.”

I am dumbfounded, to say the least. I barely travel out of state, but I know enough to say we can’t refund taxes paid to another state. And if that isn’t enough, she didn’t even bring the printer to my store so it’s not like I can even process it in the first place.

I flag down my manager to see what can be done, and I explain everything.

Manager: “We could refund the printer, but the taxes were paid to another state, so we can’t refund it.”

Customer: “So, there’s nothing you can do?”

Manager: “It’s outside our jurisdiction.”

Customer: “Thanks for wasting my time!”

Honestly, she should have ordered online.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 15
Refunder Blunder Double Wonder
Refunder Blunder, Part 60
Taxing Taxing, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 59

Content Warning: Gross

I work in an office supply store. Before my shift one day, an older lady went rushing into the store.

Lady: “Where’s your restroom?”

The front-end cashier directed the customer to the restrooms and continued working. The lady rushed out of the store about ten minutes later.

Lady: “Sorry about the mess.”

The cashier checked the restroom and came back to the general manager.

Cashier: “That older lady who was just here had explosive diarrhea all over the accessible stall.”

General Manager: “Go clean it up, then.”

When I came in later, the cashier told me about the mess and everything and then went home without having cleaned the restroom.

I had a slow night in my department, so I took three pairs of gloves and the strongest cleaning supplies we had. I ended up spending half my shift cleaning the restroom because, by the time I got in there, it was already crusty.

This was one time I had no problem dropping the dime on a coworker’s negligence.