(I work as a supervisor in a retail office supply store. In fact, the company name has the word “Office” in it. A woman and her husband enter my store. Unfortunately, the following exchange takes place far too often…)

Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Wife: “Oh, I’m just looking for some office supplies.”

(The woman’s husband looks sideways at her.)

Me: “Err… ma’am, we’re an office supply store. Everything in here counts as an office supply. Is there anything in particular you needed?”

Wife: *irritated* “Office supplies!”

Me: “Pens and pencils? Toner? Paper? Desk organizers? Calendars?”

Husband: “Honey, we—”

Wife: “No! God! How hard is it to just direct me to the office supplies!?”

(I spread my arms wide and turn to take in the scope of the entire store, which has many clearly labeled sections such as “Writing”, “Desk Accessories” and “Ink & Toner”, all of which are visible from the entrance.)

Me: “Ma’am, without knowing what specific items you’re looking for, I can’t really direct you anywhere.”

Husband: *before his wife can respond* “We’ll just look around by ourselves, thanks.”

(I am at work and this older guy comes in. He looks like Mr Rogers; he is maybe around 75 or 80.)

Customer: “Hello, I was wondering if you can help me find something?”

Me: “Yes, sir, what is it you need?”

Customer: “I need a new p*rn box.”

Me: *trying to retain my laughter* “P*rn box?”

Customer: “Yes, my old p*rn box stopped working and I need to replace it.”

Me: *still holding on laughter* “Okay, what do you mean by ‘p*rn box’?”

Customer: *looks to the left and sees the computers* “Those over there.” *points at the computers*

(I sold him a computer and as soon as he left I ran into the office and laughed for about 25 minutes with my manager.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a notebook with perforated page. Does this have perforated pages? I can’t find where it says.”

Me: *I open the notebook and see that it has perforated pages* “Yes, it does. See?” *points out the perforated lines*

Customer: “No, it’s not perforated because it doesn’t say on the information on the back cover.”

Me: *points out the perforations again* “Just because it doesn’t list it doesn’t mean they are not perforated.”

Customer: “It’s not perforated; I’m going over to another store to find one.”

(She left the store, then came back an hour later and had the exact same interaction with a coworker.)

Me: “…and the last four numbers on your card?”

Customer: *stares at card* “There’s five.”

Me: *smiles* “I just need the last four.”

Customer: “But there’s five. There are five numbers there.”

Me: “…may I see your card?”

(A customer comes to my till with two tote bins stacked inside each other, filled with product.)

Customer: “I have two orders.” *she points to the totes* “This is for my business.” *then she sets a pack of batteries on the counter* “And this is personal.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I scan the totes, and then start taking the items out of them to scan those, too.)

Customer: “No, that’s separate!”

Me: “I thought you said this stuff was for your business, and the batteries were personal?”

Customer: “No, some of the things in the bins are personal!”

(She starts pulling things out and putting them on the counter. I’m confused by this point, though, and don’t keep scanning.)

Me: “Um… okay, so what’s business and what’s personal?”

Customer: “I told you!” *she points to the tote bins again* “This is business!”

Me: “Yes, but what part of it? Because the first time you pointed to the bins, I thought you meant all the stuff inside them, too.”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Okay… so what’s business and what’s personal, then?”

Customer: “THIS is business! THIS is personal!” *she has now grouped three items with the batteries*

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Doesn’t that make sense to you? I don’t want to have one bill for two different expenses!”

Me: “Mhmm.”