Caught In Her World Wide Web

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m a supervisor at a retail office supply company that sells web hosting packages to the public. One of the perks of purchasing through our store and not direct from the web host is that the packages come with a setup feature that allows users who don’t know code to click and drag elements onto their page and create a professional looking site.)

Customer: “I want your deluxe web hosting package.”

Coworker: “That’ll be [total], and here’s a print out telling you how you can get started setting up your website at home! If you have any questions, just call the web host’s customer service number and they’ll be happy to help.”

(The client pays for his purchase, then stands at the register and stares at my coworker.)

Coworker: “Was there something else?”

Customer: “Well, obviously. I need to know when you’re going to design my site for me!”

Me: “Sir, those packages are designed so that customers can set everything up from home. That’s what makes them different from a lot of other companies who sell web hosting packages. You don’t need to know any code to set your site up. It’s really very easy and the web host’s customer service agents can help you if you get stuck!”

(The customer becomes angry.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I had to do it myself! I paid for a website package! You should set it up FOR me!”

Me: “Sir, what you paid for was the web domain, a custom email, and space on the Internet to display your information about your company. We’re just [Store] employees; we aren’t web designers.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! You can’t just sell website packages to people and expect them to do it themselves!”

(This continues in a similar fashion for several minutes, while my co-worker tries to explain the whole idea of the web host’s package and how it’s user-friendly, even for people without any experience with HTML or CSS. Eventually, I make a decision.)

Me: “Look, we generally aren’t supposed to do this, but we’ll make an exception this time. My associates will help you set up the site, but it costs an additional fee for every half hour they spend working on the site setup.”

(Thankfully we had a miscellaneous $29.99 UPC which we were permitted to use for generic computer repairs at the tech repair desk. This customer ended up paying roughly $1 USD per minute for something he could have easily done himself!)

His Head Is In The Clouds

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Do you have Airmiles?”

Customer:“No. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Customer: “Wait, what did you ask me?”

Me: “If you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “Um, no, I asked for Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Wait. What?”

Me: “I asked if you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “No, that’s something different.”

Customer: “Right. How much is it?”

Me: “[Price].”

Customer: “Yes, and I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “We don’t take Aeroplan.”

Customer: “What did you ask for, then?”

Me: “…Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “I didn’t ask for Aeroplan; I said Airmiles. They’re two different rewards cards.”

Customer: “But I don’t have Airmiles.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “So… can you take my Aeroplan card?”

Me: “…No.”

A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

Email Fail, Part 4

, | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m currently in the process of signing up a customer for a rewards card.)

Me: “I’m gonna need an email address to finish the process of signing you up.”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Oh, well maybe your husband does?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, he does. It’s yahoo.com.”

Me: “Ah, well, it needs the first part of the email. Do you have that?”

Customer: “It’s yahoo.com.”

Me: “Right, well it still needs the beginning part. For example, if I were to make an account I might do “[My Name]@yahoo.com” or something like that.”

Customer: “Oh oh, then let’s do “[Husband]@yahoo.com.”

Me: “Well, he would have to create the account like that.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “You can sign up next time, once you get your email created and stuff.” *begins to ring up her items*

Related:
Email Fail, Part 3
Email Fail, Part 2
Email Fail

There Is No App For Stupidity

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am showing a gentleman where our screen protectors are for iPads.)

Me: “Here is where we have all our screen protectors. Now to make sure we get the right one do you know which iPad you have?”

Customer: “Apple.”

Me: “That is the manufacturer, but do you know which model it is? The iPad I,II?, the mini?”

Customer: “Um, Apple?”

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