icon_crazyrequests

Expiration Explanation

| USA | Crazy Requests

(I have a customer who wants to return a task chair she’d purchased for $39.99 because it is broken. She proudly tells me she still has her receipt. It is dated FOUR YEARS earlier.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return policy is 30 DAYS, and unfortunately the manufacturer’s warranty wouldn’t have been more than a year.”

Customer: *very upset* “Well, I insist you should give me a refund or a new chair. I kept my receipt! I should be able to get a refund or a return since it’s broken!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but our return policy is only 30 days and your receipt says you purchased this four years ago.”

(Now, if I bought a chair for $40, sat in it for four years, and it broke, I’d feel like I got my money’s worth, but not this lady.)

Customer: “This is just so unfair! I drove two hours to bring this broken chair back to the store. It’s going to cost me $80 in gas round trip!”

(This was a FORTY DOLLAR chair. Even if we HAD been able to give her a refund, she would have been in the hole forty dollars…)

icon_extrastupid

Can’t Break Free Of The ‘Get One Free’ Cycle

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “That’s wrong; the photo paper is buy one get one free.”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Then why is it coming up at $17?”

Me: “Because that’s how much the photo paper is. It’s $17 each but you got two for $17.”

Customer: “No, it’s $11.”

(I ask my coworker to check the sign for me.)

Customer: “And it’s supposed to be buy one get one free!”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

(My coworker calls me to say that the sign says FROM $11 so I explain that to the customer, but he doesn’t understand, so I take him to the aisle to show him.)

Me: “See, this sign advertising the buy one get one free, is saying that the prices START at $11. That doesn’t mean they are all $11. The paper you picked has its own sign here, see? It says it’s $17.”

Customer: “But it says $11 on this sign! They lie!”

Me: “No, it says FROM $11. That means that the photo paper on for Buy One Get One Free is $11 or more. The one you picked is $17.”

Customer: “And it isn’t buy one get one free?”

Me: Yes, it is. All the [Brand] photo paper packs are buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Well which one is $11?”

Me: “The 4×6. You have 8×10.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just get one, then.”

Me: “Why would you only get one? It’s buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Because you said it wasn’t!”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I just said that it wasn’t $11.”

Customer: “NO! You told me that the paper I wanted wasn’t buy one get one free!”

Me: “I never once said that. I told you repeatedly that the paper you wanted was still buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

icon_money

Tax Is Never Rewarding

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer is buying two reams of paper for $10.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I do. My phone is [phone number].”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Your total is $10.83.”

Customer: “Why are you charging me 83 cents?”

Me: *I want to look at him like he’s dumb* “Taxes?”

Customer: “Then what is that rewards card for? Shouldn’t it take off the taxes?”

icon_money

All Or Nothing

| Roanoke, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(A new general manager started a week ago. There is one customer who will often come to our to use the printing services. He has big orders pulled together, then returns a week later, looks at some of the order, pays for some of it and takes what he wants, leaving the remainder untaken and unpaid. The new general manager sees fit to change this.)

Guy:“I have this order I need done as soon as possible, I’ll return next week to take care of it.”

General Manager: “Certainly; however, we’re going to have to ask that you clear your balance first.”

Guy: “Clear my balance? What the h*** are you talking about?!”

General Manager: “Well, sir, you’ve been using the printing services for quite awhile, and it appears that you’re only picking up parts of your orders, leaving the rest here. Paying for what you want, leaving the rest. That isn’t happening anymore. If you want an order, we’re happy to make it for you, but you’re paying for all of it.”

Guy: “That’s bull-s***! I’ve been coming here for YEARS and no one has ever given me that type of attitude. I demand to speak to your manager!”

General Manager: *smiling* “Sir, I AM the new general manager. As I’ve said, you’ve been coming for YEARS and have left us with several hundred dollars worth of unpaid work, which is loss for us. Your total for all the work yet to be unpaid is $XXX.XX and that will be paid before any further work is completed.”

Guy: “No, forget this. Screw you. This is ridiculous. I’ve been a paying customer for years and you want to treat me this way?! You’ve lost my business!”

(The guy proceeds to storm out of the store. About three hours later, he calls back to further harass the general manager. Among the conversation was this particular line:)

Guy: *on phone* “And I’ll have you know, I was so upset, I had to come home and take two Valium to calm down!”

(That general manager is still, to this day, my hero.)

Caught In Her World Wide Web

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m a supervisor at a retail office supply company that sells web hosting packages to the public. One of the perks of purchasing through our store and not direct from the web host is that the packages come with a setup feature that allows users who don’t know code to click and drag elements onto their page and create a professional looking site.)

Customer: “I want your deluxe web hosting package.”

Coworker: “That’ll be [total], and here’s a print out telling you how you can get started setting up your website at home! If you have any questions, just call the web host’s customer service number and they’ll be happy to help.”

(The client pays for his purchase, then stands at the register and stares at my coworker.)

Coworker: “Was there something else?”

Customer: “Well, obviously. I need to know when you’re going to design my site for me!”

Me: “Sir, those packages are designed so that customers can set everything up from home. That’s what makes them different from a lot of other companies who sell web hosting packages. You don’t need to know any code to set your site up. It’s really very easy and the web host’s customer service agents can help you if you get stuck!”

(The customer becomes angry.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I had to do it myself! I paid for a website package! You should set it up FOR me!”

Me: “Sir, what you paid for was the web domain, a custom email, and space on the Internet to display your information about your company. We’re just [Store] employees; we aren’t web designers.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! You can’t just sell website packages to people and expect them to do it themselves!”

(This continues in a similar fashion for several minutes, while my co-worker tries to explain the whole idea of the web host’s package and how it’s user-friendly, even for people without any experience with HTML or CSS. Eventually, I make a decision.)

Me: “Look, we generally aren’t supposed to do this, but we’ll make an exception this time. My associates will help you set up the site, but it costs an additional fee for every half hour they spend working on the site setup.”

(Thankfully we had a miscellaneous $29.99 UPC which we were permitted to use for generic computer repairs at the tech repair desk. This customer ended up paying roughly $1 USD per minute for something he could have easily done himself!)

Page 1/812345...Last