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Can’t Break Free Of The ‘Get One Free’ Cycle

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “That’s wrong; the photo paper is buy one get one free.”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Then why is it coming up at $17?”

Me: “Because that’s how much the photo paper is. It’s $17 each but you got two for $17.”

Customer: “No, it’s $11.”

(I ask my coworker to check the sign for me.)

Customer: “And it’s supposed to be buy one get one free!”

Me: “It is buy one get one free.”

(My coworker calls me to say that the sign says FROM $11 so I explain that to the customer, but he doesn’t understand, so I take him to the aisle to show him.)

Me: “See, this sign advertising the buy one get one free, is saying that the prices START at $11. That doesn’t mean they are all $11. The paper you picked has its own sign here, see? It says it’s $17.”

Customer: “But it says $11 on this sign! They lie!”

Me: “No, it says FROM $11. That means that the photo paper on for Buy One Get One Free is $11 or more. The one you picked is $17.”

Customer: “And it isn’t buy one get one free?”

Me: Yes, it is. All the [Brand] photo paper packs are buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Well which one is $11?”

Me: “The 4×6. You have 8×10.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll just get one, then.”

Me: “Why would you only get one? It’s buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Because you said it wasn’t!”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I just said that it wasn’t $11.”

Customer: “NO! You told me that the paper I wanted wasn’t buy one get one free!”

Me: “I never once said that. I told you repeatedly that the paper you wanted was still buy one get one free.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

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Tax Is Never Rewarding

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer is buying two reams of paper for $10.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I do. My phone is [phone number].”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Your total is $10.83.”

Customer: “Why are you charging me 83 cents?”

Me: *I want to look at him like he’s dumb* “Taxes?”

Customer: “Then what is that rewards card for? Shouldn’t it take off the taxes?”

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All Or Nothing

| Roanoke, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(A new general manager started a week ago. There is one customer who will often come to our to use the printing services. He has big orders pulled together, then returns a week later, looks at some of the order, pays for some of it and takes what he wants, leaving the remainder untaken and unpaid. The new general manager sees fit to change this.)

Guy:“I have this order I need done as soon as possible, I’ll return next week to take care of it.”

General Manager: “Certainly; however, we’re going to have to ask that you clear your balance first.”

Guy: “Clear my balance? What the h*** are you talking about?!”

General Manager: “Well, sir, you’ve been using the printing services for quite awhile, and it appears that you’re only picking up parts of your orders, leaving the rest here. Paying for what you want, leaving the rest. That isn’t happening anymore. If you want an order, we’re happy to make it for you, but you’re paying for all of it.”

Guy: “That’s bull-s***! I’ve been coming here for YEARS and no one has ever given me that type of attitude. I demand to speak to your manager!”

General Manager: *smiling* “Sir, I AM the new general manager. As I’ve said, you’ve been coming for YEARS and have left us with several hundred dollars worth of unpaid work, which is loss for us. Your total for all the work yet to be unpaid is $XXX.XX and that will be paid before any further work is completed.”

Guy: “No, forget this. Screw you. This is ridiculous. I’ve been a paying customer for years and you want to treat me this way?! You’ve lost my business!”

(The guy proceeds to storm out of the store. About three hours later, he calls back to further harass the general manager. Among the conversation was this particular line:)

Guy: *on phone* “And I’ll have you know, I was so upset, I had to come home and take two Valium to calm down!”

(That general manager is still, to this day, my hero.)

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