Ready To Giga-Bite Your Head Off

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2019

Customer: “I need the cheapest flash drive you have.”

Me: “Okay. If you follow me, I’ll show you what we have. There a few on sale right now. How big do you need it to be?”

Customer: “The cheapest one.”

Me: “Yes, but how much space do you need for files? The price—“

Customer: “You’re not listening. The cheapest one.”

(With our flash drives, there’s the least expensive, and there’s the best value per gigabyte, so I’m not just bugging him; the best deal depends on how many files he has. But he seems to be losing his temper, so I give up.)

Me: “Well, I think the cheapest is [Brand]. It’s $12.75, and it’s 16GB.”

Customer: *irritably* “Well, I have 25 files to save and they’re 5GB each. I need the cheapest flash drive.”

Me: “Okay, so, you’ll just do multiple transfers.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

Me: “Put some files on the drive, save them to the new computer, clear the flash drive, and repeat.”

Customer: “NO. I need to do it in one try!”

(Silence.)

Me: “So, we have a sale on this 120GB drive for $45…”

Customer: “You said it was $12.75! I need to save all my files on it!”

(I left him angrily muttering to himself about how he needed the cheapest drive, which was supposed to hold 100GB of files, but cost the same as a 12GB drive.)

Taking Stock Of Ridiculous Requests

, , , | Right | April 1, 2019

(A customer comes up to me asking if we carry a particular item.)

Me: “I know for sure that we do. Were you having trouble finding it?”

Customer: “No, I found it, but it says it’s out of stock.”

Me: “Okay, let me grab the tag so I can look up the SKU and see when we have more coming in.” *does that* “So, it looks like we’re expected to get more in next week, but that’s not guaranteed. When do you need it for?”

Customer: “Yesterday.”

Me: *fake laughing a bit* “Okay. So, would you like me to see if any other stores have any? I can get them to put it on hold for you.”

Customer: “No, I’m not driving out of town for it.”

Me: “Okay, then the next fastest way to get it is to order it online. We have a way to do that in store if you like.”

Customer: “No, I need it today.”

Me: “Okay, well, we don’t have any, unfortunately. So, if you need it today, I can have one put aside for you in [Nearby Town], or you could check [Major Retailer]?”

Customer: “No, I’m not going to [Major Retailer]. I need it now.”

Me: “Okay. I’m not sure what you would like me to do. We don’t have any.”

Customer: “I want you to have it in stock!”

Me: “I understand that, but we don’t.”

Customer: “Yeah, and that’s pretty ridiculous, isn’t it? You don’t even carry this popular item.”

Me: “We do carry it. We’ve just sold out of them. Because other people bought them… because they’re popular.”

Customer: “You’d think you guys would be more on top of your game, then! You should be ordering things way sooner than you are if you know how popular they are!”

Me: “We actually don’t do any ordering ourselves; it’s all automated. When stock gets to a certain number, a new order gets put in on its own.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Customers Cooperating Over Carbon And Copies? Cool!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(I’m at work one day when a gentleman comes up to me and asks where he can find carbon paper. For an item that gets purchased or inquired about relatively often, the company provides us only with one option: a hundred sheets for about $22.)

Customer #1: “Geez, that’s awfully expensive. I only need a few sheets; do you have anything smaller?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t. We may have something online, but as for in the store, this is it.”

Customer #1: “I better call my wife and see what she wants to do.”

Me: “Okay, let me know if you need anything. I’ll be right over at the copy center.”

(I walk away to let him figure out what he wants to do, and I head over to the copy center to help them out. A few minutes later, another man approaches me and asks if we have any carbon paper. I lead him over to where the first customer is still staring at the paper and holding his phone.)

Customer #2: “It’s that expensive? Wow… Do you have a different quantity? I only need a few sheets!”

Customer #1: *before I could answer* “I know! I’m in the same boat!”

Customer #2: “Well, how many sheets do you need?”

Customer #1: “Maybe about ten.”

Customer #2: “I only need about five… Do you want to split the cost and the paper?”

Customer #1: “That’s a great idea!”

(The two customers headed up to the front with their joint purchase, split the pack in half after they paid, and went on their merry ways. Excellent timing for both of them, I guess!)

Unfiltered Story #142791

, , , | Unfiltered | March 8, 2019

So it’s my last last working at a popular office supply store since it’s the last day of the store as well. After closing time a customer comes to the door and the conversation goes like this

Customer: you guys closed? I just wanna return something it will be quick
Me: yea were closed….forever
customer: oh really? Can I come in and return this? I’ll be quick
me: when I say we are closed I mean all our registers are closed and we can’t do a return but there are other stores nearby that can help you.
customer: I don’t understand why you can’t help me. Cmon lady!
Me: sorry sir I cant, closes door

Wish You Could Erase This From Memory

, , | Right | March 5, 2019

(I work in an art store that also sells office supplies. Almost everything has many varieties, so it’s easier just to refer to brands or purposes when customers are vague. Some people don’t know enough to even be vague. I’m working the register when this exchange happens.)

Customer: *walks up to the counter with two packs of pencil-top erasers*

Me: “Hi there. How are you tonight?”

Customer: “Fine. I need some help finding an eraser.”

Me: “All right, what kind do you need? We have—“

Customer: *gesturing at the pencil-top erasers* “I was looking for a big eraser, like these, but only one of them.”

Me: “You mean for a pencil-top eraser?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need an eraser, but bigger and just one of them.”

Me: *noticing she hasn’t specifically told me what kind of eraser she needs, I take a guess* “I don’t think we have pencil-top erasers in singles, but I can call someone up to double—“

Customer: *becoming irritated* “No, not a pencil-topper. I’m looking for a big rectangle eraser. You know, a rectangle?” *traces a rectangle in front of my face with her fingers*

Me: *taken slightly aback* “Oh, my apologies, we have some white and pink pearl erasers behind you; would those do?”

Customer: “Ugh, no, I’m looking for a big rectangle, just…” *big huff* “Forget it.”

(She turns away and walks right into my coworker, and starts off a similar conversation.)

Customer: “I don’t think he knows what erasers are.”

(After hitting most of the notes our own conversation had, she’s led by my coworker to the aisle right in front of the register.)

Coworker: “You mean these pink and white pearl erasers right here?”

Customer: “That’s exactly it!”

(They return to the counter.)

Customer: “See, this one right here. This is what I was talking about.” *brandishing the eraser in her hand*

Me: “Yes, that’s the white pearl I referred to.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t have any idea what that is. I don’t work here.”

(I do, but I guess six months isn’t enough to know what erasers are.)

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