Put Your Mind To Rest(room)

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work in an office with no public restroom. We have five ‘no public restroom’ signs posted, including one at customer eye level at each desk, and a huge one on the restroom door. A customer gets up from my desk and walks to the restroom door.)

Me: “Oh, sir, that is not a public restroom.”

Customer: “But it says restroom on the door.”

Me: “No, sir, it says ‘No Public Restroom.'”

Customer: “Well, where is the public restroom?”

Me: “We don’t have one.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not psychic. How could I have known that?”

The Fall After The Call

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I receive a call from a customer who is upset that they missed the deadline for submitting a particular form. Since we’ve had a lot of requests, they now can’t submit a form until next year. He’s very upset and trying to blame the company for not telling him the deadline was coming up, even though it’s always the same time period every year.)

Customer: “Why is it always so hard to talk to you people?? Why is it I can never speak to you?”

Me: “It’s not that difficult, sir. You called and I answered the call right away.”

Customer: “Is that the BEST you can do?!”

Me: “…”

A Misdial Trial

| USA | Bizarre

(The company I work at often receives calls from people looking for free credit report. When this happens we offer to give them the correct number that they need to reach the right people. Usually when we do this people either say thank you or insist that they’re calling the number they were given originally and that we need to solve their problem.)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: *speaking very angrily* “Hi, I’m calling because there are charges I don’t recognize on my card. I called [Credit Card Company] to dispute them and they said the charges came from [Credit Reporting Company]!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately you’ve called [Company], not [Credit Reporting Company]. I can give you the number you need to reach [Credit Reporting Company], though.”

Caller: “I already have that number! It’s—”

(The caller proceeds to list off the actual number he needs to call to reach Credit Reporting Company. At this point I’m very surprised, and I do my best to continue the call normally.)

Me: “That’s the correct number for [Credit Reporting Company]. Unfortunately, we’re not [Credit Reporting Company]. You—”

Caller: “What?! Well how the hell can that be?”

Me: “Perhaps you dialed the wrong number when making your call?”

Caller: “No, I most certainly did not! I dialed [correct number for Credit Reporting Company]!”

(At this point a coworker tries to jump in to help.)

Coworker: “Do they need the number for [Credit Reporting Company]?”

Me: “He already has it.” *I then address the man directly* “Again, I’m sorry for the trouble but we’re not [Credit Reporting Company].”

Caller: “Well… okay, then.”

(He hangs up very angrily before I can offer to confirm that he has the right number, for his peace of mind.)

Me: “…okay, then.”

Coworker #2: “Someone misdialed us even though they had the right number? That’s a new one!”

(At that point we were all pretty confused, and I felt bad because there was really no way to tell an already irate person that their fingers must have slipped while dialing. We were afraid that he’d hit redial and reach us again, at which point the whole thing would have just been worse. Thankfully, he didn’t – I guess he figured out his mistake on his own!)

Should Have Been Monitoring The Situation More Closely

| Germany | Bizarre, Technology

(We’re a small IT service provider. While we have no hardware in store, we write down customer orders and place an order once enough has accumulated.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name]. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Hello, this is [Customer]. I need a new monitor.”

Me: “No problem. Any specific requests?”

Customer: “I need it to replace my secondary monitor. That’s still a narrow one.”

Me: *knowing the customer actually has a 16:9 and a 4:3 monitor at his computer, he once said he’ll use the latter until it breaks* “All right. So the old one is finally broken?”

Customer: “No, it works fine. But I need a wider one. The narrow one became too small and no longer shows all the symbols on my desktop. Or… can I plug in a third monitor? That would give me even more room.”

They’re Talking Gumbo-Jumbo

| SC, USA | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, I am a travel planner looking for some information for a client of mine and I was wondering if you could help me.”

Me: “I certainly can. What information do you need?”

Caller: “Do you know where they might hold Mardi Gras celebrations?”

(This throws me off a bit, as Mardi Gras isn’t a big thing around here at all, and anyway it had already happened the week before.)

Me: “I don’t see anything on our events calendar. Since Mardi Gras already happened I don’t think we’d see any events until next year, and our members don’t usually plan them so far ahead.”

Caller: *confused, but still pleasant* “All right. Also… do you know of any Cajun churches?”

Me: “Er… we don’t have a huge Cajun culture around here. We do have a significant Gullah Geechee community, but they don’t really have churches that are open to visitors.”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Did I call [My City]?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “I meant to call New Orleans. I am so sorry.”

(We had a good laugh and I was able to give her some information about the city I actually work for. Still one of the best calls I’ve ever gotten.)

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