New Addition To The Millennium Trilogy: The Girl With The Twitter Account

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 7, 2018

(It’s Halloween night. I live in college residence, so a lot of people are trick-or-treating with their neighbours, and milling around to check out each other’s costumes and decorations. I bump into one of my roommate’s friends. She’s dressed a bit punk or goth, but not as a costume.)

Roommate’s Friend: *joking* “I’m dressed as a serial killer.”

Me: *looking at her outfit* “No, you’re dressed as Lisbeth Salander!”

(Lisbeth Salander is the protagonist of the Millennium trilogy, most famously “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”)

Roommate’s Friend: “Yeah! Wait… How did you… Have you been stalking my Twitter?”

Me: *confused* “No?”

Roommate’s Friend: “Then… How did you know I… said that I…”

Me: “I didn’t…”

Roommate’s Friend: “Then how did you know I look like Lisbeth Salander?”

Me: “Because I’ve read the book and seen the movie?”

Roommate’s Friend: “Oh! I thought you were stalking my Twitter, because I literally just posted, ‘If anyone asks, I’m dressed as Lisbeth Salander.'”

Unfiltered Story #109187

, , | Unfiltered | April 22, 2018

(I’m working the closing shift at a frozen yogurt shop. At around 7 pm, the phone rings, and I answer with my usual greeting.)

Me: “Good evening, [Shop Name] [Location], this is [My Name] speaking, how can I help you?”

(The caller sounds like an adolescent or young adult woman.)

Woman: *loudly* “Is this [Shop Name]?”

Me: “Yes, this is [Shop Name] [Location].”

Woman: “Is it healthy there?”

(While people like to consider frozen yogurt and sorbet a healthiER alternative to ice cream, I would hesitate to call our products “healthy”.)

Me: “…Healthy in what regard?”

Woman: “Like, healthier than CC Swirls?”

(CC Swirls is another Canadian frozen yogurt shop, but up to that point I’d never heard of it.)

Me: “Than…what, sorry?”

Woman: “CC Swirls.”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know what that is, so I can’t offer a comparison.”

Woman: “How dare you.”

(I assume she’s joking, and laugh. I’m starting to suspect this is a prank call, but since she isn’t doing any harm and I have nothing better to do, I stay on the line.)

Woman: “I guess it’s probably a bit better.”

Me: “Well, you’re always welcome to come in and check everything out, if you’d like.”

Woman: “Is this Oakville?”

Me: “Yes, we are located in Oakville, at the intersection of [Street Name] and [Street Name].”

Woman: “Good for you.”

Me: “…Thanks?”

Woman: “So are you hiring?”

(We have literally just hired a new employee, and are probably not looking to hire more just yet.)

Me: “I think we may have just hired someone, but we are always happy to take resumes.”

Woman: “Okay. How old do you have to be to work there?”

Me: “I’m not sure how old you have to be to actually work here, but to be given a key for opening or closing you have to be 16 years old.”

Woman: “Okay. I’m 21 –”

(I wonder to myself if she honestly thinks there’s any normal job, let alone a job selling frozen yogurt, whose minimum age requirement is that high.)

Woman: “– and I used to work at –”

(The call suddenly cuts out. Since I’ve known this phone to give us trouble, I don’t know if it was a problem on either of our ends, or if she hung up.)

Me: “Hello? Are you there? …I’m sorry; if you’re there, I’m afraid I can’t hear you, and you’ll have to call back.”

(There is the sound of the call being dropped, and then a dial tone. There were no more calls the rest of the night. I don’t know if it was a prank call or if that woman was just very strange, but it was certainly amusing!)

Unfiltered Story #107803

, , , | Unfiltered | March 26, 2018

Me: “Hi how, are you toda-”

Customer: “THAT’LL BE A SENIOR DISCOUNT”

This happened far too often.

 

Fro-Yo-No-No

, , , , | Right | May 30, 2017

(The frozen yogurt shop I work at is in a plaza, next door to a chicken-themed restaurant. I am working one afternoon when a man rushes in and straight up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: *hurriedly* “Hi, I placed an order with you. I hope it’s ready—”

(I panic a little, as I was not informed of any order, nor did I see one in the freezer, and he sounds a bit desperate. I am about to reply when the man suddenly starts looking all around.)

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t the chicken place.”

Me: *relieved* “No… it isn’t.”

Customer: “Okay, sorry.”

(He leaves to go next door, and I am left wondering how he confused a bright, vibrant frozen yogurt shop with an under-lit, drab chicken place. I guess he was really in a hurry! I hope his order was ready!)