Customer: “I hear you are the go-to girl for computer problems.”
Me: “Yes, I am.” *I scoot over to the computer* “What’s the problem?”
Customer: “I can’t remember my password.”
Me: “I don’t know your password.”
Customer: “So they lied when they told me you knew everything about the computers?”
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Resident: “So are you Chinese or Puerto Rican? It’s hard to tell.”
Me: “I’m Korean.”
Resident: “Oh. Is that like Japan?”
Me: “No, it’s Korea.”
Resident: “Well, that was my next guess. So, do you speak Chinese or Japanese?”
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(At the nursing home where I work, we can sell lunches to visitors, but can’t sell them after 11:00. It’s a bummer, but usually people are understanding.)
Customer: “I need to buy a lunch.”
Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but we can’t sell lunches after 11:00.”
Customer: “Why not? ”
Me: “Well, it’s so that the kitchen knows how many trays to have ready by lunchtime. They start on dinner almost as soon as lunch is served.”
Customer: “Well, I’m hungry.”
Me: “I really am sorry. I wish I could help, but lunch was served two hours ago. We do have a vending machine, and there are a couple of fast food places nearby.”
Customer: “Are you stupid?”
Me: “Sir?”
Customer: “I will sue you guys!”
Me: “I really am sorry.”
Customer: “I will sue you! Your lunch policy is ridiculous! This is what happens when little girls like you work in men’s jobs!”
Me: “A man’s job?”
Customer: “Yes! Since you obviously can’t do it since you’re a fifteen-year-old girl.”
Me: “I’m twenty-one, sir.”
Customer: “Then why aren’t you married?”
Me: “…because my boyfriend hasn’t asked me yet?”
Customer: “You should get married, get out of here, and let a man do your job.”
Me: “…my job as a receptionist?”
Customer: “He’d do it right! I am going to the biggest man here and complaining about your policies!”
Me: “The biggest man here is a woman, sir.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Everyone in our business office is female, and so is our administrator.”
Customer: “This place is doomed!”
(Half an hour later, I ended up buying him a turkey sandwich from a nearby deli when I went out to get my own lunch. Not surprisingly, he didn’t thank me. However, this cloud has a silver lining: I also met his wife, who smacked him upside the head and called him a jacka**.)
This story is part of our Nursing Home Worker roundup!
