Love, And Other Drugs, Part 3

| Romantic | May 31, 2013

(I am working in the kitchen of a nursing home. At lunch time, I serve meals in the dining room. At the same time, a recently hired nurse is delivering meds to residents at lunch. After three times of us both serving the same person at the same time, we have a conversation.)

Nurse: “We have to stop meeting like this.”

Me: “Where would you like to meet? Your place, my place, or a corner bar? I’ll go anywhere.”

(The nurse pauses and takes a good long look at me.)

Nurse: “How old are you?”

Me: “How old do I have to be?”

Nurse: “At least 21.”

Me: “Can you wait two weeks?”

(We started dating soon after, and were happily married for 11 years before she passed away.)

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Keep Your Head High And Your Expectations Hire

| Working | November 20, 2012

(I am applying at a local nursing home for a job. While I am waiting in the lobby for my interview, I see an elderly woman fall to the ground. A nurse helps her up and sits her on a bench, but leaves the elderly woman unattended while she goes to get a wheelchair. The elderly woman, who is bleeding from the eye and clearly disoriented, gets up to walk again. Being the only other person other than the residents around, I try to coax her back to her seat to prevent her from falling again. At this moment, the manager comes out to get me for my interview.)

Manager: “Miss [My Name]? Come with me, please.”

Me: “Um, the nurse has just gone to get this woman’s wheel chair. She just–”

Manager: “Well, yes then. Come with me, please.”

Me: “Well, shouldn’t we—”

(The manager is walking away at this point and the other nurse has arrived with the wheelchair, so I reluctantly leave the woman and follow the manager. We get into the office and the manager closes the door and stares at me.)

Manager: “Well, first of all, I’m going to let it go that you were so rude to me just then.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “You’re here for a job, and you start barking orders at me to get the patient a wheelchair. I felt that this was very rude and unprofessional.”

Me: “I’m… I’m really so sorry. I had absolutely no intention of being rude to you. That patient had just fallen on the floor and was bleeding. The nurse told her to stay seated until she came with her wheelchair. I was just trying to make you aware of it because I didn’t want to leave the poor dear and risk her falling again. She was bleeding!”

Manager: “Yes, well, and that’s another thing! You keep calling her ‘poor thing’ and a ‘patient.’ Here, we call them ‘residents’ or ‘clients.’ And don’t ever call them ‘poor’-anything, because you’ll insult them.”

Me: “I’m so sorry.”

Manager: “Well, it’s fine. I know sometimes you teenagers don’t know how to conduct yourselves in a proper manner in the workplace or with people in authority. It’s to be expected, but you’d better shape up fast.”

(I am 23 years old, married, have 2 children, and have been working since I was 15 years old. However, I choose to let that remark go. After 10 minutes, I realize she is basically looking to hire me on for the summer to work the shifts that she and her coworkers want off. This leaves me as the sole person in the building on certain nights, such as Canada Day.)

Manager: “So, you would be working probably 6 pm to 2 am Canada Day night. You understand that, right?”

Me: “Yes. We were only planning to take the children out in the afternoon anyhow.”

Manager: “…Children? How old are you?”

Me: “I’m old enough to bo married with a five and seven-year-old, and old enough to have been in the workforce full time for the past eight years.”

Manager: “Well, anyway… um… do you feel comfortable handing out medications? Like, to the residents?”

Me: “Well, I’m not certified to, but if we’re talking aspirin and laxatives, I could probably handle that.”

Manager: “Alright, you can start tomorrow night. You’ll be distributing medication to all the residents by yourself on the first night…”

(Despite this offer, I decide after leaving the interview that I really want nothing to do with that establishment. Thankfully, I ace my second interview for another job, and call the first manager to let her know I didn’t want their job.)

Manager: “Why may I ask have you changed your mind?”

Me: “Well, first off, I felt that your lack of concern for your residents was appalling. Your resident was bleeding and clearly confused and you were willing to leave her unattended because you felt I had been rude to you by trying to inform you of the situation. Secondly, you reprimanded me and accused me of being a disrespectful teenager. If you had actually bothered to look at my resume, you would have seen that I have been in the workforce for several years and am out of high school, making your statement unfounded. Thirdly, I felt that you were a little too eager to hire a ‘disrespectful teenager’ with a poor work ethic and zero medical certifications to stay alone with and distribute medications to residents all so that you and your coworkers could enjoy your summer holidays. So, thank you for your time and consideration, but for those reasons I don’t want to be a member of your company or be affiliated with you in anyway.”

Manager: “Yeah, well… don’t even THINK about using us as a reference on your resume!”

Me: “I wouldn’t if I could. Have a nice night.”

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Pass(word) The Buck

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2010

Customer: “I hear you are the go-to girl for computer problems.”

Me: “Yes, I am.” *I scoot over to the computer* “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “I can’t remember my password.”

Me: “I don’t know your password.”

Customer: “So they lied when they told me you knew everything about the computers?”

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Incheon Further Away From The Answer

, , , , , , | Right | August 10, 2010

Resident: “So are you Chinese or Puerto Rican? It’s hard to tell.”

Me: “I’m Korean.”

Resident: “Oh. Is that like Japan?”

Me: “No, it’s Korea.”

Resident: “Well, that was my next guess. So, do you speak Chinese or Japanese?”

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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served By Wives

, , | Right | August 6, 2009

(At the nursing home where I work, we can sell lunches to visitors, but can’t sell them after 11:00. It’s a bummer, but usually people are understanding.)

Customer: “I need to buy a lunch.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but we can’t sell lunches after 11:00.”

Customer: “Why not? ”

Me: “Well, it’s so that the kitchen knows how many trays to have ready by lunchtime. They start on dinner almost as soon as lunch is served.”

Customer: “Well, I’m hungry.”

Me: “I really am sorry. I wish I could help, but lunch was served two hours ago. We do have a vending machine, and there are a couple of fast food places nearby.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I will sue you guys!”

Me: “I really am sorry.”

Customer: “I will sue you! Your lunch policy is ridiculous! This is what happens when little girls like you work in men’s jobs!”

Me: “A man’s job?”

Customer: “Yes! Since you obviously can’t do it since you’re a fifteen-year-old girl.”

Me: “I’m twenty-one, sir.”

Customer: “Then why aren’t you married?”

Me: “…because my boyfriend hasn’t asked me yet?”

Customer: “You should get married, get out of here, and let a man do your job.”

Me: “…my job as a receptionist?”

Customer: “He’d do it right! I am going to the biggest man here and complaining about your policies!”

Me: “The biggest man here is a woman, sir.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Everyone in our business office is female, and so is our administrator.”

Customer: “This place is doomed!”

(Half an hour later, I ended up buying him a turkey sandwich from a nearby deli when I went out to get my own lunch. Not surprisingly, he didn’t thank me. However, this cloud has a silver lining: I also met his wife, who smacked him upside the head and called him a jacka**.)

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