No Wonder Why He Left Her…

| USA | Bigotry

(Working at a home for the elderly, it’s pretty usual that religion is a an everyday topic. On this particular day I am serving one of our more conservative residents. I am a bisexual woman.)

Resident #1: *in regard to the recent upheld ban on gay marriage* “It’s a d*** good thing they aren’t letting those f*** get married. They’ll damn us all to Hell! It’s not Godly!” *to me* “Don’t you think, dear?”

Me: “I think God loves all his children no matter what.”

Resident #1: *shocked look* “You’re one of them aren’t you?!”

(Resident #1 proceeds to throw a pamphlet about finding Jesus at me while quoting bible verses. I don’t really comment as I’m not supposed to with the more senile residents. Another resident sees this and voices her own opinion.)

Resident #2: “Oh, good lord, [Resident #1], won’t you take your cranky bigoted be-hind elsewhere and stop bothering this lovely young lady.”

Resident #1: *wheeling away in terror* “You’ll burn in Hell for supporting her!”

Resident #2: “I’ll be sure to save you a seat on the ride down!” *to me* “Don’t mind her, dear. She’s just mad because her husband left her for a man years ago.”

Me: “I, uh… thank you.”

(Now I always make sure to give Resident #2 extra of her favorite dessert!)

Foul Weather Today

| Norway | Health & Body

(I am a nurse helping a patient using the toilet. He is 92 years old. I come to help him get dressed and off the toilet.)

Me: “So… did you manage to do what you were going to?”

Patient: “There was lots of wind, but no precipitation!”

The Mother Of All Worries

| Norway | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I am assisting a 92-year-old male patient.)

Me: “Come on, young fella, you can do this!”

Patient: “Hah, young? I could have been your father!” *adding mischievously* “Your mother wouldn’t want that, though.”

Yet To Find Your Calling

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I have an elderly patient that has been a little confused due to recent illness…)

Me: “Can I help you with something?”

Patient: “How the h*** should I know?!”

Me: “Well, you put on your call light…”

Patient: “Well, I’m confused! You’re the nurse; it’s your job to know what I need and just do it!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll return if I figure it out…”

A Disability At Having A Disability

| USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in an assisted living facility. Our residents run the range from sharp as a nail to completely senile, and perfectly fit to bedridden. This particular woman, whose health care is paid for by the state, has in her medical records that she cannot stand, cannot use one arm at all, and has limited use of her other. There is nothing wrong with her mentally.)

Me: *forgetting to knock before entering her room* “Hey. Sorry to disturb you. I’m just here to… get your… trash…”

(She’s standing at her sink, washing an apple. We lock eyes, and she slowly lowers herself to the floor.)

Me: “Um…”

Female Customer: “I crawled over, but I can’t get up now.”

Me: “Do you need me to call anyone for help?”

Female Customer: “No. No need to give the nurses extra work. I’ll manage. Would you be all right to come back later?”

Me: “…Sure.”

(Apparently I’m not the first one to catch her. But we could never conclusively prove that she was faking disability.)

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