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IOU One IUD

, , , , , | Working | September 8, 2017

(I’m at the doctor’s office with my mother and five-month-old daughter. Due to having my daughter prematurely, then battling an illness, an infection, and an open wound for two months, I’m finally able to talk to my doctor about how I have healed after my c-section, along with birth control.)

Me: “You sure about this, Mom?”

Mom: “Yes, I had one, and it worked beautifully.”

Me: “I just don’t know…”

Nurse: *walks in*

Me: “I’m a bit nervous to get a IUD.”

Nurse: “Oh, you don’t want that.”

Me: “…I don’t?”

Nurse: “No, those things are hell. They hurt, they ruin your uterus, and they can cause you to lose it. Oh, and they can embed themselves and requires surgery to be removed.”

Me: “W-What?!”

Mom: “Hey!”

Nurse: “Besides, you’re breastfeeding. That’ll keep you from getting pregnant.”

Mom: *dryly* “No… it doesn’t, dear. I got pregnant with my youngest while I was nursing my third child.”

Me: “…No. I want the IUD. And I’m not currently nursing… I don’t produce enough.”

Nurse: “I suggest the pill, or keep your legs shut.” *glares at me*

Me: “Excuse you! For one thing, I don’t do well with pills; I forget them very easily! For another, it doesn’t matter to you what I do with my sex life, let alone what direction my legs go.”

Nurse: “Then get the shot!”

Me: “Um, no. With the shot, I hit up so many negative side effects that it’s just not worth it. May I talk to another nurse?”

Nurse: “No, I’m your nurse. Then just get your tubes tied!”

Me: “No. I am not ready to decide not to have any more children at all at this time, despite being scared to have another. It doesn’t feel right. I want the IUD.”

Nurse: “You do not! I’ll put you down for the shot.” *leaves the room*

Me: “No! Mom!”

Mom: “Here. Take your baby. I have an a** to beat.” *leaves the room*

(I sit in the room for only a few minutes, holding and feeding my daughter, when I hear my mother yelling at another nurse. At this point, I can only assume it is the same one. While that is going on, and my daughter has drained her bottle, my doctor walks in.)

Doctor: “I assume that is your mother.”

Me: “Good call.”

Doctor: “Wow! She is big! Healthy little girl. May I?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Doctor: *holding my daughter* “All right. I see here you want the shot? I thought we agreed on the IUD?”

Me: “We did… apparently the nurse was hell-bent on not letting me get it. She was more than rude, not taking no for an answer, and she scared me with the side effects.”

Doctor: “The side effects really don’t happen often. I’ve yet to see them myself to be honest. I think it’s the best choice for you. Let me go get a different nurse, and we’ll insert the IUD. Here’s your baby. She’s beautiful, and a miracle.”

(I got my IUD, and the nurse wound up fired. Apparently this wasn’t the first time. Nor was it the first time my mother went after a nurse during this whole ordeal. It’s been over a year, and no terrible side effects yet!)

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 11

, , , | Right | November 14, 2016

(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)

Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”

Me: *as I finally hit a vein* “Got it!”

Patient: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Patient: “Not you.”

Me: “A little bit me…”

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 9
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 10


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Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8

, , , , , | Working | March 4, 2016

(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)

Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”

Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”

Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”

Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”

Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”

Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”

Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”

Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”

(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 7


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There Will Be Bloodwork

, , , , | Working | May 13, 2015

(I have a severe aversion to getting bloodwork done. While I know it’s all in my head, I’ve managed to faint and have seizures several times. To make everyone’s life easier when I absolutely need bloodwork done, I make sure to tell whoever is doing it about the problem. USUALLY, they find a way to work with me.)

Me: *explains my problem with bloodwork* “It’d probably be best if I can lie down, if possible.”

Male Nurse: “You’re a grown-up. No one likes needles. You’ll be fine.”

Me: “It’s more than that. I’ve had seizures…”

Male Nurse: “Look, if anything happens, I’ll catch you. Okay?”

Me: “Um… okay…”

(Bloodwork begins. The next thing I remember is everything going black. I wake up on the floor.)

Female Nurse: “Are you okay?!”

Male Nurse: “She’s faking it. No one faints from having blood drawn! She just wanted to lie down. She even asked for a bed.”

Female Nurse: “That’s why  we have a bed.” *to me* “Sweetie, did you know this would happen?”

Me: “I told him I’ve fainted and had seizures from bloodwork, and asked to lie down, so… yes?”

([Female Nurse] helps me up, walks me to the room with a bed, and lies me down, leaving juice at the side table beside me. Once I’m okay to stand up again…)

Female Nurse: “Do you want to try again?”

Me: “Um… can you do it?”

Female Nurse: “Sure. Don’t worry; he’s gone home for the day.”

(I got my bloodwork done, lying down, and managed to not black out, though I still did get lightheaded. Thank you, nice lady nurse.)


This story is part of our Epilepsy roundup.

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They Were Saved

| Friendly | February 17, 2014

(My mom is a nurse. I’m out with her and my big brother to do some shopping. We become witnesses to a car accident. The car loses control and runs down a slope, ramming into a tree. Steam starts spewing from the engine from the impact. Of us three, I’m the physically strongest and my big brother is the only one with a cellphone on him. Mom instantly takes control.)

Me: “Oh, d***!”

Mom: “[My Name], you get that car door open, NOW! We have to get them out!”

Me: “No need to tell me twice!”

Mom: “[Brother], you call an ambulance, post-haste!”

Brother: “On it!”

(I dash to the car and notice three people inside: a man, a woman and a small child who looks like she’s about six or seven years old at most. None seem hurt, but the child is obviously scared. I proceed to quickly open the door to the driver’s seat.)

Me: “Get out! Now!”

Man: “M-My wife… and kid…”

Me: “Not now! Get out!”

(I remove his safety belt and get him out. Mom hurries up to him and leads him away as I enter the car and remove the safety belt from the woman and pull her out through the already open door.)

Woman: “Wait, our baby!”

(The girl’s door is locked, so I ended up smashing the window. Just as I do, fire starts spewing from the engine and I start to worry.)

Me: “Kid, listen here. I know you don’t know who I am. I know it’s scary. But please, just hold on tight. All right?”

(The girl sobs and nods carefully as I remove her seatbelt. I proceed to put my arms around her to help her out, as she’s obviously too scared to move. Just as I stand back up, the woman from earlier starts screaming.)

Woman: “You b******! Hands off my daughter!”

Me: “What? Woman, are you NUTS? I just saved your LIVES!”

Woman: “No, it’s your fault to begin with that we lost control! I know that Jesus Christ would have saved us faster than he did!”

(Multiple onlookers start yelling at the woman, calling her a poor parent.)

Onlooker: “Woman, I saw the entire thing! Your husband lost control of the car and you crashed into a tree! Those three did everything in their power – and then some – to save you all!”

(Another onlooker has been recording everything once confirmed no one was hurt, in case the police would need it.)

Woman: “He didn’t lose control of the car! I’m a mechanic! I just locked the steering wheel! He wouldn’t believe that our Lord would save us, so I had to prove it to him!”

(Mom, who has been helping the ambulance personnel remove the glass stuck in the man’s face, walks over to her upon hearing this.)

Mom: “So you’re saying you risked no less than THREE LIVES just to prove you’re a Godd*** moron!?”

Woman: “How dare you speak the Lord’s name! You filthy heathen! May he strike you down where you stand!”

(I’m roughly a foot taller than my mother and raise my hand straight into the air.)

Me: “If there’s a God, then let him smite me where I stand!”

(Nothing happens and the woman starts yelling profanity at us, telling us how we’re all going to burn in Hell, among other things. My mom sighs deeply as she continues and turns to the woman’s husband.)

Mom: “Are you going to be all right?”

Man: “Can you ask the police to dump her in a jail and throw away the key?”

Mom: Hah! I noticed an onlooker recording it all! So anything she might say, we’ll have proof if she said it or not!”

(Roughly a month later, the woman was sent to jail for endangering lives. As it turns out, she was by no means a mechanic – the car was faulty and they were going to a mechanic to get it fixed. Roughly two weeks after she got sent to jail, the man and his daughter sent a ‘thank you’ card to everyone involved. In mine, it said “I’m grateful that you saved the lives of me and my daughter. And no, I haven’t forgotten my ex-wife was involved there, but frankly, I wanted to divorce her anyway…”)