Might Need To Walk Them Through It

, , , , , | Learning | October 14, 2018

(I’m working part time as a teacher in a nursery school, where the kids are all four or five years old. Today we’re getting the kids to draw around their feet and colour them in so that the parents can hang them on a wall for six months and then shove them in a cupboard.)

Me: “Okay, everyone, can you all take off one shoe and one sock?”

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Okay ,everyone, can you all take off one shoe and one sock on the same foot?”

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Archaeopteryx Tricks

| Learning | September 12, 2016

(I am a precocious child, and learn how to read and write at a very early age, mainly thanks to my father. I’m about five or six years old and in nursery school (kindergarten). During writing lessons, the teacher has us write the obligatory ‘what we did during vacation’ story. Halfway through the lesson, I raise my hand for the teacher’s attention.)

Me: “Miss, how do you spell ‘rhamphorhynchus’?”

Teacher: “[My Name], there’s no such word.”

Me: “Yes, there is. It’s a type of dinosaur bird.”

Teacher: “No, there isn’t. Now get on with your work.”

(Undeterred, I get off my chair and walk to the school library, pick out a dinosaur book I already know they have (I had the same book at home), and walk back to the class. As I walk up to the teacher’s desk I open the book to the correct page and slide it on to her desk, stabbing my finger down on to the page.)

Me: *victoriously* “RHAMPHORHYNCHUS!”

(As the teacher stared at me in shock, I picked up the book and wandered back to my desk to finish my story. I later learned that my father was called into school a few days after and chastised by the teacher for teaching me how to read and write and making her look bad…)

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