Showing Some Restraint While Shopping

| NY, USA | Working | October 16, 2014

(My boyfriend and I are at a popular novelty store that sells certain… bedroom things. We have just picked up a set of restraints and go to the counter to purchase them.)

Cashier #1: “Did you find everything all right today?”

Me: “Yeah, thanks. We’re just getting these.” *sets the box on the counter*

Cashier #1: *turns bright pink* “Uh, um, I’ll just, uh, let me get someone to take of that for you.”

(He scrambles into the back, leaving my boyfriend and me to exchange a confused look. After a moment he returns with another cashier in tow. She takes one look at our purchase and turns on him.)

Cashier #2: “Geez, dude, they’re just restraints! It’s not like they’re buying a vibrator or anything! How do you even work here?!”

(He blushes and stammers an apology and disappears into the back of the store again. Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I are trying desperately to keep straight faces.)

Cashier #2: *to us* “I can ring you folks out. I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know how he’s lasted this long here.”

Boyfriend: *trying not to laugh* “No, that’s fine. Thanks for your help.”

Me: “It’s a good thing we didn’t find a vibrator we liked. That poor kid probably would have died right then and there.”

Meaner Than A Junkyard Dog

| Omaha, NE, USA | Working | June 28, 2012

(I have a medical alert service dog. I’ve just walked into a shop that sells, among other things, novelty pillows, I am pounced upon by an employee.)

Employee: “You can’t bring a dog in here!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. This is my service dog.”

Employee: “I can see that, but you really can’t bring it in here! We sell pillows!”

Me: *confused* “Well, federal law—”

Employee: “I KNOW! I know about federal law, but your dog could get allergens on the pillows! You could kill someone, and I shouldn’t have to ask you to do the right thing!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I have this dog so that I can stay safe. He’s very clean, so I don’t think they’ll be any problem—”

Employee: “No! No! Absolutely not! You can’t bring him anywhere near these pillows! He’s a dog, and you’re a heartless woman who only cares for herself!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m disabled. I really need this dog, I’m protected by law, and I don’t see—”

Employee: “NO, I can’t let you stay in here! If you’re not going to do the right thing on your own then I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”

Me: “Can I see a manager, or—”

Employee: “LEAVE!”

(I left. It just wasn’t worth it!)

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One You Suck And One Is Blow

| Texas, USA | Right | October 17, 2011

(Our store sells tons of marijuana inspired products, but we are not a head shop. A man approaches the counter with one of our huge tower incense burners.)

Customer: “Yeah, I smoke a lot of weed.”

Me: *laughs* “Okay, will this be it for today?”

Customer: *ignoring my question* “Nah, I don’t smoke weed anymore. My job won’t let me!”

Me: “Those darn drug tests, huh?”

Customer: “Yeah. I switched to cocaine, because it goes out of your system in a couple days!”

Me: *speechless*

(The man continues to laugh about this and walks nonchalantly out of the store with his wife and children.)

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