Willing To Pay Taupe Dollar

, , , , , , | Working | November 30, 2017

(I am checking out at a bookstore which offers throw blankets at a reduced price if you spend enough on other purchases. The blankets, all of which are shades of brown or grey, are on three shelves behind the cashier. Neither of us is stupid in this story; it’s just a miscommunication.)

Cashier: “Would you like to buy one of our throw blankets today? It would only be $29.”

Me: “Yes, I would, actually.” *pointing* “I’ll take one of the top ones.”

Cashier: *looking confused* “Top? Is that how you pronounce it?”

Me: *looking equally confused* “Yes?”

Cashier: *reaching for a blanket from the top shelf* “We’ve been saying ‘taupe.’”

Their Humanity Is Not Up To The Mark

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 7, 2017

(I have a stork bite [red birthmark] on my forehead and down the side of my nose. I’m working the check-out, and am ringing up an older gentleman. Everything is going fine until…)

Customer: “You have something on your face.”

Me: “Oh, you mean my birthmark?”

(The man thinks for a bit, then leans right in and pokes me hard on my forehead.)

Customer: “That’s where God said, ‘I.’” *pokes me hard* “’Hate.’” *pokes me hard again* “’You.’” *pokes me hard one last time*

(The man then happily grabbed his purchase and walked out. I was too stunned to say anything.)

Pardon My French

, , , , , | Friendly | August 31, 2017

(I grew up a Cajun in Louisiana, so I’m fluent in Cajun French. My family knows a lot about our history, including how our ancestors lived in Nova Scotia, and were victims of the Expulsion of the Acadians. I’m visiting a friend in Wolfville while she’s in college, when she suddenly has an idea.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], I actually have another friend who can speak French, wanna meet them?”

Me: “Um… I don’t know, the French I speak is very different, from what I’ve heard.”

Friend: “Nah, don’t worry, she’ll understand you.”

(She takes me to said friend’s house, who, when she opens to door, gives a very confused look to me and an annoyed look to my friend.)

Friend: “Well, go on, talk to her.”

Me: *in Cajun French* “Hi there, nice to meet you. [Friend] says that you speak French.”

(The girl looks at me in confusion, and when she talks back to me in French, I can only pick out a few words. We can only stare at each other in confusion.)

Friend: *now getting annoyed* “Well, why aren’t you guys talking?

Me: “I can’t understand her French…”

Friend: “What do you mean you can’t understand her French? It’s French! You said you spoke it!”

Girl: *sighing, then speaks in English* “[Friend], I told you, you aren’t invited to my sorority party, and bringing someone who speaks French isn’t going to change it. And by the way, there’s different types of French.”

Friend: “Well, fine! I didn’t want to go anyway. I should’ve known better than to ask some dumb American to help me! Come on, [My Name].”

Girl: “Oh, by the way.” *points to me* “You can come to my party. I’ve never heard that kind of French before.”

(My friend stomped off and refused to talk to me the rest of the day. Because it would be rude not to, I did show up to the party, where I got swarmed by people who wanted to hear how Cajun French sounded. Turns out, there were some people there [including the girl who invited me] whose ancestors were also victims from the Expulsion, where their families either hid from the British, or came back to Nova Scotia pledging allegiance. I later returned to Louisiana and cut ties with my “friend” for good, but I did gain a few new friends.)

Unfiltered Story #91898

, , | Unfiltered | August 19, 2017

–I’m a supervisor at a local drugstore. Our manager has a reputation of going above and beyond policy just to shut people up so they don’t call head office or complain about the store, which can make us look stupid in comparison when we are following store policy.–

Lady: *storms in* “Where is your supervisor?”
Me: it’s me, how can I help?
Lady: I need a return.

She has the receipt for the item, but not the item.
Me: ma’am, I cannot return an item if you don’t have both the receipt AND the item with you
Lady: but the item is damaged. It leaked, so I threw it out. I want my money back.
Me: once again ma’am, I cannot perform a return if you do not have the item AND the receipt.
Lady: why not?
Me: for all I know, the item is still intact and you just want free money. I cannot do that. If you would like to speak to someone higher up, here is the number, and my manager is in tomorrow morning at 9am. Feel free to complain to them.

She tells my manager that I was beyond rude and threatened her. She comes into the store the next morning; my manager demands I apologize to her. I refuse. Then, to make it up to her, she not only returns the item without it being present and gives her the cash and another bonus item to boot.

Should be called “manager isn’t always right”

A Few Shades Of Grey Short

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(An older lady customer with grey hair is being served by my coworker. I come within earshot just in time to witness this:)

Customer: *points to her head* “Just because there’s grey out here doesn’t mean there’s no more grey inside you know! I don’t appreciate being treated like I’m addled! I can think for myself, you know! My brain does still work!”

Coworker: *clearly taken aback* “Of course. I… I wasn’t trying to imply… I’m sorry, ma’am…”

(I’m wondering what the heck my coworker could possibly have said to set this woman off so badly, but she’s not done ranting yet… By this point my coworker has rung through the purchase: one book. We always ask if people want a bag when it’s a small purchase because a lot of people don’t; they’ll just carry it or put it in their own bag.)

Coworker: “So your total is [amount]. Would you like a bag for that?”

Customer: *looks incredulous* “Would I like a bag?! This is just ridiculous! I have NEVER had such horrible service in here! What is going on today?! Of COURSE I would like a bag! What ELSE am I supposed to do?!”

Coworker: “Well, some people have their own bags…”

Customer: *takes a big step back so we can clearly see all of her over the counter, and spreads her arms out wide in the air* “Do I LOOK like I have a bag?! Honestly! This is just ridiculous! I cannot BELIEVE the service in here today!”

Coworker: *handing over the now bagged book* “Here you go. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “You, too.”

(Despite still sounding annoyed, she sounded sincere enough when she said “you, too”, which just made the whole thing even stranger. My coworker and I just looked at each other in disbelief as she left.)

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