And You Drive A Car?

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2018

(Some of the air fresheners we sell have a “scratch and sniff” on the packet so the customers can try the scents before they buy. As I walk past our air freshener display one day, a customer browsing them asks me for help.)

Customer: “Excuse me. How do I use the scratch and sniff on this?”

Might Need To Walk Them Through It

, , , , , | Learning | October 14, 2018

(I’m working part time as a teacher in a nursery school, where the kids are all four or five years old. Today we’re getting the kids to draw around their feet and colour them in so that the parents can hang them on a wall for six months and then shove them in a cupboard.)

Me: “Okay, everyone, can you all take off one shoe and one sock?”

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Okay ,everyone, can you all take off one shoe and one sock on the same foot?”

Can’t Cry Over Spilt Milk When It Hasn’t Been Poured Yet

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I work as a barista at a British cafe chain.)

Me: “Hello there! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Tea. Two.”

Me: “Would you like those in large mugs or teapots? It’s all the same price.”

Customer: “Small! All you big chains are just out to scam people all the time, pretending like there isn’t a smaller size; it’s disgusting!”

Me: “Ma’am, all the sizes of tea are the same price so I just thought—”

Customer: “No! Small!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, regular milk or skimmed with that?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, anything else for you today?”

Customer: “I SAID NO ALREADY!”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. Thanks very much, enjoy!”

(I go off to clear a table quickly before serving the next customer. When I come back, the customer is still standing there.)

Me: “Everything okay, ma’am?”

Customer: *looking at me like I have a screw loose* “Erm, MILK?!”

Me: “Oh, yep, sure!”

Customer: *to the next person in line* “Jesus, where do they find these people? It’s like the light’s on, but nobody’s home!”

Change-ing Perceptions

, , , , | | Right | May 31, 2018

(I’m the customer, paying for a £1.49 pack of greetings cards. I hand my coins, £1 + 50p + 5p + 2p + 1p + 1p, to the cashier.)

Me: “Here’s £1.59.”

Another Customer: *in a tone that says, “You moron!”* “He said £1.49. Why are you giving him £1.59?”

Me: *answering factually, as if it were a genuine question* “He’ll give me 10p change. I’ll have fewer coins in my pocket, and he’ll have some change for other customers.”

Cashier: *handing me 10p* “I wish more customers were like you.”

Unfiltered Story #110916

, , , | Unfiltered | May 16, 2018

I work as a sales assistant in a phone shop and a customer entered with her friend, asking about a new iPhone cable to replace hers which was broken.

As I was halfway through showing her which cables we had in stock, her friend wandered over and asked ‘What’s a cable?’.

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