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Skewering Your Hopes Of Staying Contactless

, , , , , | Working | May 23, 2020

Due to the regulations in Norway surrounding the recent disease outbreak, most restaurants are closed except for takeout. I head over to surprise my husband with some of his favorite döner kebab to cheer him up. 

As I am waiting — patiently, one meter apart from all the other patrons — to order, I see advertisements everywhere in the restaurant asking people to pay with contactless payment methods to avoid unnecessary touching. They’re on the digital menu screens, on signs,  everywhere, asking people to pay with contactless methods.

I almost always try to use contactless anyway, so I’m pleased. There should be no reason to touch the PIN pad, as it is a transaction under the currency requirement that makes you enter your PIN code using your bank card. 

I eventually make my way to the front, place my order, and go to pay using contactless payment, only for the screen to prompt for me to enter a tip into the keypad and hit “OKAY” to acknowledge the total. The gentleman working there has no ability to enter it in himself, so I am forced to touch the PIN pad regardless.

Should’ve Hitched A Ride With Santa

, , , | Working | May 18, 2020

We are tourists who have booked a reindeer-feeding experience directly through our hotel. The shuttle bus forgets to pick us up; when it arrives at the location and the reindeer park staff realise we are missing, they immediately send for a taxi, which is relayed to us by our hotel reception.

I should note that the name and address of our destination was listed absolutely nowhere on our hotel’s website when we booked the tour. We don’t know where we are going and don’t know the contact details of the location; it has all been handled via our hotel. Once we’re already in the car and moving, the taxi driver asks me:

Taxi Driver: “Where are you going?”

Me: “Uh, we don’t actually know; you were arranged for us by the park we are going to.”

Taxi Driver: “Yes, but where is it?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, we really don’t know. We were supposed to be picked up by a bus and they forgot us; we don’t know the location.”

The driver scoffs and starts laughing.

Taxi Driver: “What? You don’t know where you’re going?? Why did you call a taxi?”

Me: “I’m sorry. As I just said, we didn’t call you ourselves; it was arranged for us. Didn’t they tell you the address?”

The driver is still laughing condescendingly.

Taxi Driver:  “I can’t believe you don’t know where you’re going.”

He then proceeds to pull over and call the tour company. They try to give him the address and he hangs up before confirming that he’s spelt it right. Then, he starts typing it into his map and driving at the same time. It is worth noting that he is speaking to them in English, which seemingly is not his first language nor that of the person he’s talking to, and the trouble they are having communicating is evident.

I am only a tourist and not familiar with the local area, but I know for sure the address he has just typed in is a major city that is over a seven-hour drive away. I feel panic rising in my belly because I have severe social anxiety and his attitude so far is stressing me out. The driver realises the address can’t be right, pulls his phone out again, and calls them back.

Taxi Driver: “You expect me to drive these people to [Faraway City]?” *Pause* “Well, the address you gave me says it is there.” *Pause* “So, it is not there?” *Pause* “Okay, I will just guess, then, because your address is wrong.”

He hangs up on them again and makes no further attempt to fix the address in his maps. I am unable to speak at this point out of panic that he is not only driving us to an incorrect location but will expect me to pay him myself when he can’t find it. The driver speaks to me once more, quite scornfully now.

Taxi Driver: “Unbelievable that you call a taxi and don’t know where you are going.”

He continued driving and, gods be good, guessed correctly and delivered us safely to our destination. It turned out to only be about twenty minutes away from our hotel. The staff were ready and waiting to pay for the taxi and greet us.

And That’s How Entitled Customers Are Born

, , , | Related | April 24, 2020

A small girl has found a toy she wants and keeps asking her mom to buy it.

Girl: “Can I have this?”

Mom: “No.”

Girl: “Please?”

Mom: “No, we’re not buying anything today.”

Girl: “I want it!”

Mom: “No, I’m not buying it.”

The girl proceeds to ask again and again and again, following her mother all the way around the store, but the mother does not give in.

Girl: “I WANT IT! I WANT IT! IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT—”

They leave the store, the girl following her mom yelling about how she wants the toy. I can hear them long after they exit the bookstore. Then, twenty minutes later, the girl comes back with her dad. 

Dad: “Is this the one you wanted?”

Girl: “Yes.”

He bought the toy for her and they left the store.

They Need To Switch Positions

, , , | Right | February 26, 2020

I work the evening shift at a hotel in the housekeeping department. I generally run around with towels, shampoo, etc., for guests. This evening, I get a call from the reception saying that some guests can’t get the bathroom lights turned on. I knock on the guest’s door.

Guest:
“Finally! It’s broken! I’ve tried everything, and I can’t get the lights to work!”

Me:
“Okay, may I come in and have a look?”

Guest:
“Come on, come on.”

We use a card in a main switch by the door which turns everything on. The card is in the switch and other lights are on in the room. 

Me:
“You’ve tried the light switch, yeah? Is it broken?”

Guest:
“What light switch? I already put the card in the door; what else could it be?!”

Me:
“Umm, there’s a light switch just there.”

I point towards the light switch.

Guest: “Where?!”
I lean forward with my arm raised out straight. The guest is standing not two centimetres from the switch and I lean forward and turn it on. The light in the bathroom comes on. 

Me:
“This switch.”

Guest:
*Clearly embarrassed* “Well, they should mark them better! You can leave now!”

It was the only switch on the wall in the entire room.

Time We Didn’t Have, And It’s Still Wasted

, , | Working | February 21, 2020

(I’m visiting my parents for the summer. My father is away for the weekend, and I’m busy writing a text for my mother while she’s doing laundry. Her phone rings. Naturally, I answer it.)

Me: “Hello, [Mom]’s phone, [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Electrical Company] working with [some sort of organization/cause]. Maybe you’ve heard of us?”

Me: “Can’t say that I have. Either way, I have nothing to do with the services, and the—”

Caller: “Oh, is that covered in the lease, maybe?”

Me: “My parents are homeowners, but that’s beside the point. My father deals with these kinds of things, and he is currently unavailable. However, I’m sure he’d tell you we are very happy with our services; otherwise, he would’ve changed them already.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, thank you for the time you didn’t have.”