Little Boys Are Complete Tools

, , , , | Right | August 12, 2019

(I am ringing out a mother and her two little boys wearing the cutest raincoats. I overhear the older boy whispering to his mom that the girl didn’t reply when he said hi. Realizing he is talking about me, I wave to him.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Older Boy: “Hi! I’m a fireman! This is my uniform ‘cause I’m a fireman.” *starts smiling and going into detail about firemen*

Me: *turning to the younger boy* “And what are you supposed to be?”

Younger Boy: *with a yellow raincoat* “TOOLS! I’m tools!”

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Unfiltered Story #110663

, , | Unfiltered | May 10, 2018

(One of the liquor stores in my town is owned and ran by a kindly old man of about 80 y/o. I can look quite young depending on what I wear. It’s the holidays and I’m making plenty of booze runs)

Owner: “Hello, young lady.”

Me: “Hello, sir. Just this, please. (hands over purchase along with ID)

Owner: (takes a couple of minutes to find the date) “Oh you’re an Aries just like me.”

Me: “Yes, sir – go rams!”

Owner: “Haha, yes!” (figures out my age on his calculator, then takes a good long look at me) “26! Why that’s amazing!”

Me: “Thank you, sir.”

Owner: “Yes that’s amazing. Well that’ll be (total) and thank you for having your ID ready. How did you know I was going to ask for it?”

Me: “Oh I know I look pretty young, sir.”

(Thinking to self: actually it’s because we’ve had this exact exchange, almost word for word, about our zodiac sign and my amazing appearance followed by you asking me how I knew you were going to ask me for my ID, 4-5 times in the past 2 months. Old people are cute.)