Shaving Off Some Sun

, , , , , | Romantic | October 11, 2018

(My husband finishes taking his shower and comes to sit next to me on the sofa.)

Me: *snuggling* “You smell so good!”

Husband: “Yeah, I ran out of shaving cream halfway through and used sunscreen, instead.”

Me: *baffled laughter*

Unfiltered Story #119043

, | Unfiltered | August 26, 2018

(During my lunch where I work at a saddlery, [uniform is jeans, cowboy boots and a blue polo] I decide to head to the grocery store [uniform is black dress pants and green button-up shirt])
Woman#1: Hi where can i find [item]?
Me: *ignores women thinking she is talking to a nearby employee*
Woman#1: Excuse me young lady?
Me: *raises eyebrow* I’m sorry I actually have no idea where that is.
Woman#1: Well can you find someone that knows then?
Me: Ermmm, sure? *finds an employee*
(about 5 minutes later I am approached by a separate customer)
Woman#2: Hi where is the [item]?
Me:… I’m sorry I don’t actually know.
Woman#2:…Oh.. Well can you point me in the right direction?
Me: Well uhm there are big signs telling you the products are, I’m sure they can tell you. *I’m quite confused at this point*
Woman#2: Do you even work here?
Me: *smiling politely* My uniform isn’t even close to the employees of this store.
Woman#2: Oh… right…

Don’t Have A Laughing Cow, Man

, , , , , , | | Working | May 25, 2018

(For one summer, I work at a grocery store. This store has a department where customers from small, isolated communities send us their food requests and we pick the food, bill it on a credit card, box it, and deliver it to an airline to be flown to that community. A coworker approaches me with a customer’s food list request.)

Coworker: “Hey, can you read French?”

Me: “A little bit, why?”

Coworker: “One item on this list is written in French, and the only word I understand is ‘fromage.’”

(The item in question reads, “Le fromage de la vache qui rit.”)

Me: “Hmm… the cheese… of the cow… who laughs? What?”

Coworker: “Oh! Laughing Cow Cheese!

Me: “There you go! Why on Earth was that in French?”

Coworker: “I have no idea.”

A Clear Stamp Of Admitting Their Mistake

, , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

(I work in a small pharmacy that is located about three shops away from a post office. Despite being small, it has obvious advertising.)

Customer: *walks straight up to the counter* “Hi. I can’t find your stamps.”

Me: “Uh, sorry, ma’am; we don’t sell stamps here.”

Customer: *immediately becomes frustrated* “What kind of post office doesn’t sell stamps!?”

Me: *indicates to medications surrounding the entire counter* “This is a pharmacy. The post office is just down the hall.”

Customer: “SO?!”

(She then stormed out the door as though we had offended her.)