Let Me Check The Non-Existent Back For The Non-Existent Flower

, , , , , | Right | March 1, 2019

(I work in a small flower stall on a pretty busy street. We just got our flowers and stuff in the morning, and we do not have any storage rooms, which is pretty obvious. During my shift a customer comes up.)

Customer: “Do you have [flower] in red?”

Me: *knowing that this flower does not exist in that colour* “No, sir, I’m sorry, but this flower does not exist in red; therefore, we do not store it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I am pretty sure, because it does not exist.”

Customer: “You just don’t want to look it up in your storage room.” *leaves angrily*

(Where the f*** are we supposed to have a storage room if we just have a small stall in the street? Some people.)

How to Handle A Dog-Hairy Situation

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I am a regular at a local sewing store where I’m also taking classes. One day I drop by to get fabric and decided to bring my dog, since my mum and I have to go there by car, anyway, and my dog is still kind of anxious about driving after a recent bad experience. When I bring her into the shop, this happens.)

Owner: “Oh, I’m sorry; you can’t bring your dog in here. My husband is really allergic to them.”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t know that.”

Mum: “I’ll just take her out and wait in the car with her.”

Owner: “I’m really sorry. It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I love dogs, and yours looks really cute, but my husband swells up and can’t breathe when he’s near dog hair, and…”

Me: “Really, it’s no problem. She can use the time in the car, anyway.”

(We go on to discuss fabric choices for my project, and she helps me personally, since only one other customer is in the store who is already being helped by one of the employees. When we move closer to them to look at some belt straps, the owner notices that in a bag on the floor is a tiny dog, even smaller than mine.)

Owner: “Excuse me. I didn’t notice it before, but dogs are not allowed in this store. Please leave your dog outside.”

Customer: *in a tone so rude I can’t possibly portray it in writing* “It’s none of your business. He’s in a bag.” *turns back around to the employee*

Owner: “My husband is extremely allergic to dogs, so I have to ask you, again, to please take your dog outside, as I can’t have him in the store.”

Customer: “And where am I supposed to put him? My car? He’d just destroy it. No. I’m keeping him with me, in here.”

(The dog in question is a chihuahua in a closed bag, on a leash that ties him to said bag. He couldn’t possibly get out of there.)

Owner: “I frankly don’t care where you put your dog, as long as he’s not in my store. Please get him out of here now.”

Customer: “No. I won’t. And if you make me, you’ll lose me as a customer.”

Owner: “I don’t want you as a customer if you don’t take your dog outside right now!”

Customer: “I won’t.”

(With that, she turns back to the employee, who obviously doesn’t know how to deal with that and is extremely uncomfortable, but resumes helping the entitled woman with choosing some buttons. The owner is obviously furious but doesn’t know what else to do. I’m furious, too; the tone and general attitude of the customer are so rude, and to such a nice person, that I basically feel ashamed to belong to the same species as that person. After taking a deep breath and contemplating, I decide to step in.)

Me: *in a calm but incredibly icy tone, with my best menacing stare* “Excuse me.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I just took my dog outside to wait in the car, too. You have been asked repeatedly to remove your dog from this store. It is not okay to endanger the health of a human being just so your dog won’t have to spend ten minutes alone in a car. Do you really believe that the fifteen Euros you’re spending here are more important to [Owner] than her husband’s health? Pull yourself together, get rid of that attitude, and get your dog outside right now.”

Customer: “FINE! I will buy my buttons here, and then I will never come back! You’ve just lost a customer for life!”

Me: “Thank God. I wouldn’t like to encounter the likes of you in here ever again.”

Warning: Nuts Contain Nuts

, , , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(I work at a somewhat larger bakery chain in Germany, and I am alone when this happens. A lady comes to the counter and points to a plunder — pastry.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “That’s our nut plunder.”

Customer: *quiet for a bit* “Does it contain nuts?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, our nut plunder contains nuts.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t have it, then; I am allergic to nuts. What’s this?” *points to our gingerbread cake*

Me: “That’s our gingerbread cake with cherries, but if you are allergic to nuts I would advise you not to buy it; it may contain some, and it’s lying next to a cake with lots of nuts in it.”

Customer: “Oh, I know that one. But it doesn’t have nut pieces.”

Me: “Yes, that is true, but it still may contain some nuts; plus, it’s lying next to a nut cake.”

(At this point there are five customers waiting.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you still need some time to decide, may I help another customer?”

Customer: “No, I need that cake right now.” *silence for the next thirty seconds* “Does the nut cream cake have nuts in it?”

(At this point I am not sure if she just wants to mess with me, and the other customers are looking annoyed or amused.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the nut cream cake contains nuts. Maybe you would like to try our cherry cake? Or maybe the poppy seed cake? Neither contains nuts, and the poppy seed cake is on sale right now…”

Customer: “No, I want to choose myself.”

(Another while of her staring at the cakes…)

Customer: “But the gingerbread cake doesn’t have nut pieces.”

(The other customers groan.)

Me: “That is true, but like I said—”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I know, the cake next to it has nuts.”

(This went on for what felt like an hour. Other customers left. I asked her to let me help her decide or help the other customers first, but she kept denying me. After a while, with the help of another customer, she finally decided to buy some poppy seed cake.)