Hopefully It’s Only The Call That Dropped

, , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I’m a student living on the top floor of a nice dorm. “Nice dorm” means nice elevators with functioning emergency call buttons. One day, I’m riding the elevator down when the emergency call button blinks, along with a ringing sound.)

Me: “No way.”

(I push the call button.)

Caller: “Hi!”

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this [Female Name]?”

Me: *definitely male voice* “No.”

Caller: “When will [Female Name] be in?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “This is an elevator.”

Caller: *long pause* “I’m sorry?”

Me: “You called an elevator. There is no [Female Name] here.”

Caller: *click*

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, , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I was working the phone side of customer service at a big tech retail store. This particular customer retains a straight tone of voice throughout the conversation, which lasts 15 minutes, but I’ll share the best part of it.)

Customer: “Do you have any dildos?”

Me: *taken aback* “Um, what?”

Customer: “Dildos. Do you have any in stock?”

Me: “I am certain that we do not.”

Customer: “What the h*** kind of store are you, then?”

Me: “An electronics store.”

Customer: “Oh. So, you have the vibrating ones.”

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Doesn’t Smile For The Photo

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I’m alone in the one-hour photo lab during senior photo season, covering the counter, cutting prints, and managing the machines. Several hours in with nonstop customers, I’m keeping up, but you can tell I’ve been getting slammed and not enjoying it. A teenage customer has just requested his photos…)

Customer’s Friend: *whispering to the customer* “And a smile would be nice.”

(I stare him down when I return to the counter, before holding the package out to the customer. He clearly looks uncomfortable as I do this, avoiding my eye contact.)

Me: “Please. Go on. I’d love to hear more of what you think.”

(Both lowered their heads and scurried off without another word.)

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Shaping Up To Be A Sour Note

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(We are a corporate company that sells a lot of sheet music. I have only worked at this place for eight months. I am helping out with customer service calls, when a customer calls in asking me to explain something she sees on our website. I have been on the phone for the last ten minutes, trying to answer her questions.)

Customer: “So, the symbol doesn’t mean it has shaped notes?”

Me: “The symbol you are seeing only indicates that is a capella, not that is has shaped notes.”

Customer: “I know that is a capella, I just want to know if it has shaped notes. Can’t you hear? I’ll say it again… does the music have shaped notes?!”

Me: “[Customer], as far as I can tell, they are not shaped notes. There is no way for me to view the music, since it is an older piece. Is there a particular voicing you are looking for, so I can see if we have it in our store and can look at it for you?”

Customer: “I don’t care about the voicing, I just want to know if it is shaped-note. Is there a supervisor around I can talk to, since you apparently don’t know your product?”

Me: *tired of arguing with this customer* “Yes, hold on.” *I put her on hold, which she sighs at as I do, and ask my coworkers about it, and they tell me the same thing I’ve been telling her.* “Okay, they said that there is no way to tell if it is shaped-note if it does not specify it in the description.  Since it is not a common notation, they would have it in the description if it had shaped notes.”

Customer: “So, you’re saying it is not shaped-note? Are there any that are?”

Me: “As far as I can tell, we have none that are shaped-note for that specific piece. It might be in a collection book, but when I search for it, nothing comes up with that title.”

Customer: “Well, you are no help at all. You clearly should not be in the in music business if you don’t even know your own product that you sell! You have wasted my time. I hope you are happy.” *hangs up phone*

Me: *turning to my coworkers* “Well, apparently I have no idea what I’m doing in this business.”

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Anti Antibiotics

, , , , | Working | September 13, 2017

(I went to the doctor a few days ago because of an infection I had, and got antibiotics for it. The infection cleared up, but I am now noticing that my tongue is turning yellow, swollen, and somewhat bumpy. I go to the doctor again, to make sure I’m not having a bad allergic reaction to the antibiotics.)

Doctor: “You think that you’re having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics?”

Me: “Yes; my tongue is turning weird colors and it feels swollen.”

Doctor: *looks at my tongue* “Well, I don’t see anything that concerns me.”

Me: “You’re sure? It doesn’t feel normal.”

(The doctor proceeds to Google what the possible side effects could be for this antibiotic.)

Doctor: “Are you sure that you don’t just have food stuck to your tongue?”

Me: “…”

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