Dew You Even Drink, Bro?

, , , | Right | May 7, 2018

(I am finishing up an order at the drive-thru.)

Me: “And what would you like to drink with that?”

Customer: “Mountain Dew.”

Me: “We have Coke products, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay… Pepsi?”

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Some Body Agrees

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2018

(Our service desk is undergoing much needed renovations. One of the new things being built for us is a small closet to store extra cartons of cigarettes so we don’t have to run in back so often when we run out of a certain brand. The construction is very loud, and some of our customers are visibly upset, and I’m starting to get frustrated, too, since it’s making it difficult for me to communicate. After a while, a little old lady in her 80s approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss. What are you building back there?”

Me: “I apologize about the noise; we’re building extra storage for cigarettes.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought you were building a place to hide all the bodies of the rude customers!”

Me: *laughs* “Oh, ma’am, I wish!”

Customer: *smiles* “Keep up the good work, [My Name]!”

(Her encouragement lifted my spirits for the rest of my shift despite the noise. It’s nice that some people can be understanding.)

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Named And Shamed, Part 8

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2018

(I have just finished ringing up three adult women when one of them points to my name tag.)

Customer #1: “Hey, check out his name!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Customer #2: “Your name is [My Name]? That’s my son’s name, too.”

Me: “Heh. Sounds like you’ve got good taste in names.”

Customer #2: “Nah. That kid’s such an idiot. He’s three years old.”

Me: “…”

Related:
Named And Shamed, Part 7
Named And Shamed, Part 6
Named And Shamed, Part 5
Named And Shamed, Part 4
Named And Shamed, Part 3

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Why Don’t You Just Level Up And Die

, , , , , , | Related | January 11, 2018

(My sister is playing a video game when I hear a piano riff that plays when your in-game character dies.)

Me: “Did you just die?”

Sister: “Yup.”

Me: “It’s funny how I’ve already learned to recognize the sound of you dying.” *brief pause* “That sounds really creepy when you take it out of context.”

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Don’t Know What They’ve Been Eating On That Ranch

, , | Right | January 4, 2018

(A woman and her teenage daughter approach the order counter.)

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Mother: “I’ll have the Caesar salad.” *to her daughter* “What will you have, honey?”

Daughter: “What’s on the Chicken Bacon Ranch?”

Me: “Um, chicken… bacon… and ranch?”

(The mother burst into laughter as her daughter turned bright red.)

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