In Canada, we’ve discontinued the use of pennies in our monetary system. I am in Grand Forks, North Dakota with my family, and we stop at a store to buy snacks for the road trip back home. My total is $4.99, and I pay with a $5 bill. The woman at cash tries to give me a penny, and I decline.

Me: “I’m from Canada, and we don’t use pennies. Just keep it. Sorry!”

Apparently, this is the wrong thing to say.

Cashier: *Getting mad* “You Canadians think that you’re better than Americans for not using pennies! It’s very rude to not accept the penny!”

I just went, “Uh-huh,” and ran.

Related:
Unfortunately, The Penny Dropped

The store I work in changed locations a few years back so we occasionally get calls asking where we are located now.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]; this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Where are you guys located?”

Me: “We are now located in [Mall] off the intersections of [Street #1] and [Street #2].”

Caller: “Okay, so should I go right or left?”

Me: *Pause* “We are on the west side of the intersection in the mall.”

Caller: “So should I turn right or left?”

Me: “Well, are you driving north or south on [Street #1]?”

Caller: “I don’t know. Just tell me right or left!”

Me: “Yes, I just need to know if you are northbound or southbound.”

Caller: “It’s a simple question; should I turn right or left!”

Me: “Left!” *Hangs up*

Related:
A Directionless Conversation, Part 3
A Directionless Conversation, Part 2
A Directionless Conversation

I work at a store that has a weekly ad displaying all the sales of that week. I get a call mid-afternoon while I am working up at customer service and the following conversation occurs.

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to know about your Pepsi deals this week.”

Me: “Of course, just a moment!”

I pull out the ad and find the Pepsi sale.

Me: “The Pepsi sales are if you buy $20 worth of Pepsi products, you get a $5 gift card. And we have a two-for-$7 on twelve-packs and a two-for-$5 on six-packs.”

Caller: “Is there anything on there about two-liter bottles?”

Me: “No, ma’am, only the $20 for $5 gift card would apply to the two-liters.”

Caller: “I don’t believe you. Put someone who knows more than you on, dumba**.”

I can’t believe what I’ve heard. I put on my “not taking any s***” coworker.

Coworker: “Hi, this is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to know your deals on Pepsi products.” 

My coworker tells her the same information I told her.

Caller: “I can’t believe this! I think you both are lying!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, why would we lie about this? You have had two people look at the official ad and tell you what the deals are. If you don’t believe us, come down and look for yourself.”

Caller: “I will hear from a manager about these deals, not two liars!”

Coworker: “Oh, hun, take a guess what the manager will say.”

Caller: *Click* 

Related:
This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2
This Is Soda-Pressing

My manager needs to get some of her tasks completed so she lets me take charge and just operates as an acting manager. Our store has a policy that anyone taking orders in drive-thru always needs to end an order asking if their screen is showing correctly so the order does not turn out to be wrong in the end.

Lo and behold, a customer doesn’t check his screen and this is what happens.

Me: “Sorry, sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I ordered a vanilla shake but you guys gave me a chocolate shake.”

Me: “All right, can I see your receipt, sir?”

The customer hands me the receipt and I see that his order says chocolate instead of vanilla.

Me: *To my coworker* “Did you ask if his screen was correct?”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Me: *To the customer* “All right, sir, so, as you can see here on your receipt, we had a chocolate shake on your order, and we did ask if your screen was correct. If you’re willing to go to the end of our line so I can help out the rest of the customers in line, I will be glad to fix the shake for you!”

Customer: “But I ordered a vanilla shake!”

Me: “I know, sir, but we did ask if your screen was correct. We have other customers to he—”

Customer: “Just go and make the shake!”

I’ve offered to help him by just having him wait maybe three minutes in line so I can help our other customers and I’ve been nothing but kind to him, so I lose all will to help him anymore.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but like I said, we asked if your screen was correct and it even says here that it’s a chocolate shake.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just make the shake?!”

Because it’s a waste of product.

Me: “Because, sir, we asked if your screen was correct and we even have on the order that it is a chocolate shake.”

Customer: “I’m about to throw this shake at you!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we asked if your screen was correct and it even shows here that we have it ordered as a chocolate shake.”

Customer: “You’re a creep, you know that?”

I am a little taken aback as I was expecting a different insult, one that wouldn’t make me fall down laughing.

Me: “All right, sir! Have a nice day!”

Customer: “A real creep!”

I shut the window as he was shouting that at me and he drove off.

I am the acting manager on the floor. My general manager will often come to work on the weekends so he can be aware of how all shifts are running. During these times, he allows whichever manager-on-duty is scheduled to continue to act as manager while he works as a team member, working whatever position he needs to and deferring to us for decisions. My manager has worked all shifts all days of the week and knows all the regulars by name.

This particular Saturday, I am acting manager-on-duty while my general manager works the front register. A lady came running in with one of our cups.

Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru and my latte has froth on it! I’m here all the time and you always get it wrong!”

Outside the fact that a latte always has foam on it unless a customer specifically asks for no foam, this is a woman I have never seen before and, by the look on his face, my manager hasn’t, either.

Manager: “Well, ma’am—”

He can’t get anything else in edgewise as the woman keeps ranting, so he finally just waits for her to finish. She ends with:

Customer: “I am a regular here and this is ridiculous! I personally know the manager and will see you all fired.”

I look at my manager curiously, waiting to see what he does. He sighs.

Manager: “Actually, ma’am, I am the general manager at this location, and I have never seen you before.”

At this, the lady became very red and left quickly. My manager, the other workers, and I all burst out laughing.

Moral of the story: if you are going to play the “I know the manager!” card, make sure you aren’t talking TO the manager!