Can’t Say No To Her Puppy-Dog Eyes

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I am standing at the front desk of our hotel, getting maintenance reports from the night before, when a lady comes up to the desk, walks right up to me, and says:)

Lady: “I thought this was a no-pet hotel?”

(I am a little shocked because she is maybe a foot away from my face. I back up a couple steps.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are a pet-free hotel.”

(She raises her eyebrows, and cocks her head.)

Lady: “Then why did I just see a f****** dog on my floor?!”

(After asking her what room she’s in, I realize she is three doors down from a frequent guest who is in a wheelchair and has a service dog. The front desk agent and I tell her it’s a service animal. The lady goes off on us that she and her whole group are allergic to dogs and they came to this hotel because we do not allow pets in our hotel. We explain that we cannot deny service animals. There is a little crowd forming in the lobby… including the guests’ fourteen-year-old daughter. Trying to end this quickly and quietly, we offer to move the lady rooms, but she refuses and demands that the guest with the dog be thrown out of the hotel for violating the no-pet policy. At this point the daughter walks up to her.)

Daughter: “Excuse me, I’m sorry my dad’s service dog is upsetting you. He lets us know when my dad is starting to have a seizure so we can help him through it. I wish we could change rooms, but we need it because it’s wheelchair accessible.”

(Another guest listening to what’s going on let out a long “Wooooooowwwww” from behind the angry lady. She turned beet red, turned, and walked away. The front desk agent and I talked to the daughter and apologized and hoped she wasn’t angry. The daughter told us it was no problem. The front desk agent and I both told her we wished we could have told the lady off like that.)

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Fix The Google! Fix All Of The Google!

, , , | Right | December 6, 2018

(I am a scheduler at a busy medical clinic.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [My Name]. Thank you for calling [Clinic]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “Yes. Do you need to make an appointment?”

Caller: “How much are your light boxes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “For light therapy! I Googled light boxes, and [Doctor]’s name came up!”

Me: “We’re a medical clinic. We don’t sell light boxes.”

Caller: “Do you know where I can get one?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Well, you need to fix Google, then!”

(I’m pretty sure the doctor in question isn’t even one known for light box therapy!)

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Unfiltered Story #126546

, , | Unfiltered | November 15, 2018

Me: Thank you for calling [Electronics Store]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I was wondering if you carry any pet-safe washer/dryer combos.
Me: (confused) I’m sorry, I don’t follow. Pet-safe?
Customer: (in a matter-of-fact tone throughout) Yes, pet-safe. You see, recently, while I was doing a load of laundry, my cat got into it. I didn’t notice him when I started the laundry, and I found him in there when it was done.
Me: (horrified and speechless)
Customer: Anyways, I wanted to see if he was alive, so I threw him on the floor.
Me: (still horrified) On the floor?
Customer: (still matter-of-fact, no emotion coming through) Yes, it was a game we’d play. I’d throw him down, then he’d run around. So this time when I threw him down, his head popped off.
Me: (nearing a catatonic state of horror)
Customer: It was really sad; I liked that cat. So do you have any pet-safe washer/dryer combos?

(Eventually, I figured out that what she wanted was a laundry machine that somehow had a screen on it that prevented the ingress of pets, yet still allowed her to put clothes in without removing the screen. Since the laws of physics got in the way of that plan, that was the end of that. Pet-safe products are still an in-joke there.)

Take That Comeback Straight To The Bank

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2018

(I work at the service desk at a moderately-sized grocery chain. We offer many services, including check cashing and money orders. I have an older woman approach me asking for a money order. She hands me some fifties; our policy is that we need to check fifties and higher to make sure they’re not counterfeit. The woman doesn’t like this and gets very insecure.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re doing this! I just came here from the bank!”

Me: *as politely as possible* “Ma’am, it’s Sunday. The banks are closed.”

(Her face turned red and she was silent for the rest of the transaction. She had no reason to be insecure, either; all of her money was real. I printed her money order and she went on her way.)

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Keep The Change, However Much It Is

, , , , , | Right | July 22, 2018

(One afternoon a customer walks in and orders a $3 item. He pays with a $5 bill and the coins needed to get a flat amount back. Before I can give him his change, he pulls three $1s out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I just realized I had these extra dollars on me. Think I could give you these then you could give me a $5 back?”

Me: “Not a problem.” *completes the transaction* “You know, this kind of looks like you spent $3, only to be given $5 and a drink.”

Customer: “What? How? Explain this to me.”

Me: “Ignoring the coins, your order was $3. You gave me $5, for $2 change. Then you handed me $3 so I combined them—”

Customer: “And I got my $5 back.”

Me: “And you got your $5 back.”

Customer: *laughs* “Okay. Tell me that one more time.”

(We ended up repeating this conversation three more times, the customer laughing harder each repeat. In the end, he thought it was amusing enough to let me keep the change!)

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