I’m working the drive-thru, waiting on an unusual sight for the fall: an older-looking man in a convertible with no shirt on. In the time it takes to get his food ready, two more cars pull up and place their orders.

Me: “And here’s your food. You have a good day now.”

He takes his bag and then stares at me, wide-eyed.

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there an issue, sir?”

Customer: “I like it when people are behind me in the drive-thru.”

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 14
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 13
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 12
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 11
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 10

I’m a shift supervisor at a store for a regional coffee chain. It’s a Sunday morning and we are absolutely slammed. The local favorite professional football team has a playoff game today. Most of our customers have been dressed in full purple and gold, trying to get their coffee before noon kick-off.

It is 11:50 am and a family of ten, in full purple and gold, walks in and comes to the counter to order. They each order a specialty drink and a sandwich. Because there are so many and we can only cook two at a time, the sandwiches alone will take us close to fifteen minutes to make. The last guy to order also pays.

Customer: “And hurry up! We need to be back home for kick-off!”

My cashier looks over at me.

Me: “Sir, [Team] kick-off is at noon; that’s in ten minutes. Your sandwiches alone are going to take about fifteen minutes to make. There’s no way you’ll be home in time.”

Customer: “We’ll make it in time if you quit talking and make our stuff!”

Trying not to roll my eyes, I join my coworker in making the order. The entire time, the man and his family are making loud comments about how slow we are and how they are going to miss part of the game. Even working as quickly as we can, it still takes us around fifteen minutes to finish everything. We hand off all the drinks and sandwiches only for the guy to say as they are all walking out the door:

Customer: “Thanks for nothing! We still have a fifteen-minute drive home! We’re going to miss the whole first quarter! I’m going to report you to your manager!” *Storms out*

I printed off a copy of his receipt, circled the time on it, and left it with an explanation on the back for my manager. Sure enough, the guy called in the next morning to complain. My manager burst out laughing on the phone and hung up on him.

How on earth did he think that coming in with ten minutes before the game starts, getting coffee, and then driving fifteen minutes home was going to work? Did they have a time machine?

Our pediatrician’s office has an odd setup where you park across from the clinic in a separate parking lot and have to cross the street in order to get to the front door. While there are several blinking signs to inform drivers to stop when there are pedestrians in the crosswalk, people often speed down the street, and I have been almost hit several times.

Today, I am taking my one-year-old for a checkup. As it’s winter, he is wearing a knit hat with a logo for an NFL team that is the rival of the local favorite team. I hit the walk button and, seeing no one, start to walk across the street while holding my son.

Suddenly, a large truck comes racing down the street. They don’t look like they are going to stop, so I hurry across. They do stop at the last minute as I get to the front of the clinic.

The guy driving rolls down his window.

Guy: “Now that I see your kid’s hat, maybe I should have hit you guys! Go [Local Favorite NFL Team]!”

He laughed and drove off.

I stood there in disbelief. Who says that to someone, but especially about an obviously very little kid?

My grandfather served in the military for the first years of my father’s life, and at the time, they were stationed in the northern area of the USA. Due to religious dietary restrictions, there were not many food options around. One year, for the major holiday, my grandmother decided to take the trek across the border into Canada to the nearest major city for better food options. When attempting to come back, however, they were stopped by the border crossing guard.

Guard: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you cannot bring food over that was bought in Canada.”

My grandmother goes on to explain the hardship of trying to find good food their religion allows.

Guard: “Ah, so this is not ‘food’. This is ‘religious artifacts.'”

And then he let my grandmother through.

My grandmother didn’t press her luck the few more years they stayed there; however, this may have been one of the few rare instances of a US border guard having a sense of humor.

I’m looking to buy a digital camera as a gift for a friend who I know needs one. The camera I have is very good and I know it would suit my friend’s needs, so I’m looking for another one online. I find a seller on [Auction Website] selling a new one for a good price with cheap shipping, so I order it right away.

I live in a relatively small town in North Dakota, and the winters can be pretty harsh, so I think nothing of it when I get an email from the seller about the camera, telling me that the shipment may be delayed due to a bad winter storm in their area. I reply, saying that it’s fine and I understand, as my area is also currently experiencing a bad winter storm.

Out of curiosity, I navigate to the seller’s page to see where they are shipping from. To my surprise, they are shown as being in the same small North Dakota town I’m in! And somehow, neither of us noticed this before.

I have a laugh and email the seller again, pointing out the funny coincidence, and offering to just meet them somewhere local and pick up the camera if they would prefer. They reply with equal astonishment and amusement and agree to meet at a coffee shop for the hand-off.

We meet and share another laugh about the situation, and they even refund me the shipping charge in cash.