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Let This Be The Winter Of Your Content

, , , , , , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

I’m looking to buy a digital camera as a gift for a friend who I know needs one. The camera I have is very good and I know it would suit my friend’s needs, so I’m looking for another one online. I find a seller on [Auction Website] selling a new one for a good price with cheap shipping, so I order it right away.

I live in a relatively small town in North Dakota, and the winters can be pretty harsh, so I think nothing of it when I get an email from the seller about the camera, telling me that the shipment may be delayed due to a bad winter storm in their area. I reply, saying that it’s fine and I understand, as my area is also currently experiencing a bad winter storm.

Out of curiosity, I navigate to the seller’s page to see where they are shipping from. To my surprise, they are shown as being in the same small North Dakota town I’m in! And somehow, neither of us noticed this before.

I have a laugh and email the seller again, pointing out the funny coincidence, and offering to just meet them somewhere local and pick up the camera if they would prefer. They reply with equal astonishment and amusement and agree to meet at a coffee shop for the hand-off.

We meet and share another laugh about the situation, and they even refund me the shipping charge in cash.

Bad Behavior And Gross Judgment

, , , , , | Working | August 27, 2021

I go to a fast food restaurant for a late-night snack. I get there about forty minutes before they close. When I get in, I see a young woman in uniform mopping the floor in the dining area and attempting some… erotic… dance moves with the mop. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else in the restaurant, so after a minute, I call out to the woman to let her know I’m inside. She doesn’t seem to hear me, so I start to walk closer and realize that she has earbuds in her ears. As I reach out to tap her shoulder and get her attention, she turns around, sees me behind her, and gets startled.

Woman: “What are you doing? Enjoying the show, pervert?”

Me: “No, I’m trying to order some food.”

Woman: “Nice try! We’re closed.”

Me: “The sign on the door says you close at midnight. It’s only 11:20 right now.”

Woman: “Well, too bad. I don’t serve perverts who break in and ogle me like that. You need to leave now.”

Me: “Is there a manager I can talk to?”

Woman: “Nope. Just me. You’re lucky I’m letting you just leave instead of calling the cops on you for breaking in and sexually assaulting me.”

Me: *Shouting* “HELLO! IS ANYONE BEHIND THE COUNTER?”

The woman’s face falls when a manager comes out of the employee office.

Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

Me: “Your employee said you were closed, even though the hours on the door show that you’re still open for half an hour.”

Manager: “[Woman], is that true?”

Woman: “He was trying to grab me, so I wasn’t going to serve him.”

Me: “I wasn’t grabbing you, I was going to tap your shoulder because you had earbuds in and didn’t hear me calling you.”

Manager: “[Woman]… were you wearing earbuds and dancing while you cleaned again?”

Woman: “I need to practice! I have a show tomorrow night!”

Manager: “Why don’t you grab your stuff and go home? You’ve caused too many problems lately, and I’m tired of dealing with all your made-up complaints about customers, and the real complaints about you from customers.”

The woman tries to argue for a bit but gives up and storms to the back office. The manager finally turns to me.

Manager: “I’m sorry about that. You’re obviously not the first person she’s done this to. She’s just causing drama. Her show is tomorrow night on stage at [Local Gentlemen’s Club], if you want to see her again. Honestly, I don’t know why she always complains about guys staring at her when she makes a living putting herself out there like that. Now, what can I get for you?”

I suddenly wasn’t very hungry anymore.

Your TV Either Needs To Be Set Up Or Exorcised

, , , | Right | August 24, 2021

I work in the call center for an internet/TV service provider. A woman calls in to say that her TV isn’t working properly.

Friend: “Could you tell me what’s currently on your screen?”

Caller: “I don’t know! There’s a box with a bunch of words telling me to do things!”

Grocery Grossly Out Of Order

, , , | Right | May 27, 2021

I’m working in the electronics department. I have a small line of two or three people. As I am ringing out the first customer, I notice a man with a full cart of groceries walking up to the other register behind me. We are only supposed to ring up electronics items in this department, although we can bend this rule for people with just a couple of items if they are polite.

After I have finished helping the first and second customers and started ringing up a third…

Customer: *Angrily* “Hey, aren’t you going to help me?

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t see you there. Did you have a question?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting here for you to ring me up!

Me: “I’m so sorry, but as you can see, I’m ringing up electronics purchases on this side. If you take your groceries up to the main registers, I’m sure someone would be happy to ring you up!

Customer: “F*** you! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes; you’re gonna ring me up right here!”

Me: “Sir, only this register is open right now, and in any case, I’m not allowed to ring up products that aren’t from electronics.”

Customer: “F*** that! The lines are way too long! You should have been f****** paying attention so you could ring me up here!”

The other customers are getting uncomfortable as I continue to ring them up as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. As I said, I only have the one till open and I didn’t see you there. And even if I had, I couldn’t ring you out for groceries here, anyway.

Customer: “F*** you, you f****** b****! I’m gonna find a f****** manager and get your a** fired!

At this, he leaves angrily, knocking down a stack of returns on the counter.

Customer At Till: “Does that happen a lot?

Me: “Every day. That will be $67.46, please.”

This Spring Chicken Is Just Too Tender

, , , , , | Working | May 12, 2021

The restaurant I work at received a new hire who isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box. He is polite and shows the drive to help, but he can’t follow basic sanitary or cooking procedures that were recently explained to him. I am left to train him by myself one night. I’m trying to be as patient as I can, since many new hires don’t catch on as fast as others. The following events all occur within a fifteen-minute span.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], could you make me a run of tenders?”

Coworker: “No problem!”

Me: “Stop! Put your gloves on! Use the tongs!”

Our restaurant’s chicken tenders are breaded in-house. He was about to stick his bare hands into the raw chicken even though I lectured him on why that’s a terrible idea an hour ago. He comes back to the cooking table after getting the tenders in the deep fryer.

Me: “Just want to make sure: how many tenders did you drop?”

A “run” usually means ten.

Coworker: “I didn’t count. I just made everything that was in the pan. There were like twelve of them. Where can I get another pan of chicken to replace it?”

Me: “Good job! The tenders are in the cooler, in the far left corner.”

I pointed at the cooler door and motioned to him where the raw chicken was. He thanked me and then went into the freezer. I decided to let him figure it out on his own since orders were starting to come in. When the timer on the chicken went off, I moved to pull out the twelve tenders [Coworker] had made. There were six.

He came out of the freezer telling me he could only find frozen chicken. I reminded him I’d said the cooler and he entered the correct door this time, coming out with a new pan of chicken. Although I didn’t notice until later, he didn’t replace the pans properly and just set the new one — with the lid off — inside the old one.

He then asked if he could help me cook something. I asked him to take care of an order that had two of the same burger (and to get some gloves on). They were among the simplest to make and he had a cheat sheet in front of him. The first sandwich was made correctly with no input from me. When he was making the second one, I had to stop him from putting on extra ingredients that weren’t on the burger.

After getting the orders taken care of, I asked him to get me another batch of tenders to make up for the smaller than expected first batch. He gave his affirmation… and then went into the freezer to find another pan of chicken.

He was finally let go a week and a half later, after showing no improvements and openly admitting he didn’t care enough to memorize anything.