Unfiltered Story #193979

, , | Unfiltered | May 13, 2020

My coworker and I are pulling in the signs that sit outside our doors at our popular women’s plus sized clothing store. Two teenage boys around 14-15 years old walk by; we overhear them discussing what stores they can still get into even though the mall has clearly closed. They are within a few feet of my coworker and I when this happens:

Teen 1: *slows down by the display window* What store is this? Can we go in?

Teen 2: *Glances at the window then keeps walking* Nah. Clothes. Boring.

Teen 1: Their door is still open! What is this store?

Teen 2: *Looks up at sign* Oh! Dude, no, it’s all the fat lady clothes!!

*Both teens snicker and start walking down the hall*

Me: *Loudly, smiling brightly* Hey, your mom shops here!!

The kids’ eyes grew wide and they laughed as they took off running down the hall.

My coworker and I were SO tired of fat jokes that we would hear all day long and I couldn’t take it anymore! Luckily my coworkers all laughed.

If They Had Been Having An Affair, Did She Think They’d Admit It?

, , , , , | Working | April 30, 2020

We have had a new counselor start with our agency who is one of the most socially awkward people I have ever met. She asks inappropriate questions, talks about weird topics, and is just generally odd.

Our agency has two separate locations that meet weekly for meetings. My husband works on one team and I work on the other. We are very conscious about not showing that we are together and at the max, we occasionally sit next to each other. While we don’t just come out and tell new hires we are married, most people figure it out due to us having the same last name.

The new hire is in our boss’s office when I walk by and she asks me a question.

New Hire: “Hey, [My Name], are you and [My Husband] having an affair?”

I stop and for a moment I’m unsure what to say. My boss is momentarily stunned, as well. I finally manage a response.

Me: “Uh, no. We’re actually married. To each other.”

[New Hire] thinks for a moment.

New Hire: “Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense. I saw you sitting next to each other at the meeting.”

My boss was trying really hard not to laugh and waved me out of her office. I heard her telling [New Hire] that that was a “completely inappropriate” thing to ask.

My husband found it hysterical, as did our coworkers. I’ve been asked many times if my husband and I are together, but never like that!

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Outsmarted By A Five- Or Six-Year-Old

, , , , , , | Right | April 30, 2020

I am stocking an aisle in the grocery store. Our store has a small cafe where children aged five and under eat for free. I overhear a mother talking to her young son.

Mother: “Remember, [Son], we’re pretending you’re five, okay?”

Son: “But, Mommy, I’m six!”

Mother: “Yes, but let’s pretend, okay?”

Son: “Does this mean I don’t need to go to school tomorrow?”

Mother: “What? No! Of course, you need to go to school.”

Son: “But six-year-olds go to school. Five-year-olds stay home and play!”

Mother: “Well, tomorrow, you’ll be six.”

Son: “So, tomorrow is my birthday?!”

Mother: “What? No—”

Son: “Yay! Presents!”

She paid for his meal.

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It’s Not Just His Map That’s Upside Down

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work in a call center for a company that mostly sells vitamins and supplements among other things. On a very slow day, I receive this call. 

Caller: *Loudly* “Where are you guys located?”

Me: “In North Dakota, sir.”

Caller: “Where the h*** is that? Never heard of no North Dakoteeeee.”

Me: “It’s south of Canada, between Montana and Minnesota.”

Caller: “Oh, you’re in Mexico, then? I don’t want no non-white people talking to me.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. Wrong border. We’re in the northern plain states of the United States. Mexico is south of the United States. Canada is north.”

Caller: “Bull. This is not what this map says. It says Mexico is north and Canadeeeee is south.”

Me: “I apologize, sir, but it’s just the opposite. Could your map possibly be upside down?”

Caller: “I know what I’m talking about. F*** you… you [slur] moron! I’m never calling Mexico again. Bye, b****!”

After he hung up, I went on break. I couldn’t stop laughing and shaking my head.

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Unfiltered Story #187061

, , | Unfiltered | February 26, 2020

I am working at the money transfer desk at a popular blue superstore. A young couple walks up with baby in tow.
Me: How can I help you today?
Customer: Yes can I get [service 1]
Me: Sure! *Asks for info required for [service 1]*
Customer: Why are you asking for that? I just need [service 2]
Me: *Cheerily* Oh I thought you said [service 1], let me get [service 2] started for you then!
Customer: *Angry* What don’t you understand??? I need [service 3]
Me: *Still trying to be nice and cheery* OK well then lets just go ahea-
She cuts me off and talks to the manager, who happened to be walking behind me.
Customer: *to the manager* Can we get someone to help us who actually knows what they are doing?!
(I take extreme offence to this, not only because I have been very polite to them while they were rude to me, but I had made a big effort to learn everything that I could, and was widely recognized as one of the best employees at this location)
Manager: *looks at the situation briefly* Whats going on? I believe (My Name) would be the best person to help you here.
Customer: No! He keeps trying to do the wrong thing! We just want [service 4] and he keeps trying to sell us [service 2]!
(Note that [service 4] is quite complicated and I know for a fact that the manager does not know how to do it)
Manager: Well alright (My name) go ahead and do [service 4]
Customer: No we want someone who knows what they are doing!
(At this point I’ve had enough. I turn to the manager)
Me: No
(I turned around and walked away, leaving the manager to deal with them. I got a snack and had a nice paid break! And I later learned that they actually needed [service 5])