Off The Clock And On To The Chopping Block

, , , , , | Working | July 26, 2019

(I am a cashier at a big box retailer. Our longtime front-end manager has retired recently. His successor is a young blonde woman in her late twenties. I meet her on her first day and she seems like a very sweet and enthusiastic person, even taking an almost immediate liking to me. The next day, I’m off, and I’m shopping for my family when she approaches me.)

Manager: *smiling* “Hey, how are you doing?”

Me: “Very well, thank you.”

Manager: “Hey, do you think you could get on register four? We’re getting swamped in here.”

Me: “I can’t. I’m shopping.”

Manager: “Well, we’re really busy and the lines are getting long. I really do need you over there.”

Me: “It’s my day off! I’m not even in uniform!”

Manager: *no longer smiling* “You don’t have a choice in the matter, and I do not like this attitude of yours. Get on register four, now. That is an order.”

Me: “With all due respect, you cannot make me work off the clock.”

Manager: *now yelling* “Again with your attitude! Go to the office! Now! I’ll deal with you later!”

(I head to the store director’s office.)

Store Director: “[My Name]? What are you doing back here? Is something wrong?”

Me: “Apparently, I’m in trouble.”

Store Director: “What do you mean? I thought you weren’t scheduled today.”

Me: “I wasn’t; that’s the point! I was just here shopping when [Manager] sent me back here.”

(Just then the front end manager comes storming in.)

Manager: *screaming* “I’m sick and tired of your attitude and refusal to do as you’re told! You’re fired!

Store Director: “Whoa, whoa! Hold the phone! First and foremost, [Manager], you do not yell at anyone in this store. Second, what exactly are you firing [My Name] for?”

Manager: “I’m firing him for insubordination! He wasn’t getting on register when I told him to!”

Store Director: “Oh, really? Did it ever occur to you that [My Name] wasn’t even scheduled today, and that maybe he was just here to shop?”

Manager: “I don’t care! His job is to do as he’s told!”

Store Director: “And you essentially told him to break the law and work off the clock. You cannot fire him for refusing to do that, and even if for some reason you could, it would have to go through me and I still wouldn’t allow it.” *to me* “Sorry about that, [My Name]. You can go about your business now. I’m going to have a word in private with [Manager]. Hope your day gets better! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Me: “You, too!”

(I left the office and finished my shopping. As I was checking out, the front end manager emerged from the office cursing out loud and stormed out the front door. When I came to work the following day, she was nowhere to be seen. I later learned she was fired that day for intentionally violating federal labor laws. It just goes to show you that sometimes sweetness and enthusiasm are only skin-deep. Thankfully, her replacement wasn’t a demon inside like she was.)

1 Thumbs

Have No Interest In Your Rate

, , , | Legal | July 25, 2019

(I start getting a bunch of calls from an unknown number. The first time, they leave no message. The second and third times, they leave a message saying they are from my mortgage company to talk to me about refinancing my home. I look up the number and just as I suspected, it is a scam. The fourth time they call, I answer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, [My Name], I’m [Caller] from [Loan Company]. I’m calling in regards to your mortgage. We told you a while ago that we would contact you if there was a chance we could get you a better rate. Do you plan on moving anytime soon, or do you plan on staying in your one-family home?”

Me: “I plan on staying.”

Caller: “Oh. Well then, do you have time you talk about refinancing? The market’s doing really well right now and we can likely get you down to a lower interest rate and payment.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Caller: “Yes. Based on your excellent payment history, we can bring it down to about five and a half if you were to refinance.”

Me: “Really?”

Caller: “Of course!”

Me: “I don’t believe you, because this is a scam.”

Caller: “No, ma’am, it’s not.”

Me: “Yes, it is, because if you were really looking at my mortgage, you’d see my interest rate is currently four percent.”

1 Thumbs

Even Some Dogs Wear Shoes…

, , , , | Right | July 24, 2019

(I work at an animal shelter. There’s a dad with several children visiting with a dog. The dad is holding a toddler, who isn’t wearing shoes. I’m not super concerned since the child is so young and may not be walking around, but one of the other children — six or seven — is running around the room also not wearing shoes. I poke my head in the room.)

Me: “Hi! Does he have shoes in the car that he can put on?”

Dad: *looks at me like I’m crazy and answers very rudely* “NO!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t have him walking around without shoes.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s unsanitary, both for you and the dogs.”

Dad: “Aren’t there bigger problems in American than a kid not wearing shoes?”

Me: “Not right here, right now.”

(I got a coworker in another department. She told me she spoke to him and eventually got them to leave, but he ended up ranting about the government for a while first.)

1 Thumbs

Working At Your Panic Station

, , , , , , | Working | July 24, 2019

(I have PTSD and, while I’ve learned to cope with it fairly well, I can still have an episode now and then. Thankfully, I’m pretty good at telling when it’s coming. My managers know about this and are more than happy to let me take a quick break when I feel a panic attack coming on — all but one. We’ll call her “Bratty,” thanks to her attitude when she thinks people are faking it, which is often.)

Me: *talking to a customer when I feel an attack coming on* “Hey, [Coworker], can you cover me while I take a few to gather myself? I’m feeling panicky and I want to stop it before I’m in a full-blown panic attack.”

Bratty: “She’s busy. You can wait.”

(I’m in the back window so I can’t see up front. I have to take her word for it.)

Me: “Just sometime soon. I don’t want to go home because I couldn’t calm down in time.”

(Time slowly ticks by as I feel myself falling into a panic attack more and more. I try breathing, but it isn’t helping. I continue to ask for help, but Bratty denies me. Finally, I burst into panicked sobs and shut down.)

Me: *barely through stutters and sobs* “I can’t… Someone…”

(I rush to the back and immediately collapse to my knees. After that, it gets kind of hazy but my coworker tells me what happened.)

Bratty: “What is [My Name] doing?! She needs to get her lazy a** back to work!”

Customer: *pulls up and sees Bratty yelling* “Excuse me! That poor girl back there is having a f****** panic attack and you say she’s lazy?! Mental health is important! Go back there and help her!”

(My coworker covered my spot while my manager came back to get me. During this time, the general manager walked in. Suddenly, I screeched. Everyone rushed to the back to see Bratty trying to jerk me back up as I kicked and screamed. The general manager jerked her away from me and dragged her into the office before coming to help. After I’d calmed down and come to, they asked if I want to pursue a case against Bratty. Still in a daze, I said no and went home. When I came back, Bratty was on suspension. The general manager was scared that I would want to press charges because I had a known disability and Bratty refused a reasonable accommodation and then assaulted me. I told him I wouldn’t press charges but I would not work with her again until she was trained on disabilities. He agreed and she was put on night shift for a few months while she was retrained on everything.)

1 Thumbs

Your Boobs Are Practically Volcanic Today

, , , , | Romantic | July 22, 2019

(My wife is nine months pregnant and is trying on new nursing bras in the bedroom. I’m sitting by the door, but in the living room.)

Wife: “Our bedroom smells like farts for some reason.”

Me: “Okaaaaay?”

Wife: “Wait, I think it’s just the plastic from my new bra.”

Me: “That… only raises more questions.”

(A few seconds later she comes out and basically pushes her chest in my face.)

Wife: “Random question: does my boob smell sulfury to you?”

1 Thumbs