The Family Versus The Reagan Administration

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 27, 2017

(My husband and I have four children. They all look very similar, and they all have red hair. Though my husband and I are both gingers, we are about twenty years apart in age. He has two grown daughters with children who also go to school with our children. As a result of scheduling, one of my stepdaughters usually drops off the two school-aged children at school and picks them up. While the teachers have seen me, they have rarely seen my husband, who has a strange work schedule. On this day my stepdaughter has been asked to come inside and wait, as they need to speak to someone about my oldest son. I have never met the new assistant principal, but I know the principal well.)

Principal: “This is a very serious matter and we need to speak with a guardian right away. As you are listed as his aunt, we need to speak to you.”

Step-Daughter: “I’m actually not his—”

Principal: “Your nephew was totally disrespectful of his teacher, and his refusal to complete an assignment comes with a three-day suspension. I must say that I am disappointed in [Son].”

Step-Daughter: *not really buying it* “Okay, first of all, I have no authority to discuss this with you, as I said. I called my stepmother to come in because I’m not handling this.”

Principal: “Listen, we don’t have his grandmother on the contact list, but we have you. We can’t speak to her about it. Call his mother instead.”

Step-Daughter: “I did. If you would just list—”

Principal: “I have half a mind to call his father! This was not only an insult, but he was blatantly disrupting the class.”

(I walk in with my husband in tow. Grandkids and children are seated all over the office looking bored and annoyed. I go in and have a seat.)

Step-Daughter: “Mr. [Principal], this is [My Name], [Son]’s mom.”

Principal: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can only speak to his mother. I cannot speak to his grandmother and grandfather.”

(I am stunned, because I am younger than my husband, and I look it!)

Me: “Um, Mr. [Principal], I am his mother. Now, what exactly did he do?”

Principal: *clears throat* “The students were required to write the presidents that were in office when their parents were born. It was designed to get them interested in government. Your son stubbornly refused to change the president he listed in office for his father. He put Lyndon B. Johnson. He was instructed to change it to Reagan like he had for you.”

Me: *laughs* “He was right. His father was born in 1966. You wrote him up for being right?”

Principal: *turns red* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are mistaken. That would make his father in his fifties.”

Husband: *raises hand* “That would be me.”

Principal: “I thought he was the grandfather?! Who has kids at that age?”

(He still tried to suspend my son, and the AP kept insisting that we were wrong about the date. The principal set him straight and my son was not punished.)

It’s Halal, Not Ha-LOL

, , , | Healthy | November 23, 2017

(I am a white teenage girl, just admitted to a ward and I am asleep. The nurse saw me come in with a t-shirt and jeans even though now I’m in a normal hospital gown.)

Dad: “Can my daughter get special meals?”

Nurse: “What kind? Is it an allergy?”

Dad: “She’s Muslim and needs halal food.”

Nurse: *odd look* “Muslim?”

Dad: “Yes.”

Nurse: “That’s ridiculous. She didn’t wear a hijab.”

Dad: “She rarely does, but she is Muslim.”

Nurse: “Then she isn’t really Muslim. She just plays dress up and has a fad diet like all teenagers.” *starts leaving*

Dad: “Oi! She is Muslim and needs halal food. She’s strict about that.”

Nurse: “Yeah, right.”

(My dad gave up and found another nurse who understood and made sure I got halal meals. It could have been much worse.)

Unfiltered Story #100588

, | Unfiltered | November 22, 2017

(I am calling an old client to confirm an address for a check to be sent. Note that it has been over a year since we last spoke with them. The phone rings once before a long beep and a man’s voice answers, incoherent at first. When I can finally make it out…)
Voice: …commune with the dead. if you would like to seek guidance on communing with the dead, you should-
(I hung up immediately)

This Customer Isn’t Even Remotely Right

, , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m checking a couple into their room when the woman informs me they’re here on a trip with their church and are “top people” in their church. She comes down from her room 30 minutes later.)

Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Guest:Remote! This isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, let me get you fresh batteries.”

(I get her the batteries, but she comes back down ten minutes later. By now, it’s 5:00 pm and I have three guests in line I’m checking in.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’re in room—”

Guest: *storms up to the desk, cutting in front of the line* “THIS REMOTE IS STILL NOT WORKING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you can wait until I check this man in, I’ll get you a new remote. Or I can bring it to your room when I’m finished here.”

Guest: *doesn’t move from the desk, and is pacing back and forth and almost breathing down my neck* “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe the idiots they hire; I should be helped immediately!”

(She begins muttering profanities under her breath.)

Guest: “WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME NOW?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the only staff member on site for this shift, and we are at full capacity. I promise I’ll help you as soon as I can.”

Guest: “FINE. I GUESS I’LL JUST STARE AT THE CEILING!”

(She then throws her remote control at me as hard as possible. It hits my shoulder.)

Me: “I suggest you apologize, pack your things, and leave, or I’ll call the cops. You just assaulted me. I’m allowed to refuse you service now, and I think that’d be the best decision.”

(The guest laughed and walked up to her room. She was escorted out by police an hour later. Moral of the story: your employer may use the “customer is always right” motto, but if a customer insults, harasses, or attacks you, you DO have the right to refuse service. It is illegal to be forced to serve someone berating you. If employees around the world allow customers to verbally or physically attack them, then customers will always think it’s okay to do so.)

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Checkout This Idiot!

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m in the self-checkout area at one of the few stores in town, starting to ring up my purchases. I see a woman at another station who seems not to understand what she’s doing, despite looking at most thirty.)

Scanner: “Please place the item in the bagging area. Please place the item in the bagging area.”

(She just stands there, holding her box of cereal, stomping her feet, and glaring toward the clerk station.  The clerk sees her, comes over, and gives a brief explanation to the impatient woman.  After tapping the “not bagging this item” button, the clerk returns to her post and the woman puts her box back into her cart amongst her unscanned items. I turn back to my groceries, when…)

Scanner: “Please place the item in the bagging area. Please place the item in the bagging area.”

(This woman made the poor clerk walk back over to hit the same button for every single item scanned, and was still glaring and scanning as I paid and left. I purchased more than twice as many items as she did, but finished a lot quicker.)

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