About To Get A Cash-Back Attack

, , , | Right | September 19, 2017

(I’m running the self-checkout service. Keep in mind that payment type is selected by the customer and not by me.)

Customer: “It didn’t let me get cash back! It just skipped right by it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You must have accidentally chosen credit. If you need cash back, you can get something small like a pack of gum and run your card again. Would you sign here please?”

Customer: “No! I don’t have a credit card!”

Me: “I still need you to sign here please.”

Customer: “I don’t have a credit card! Why do I have to sign?”

Me: “The system requires that I get your signature.”

Customer: “But I don’t have a credit card! Is it going to charge me twice?”

Me: “No, ma’am, it won’t. Please sign here.”

(She finally signs and I think it’s over, but after she places her bags into her cart, she turns back to me.)

Customer: “I don’t have a credit card! That is not customer service! That is not customer service! I should never have come here! That is not customer service!”

(She stormed away, but had to turn around because her car was in the other direction. I’m still not sure how her mistake had anything to do with my customer service.)

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No Recouping For Rudeness

, , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(I am working the register just after Christmas. Since there is a lull, I step onto the floor to help a woman looking at the jeans that are marked down.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, do you need any help finding anything?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: *trying to be nice, about to offer the woman a store coupon for 20% off her purchase* “Well, we have some more of these jeans on the wall and—”

Customer: “Mind your own business! I’m from out of town!”

(The woman continued to rant about nosy store employees and walked off. I never once asked where she was from. Needless to say, she didn’t get the coupon.)

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Making A Mocha-ry Of Listening

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2017

(I work morning shifts at a very popular drive-thru over my winter break to get money for school. Unfortunately, this morning our coffee machine does not start up properly, so our manager is taking a look at it.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “Yes, ma’am, can I get a sausage biscuit and a hot mocha with whole milk?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our coffee machine is down right now. Would you still like the biscuit?”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: *thinks she didn’t hear me, so I repeat myself*

Customer: “But that’s stupid! Why isn’t working?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. Our manager is looking at it now.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, let’s see… can I get a latte?”

Me: “…”

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Ducks Make Most Things Better

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2017

(It’s 0700 and the base adjutant arrives to relieve me as Officer Of The Day. Fortunately nothing bad happened on my watch, but a string of petty, annoying incidents kept me busy all night. This particular officer is known for her literal-mindedness. I hand the logbook over.)

Adjutant: “Everything quiet?”

Me: “Mostly, ma’am; nothing major, just a lot of penny-ante stuff. You know, nibbled all night by ducks.”

Adjutant: *astonished* “We have ducks?”

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Unfiltered Story #93693

, , | Unfiltered | September 13, 2017

*Me and my roommate are in North Carolina on vacation. We stop in a local town for coffee. There is no Starbucks, but there is a small coffee shop that we go to instead*

Employee: What can I get you today?

Me: Just a black coffee, thanks.

Employee: *looking at roommate* And for you?

Roommate: *looking at phone* A vanilla frappuccino.

Employee: Excuse me?

Roommate: *still looking at phone* A vanilla frappuccino

Me: (Roomate), this isn’t Starbucks.

Roommate: *looks up, realizing that we are, in fact, not in Starbucks* Oh! I’m so sorry! I’m so used to Starbucks! Can I have a black coffee?

Employee: *smiling* Sure thing!

*(Roommate) apologized again when we got our coffee. Next time, look around!*