Unfiltered Story #107413

, , , | Unfiltered | March 20, 2018

(I just got done ringing up the order of a presumably Mexican man and on my next customer, a black woman. My guess is that she heard me struggling to understand his order due to his thick accent and got impatient.)

Customer: “He needs to learn how to speak English, especially if he wants to live here.”

Me: “Well, he ordered in English.”

Customer: “Better English.”

Of Mice And Men And Cats And Boyfriends

, , , , , , | Romantic | March 17, 2018

(My boyfriend and I are hanging out, watching anime. Of note, my boyfriend is a couple years older than me. Predictably, my cat decides that he really, really needs to be the center of attention.)

Me: *hugging cat* “I got you. You’re trapped. No escape.”

(My cat wriggles free and runs off, but is back on my lap within 30 seconds.)

Boyfriend: *laughs*

Me: *hugging cat again* “I’m gonna love him, and feed him, and name him George!”

(As my cat once again escapes me, I see that my boyfriend has a confused look on his face.)

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “You’re not old enough to get that joke!”

Me: “Uh, no, it was assigned reading back in high school.”

Boyfriend: “Wait, what?”

Me: “Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men? Lenny and George?”

(My boyfriend just looks even more confused.)

Me: “Or are you thinking of the Looney Toons jokes referencing it?”


Me: “It’s older than your parents.”

Boyfriend: “…”

Cat: *trying to put his butt on my face* “MREOW!”

Must Have Been Some Pun-ishing Sex

, , , , , , | Romantic | March 13, 2018

(My husband and I have a ten-month-old daughter. I’m sitting with her while she plays with some toys. She has one of those cubes where you put the different shaped blocks in the different shaped holes. She’s not good at using the shaped holes yet, but there’s a larger opening for getting the blocks out, so she puts them and other small toys in the cube all the time. The baby puts a yellow ball in a purple cup.)

Husband: “She likes putting things in that purple cup.”

Me: “She likes putting things in other things in general.” *motions towards the cube*

Husband: “Well, so do we. That’s how we got her.”

Me: “…”

Husband: *smiles*

A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 5

, , , , | Right | March 11, 2018

(I am at the end of a long Saturday pizza delivery shift. I ring the doorbell at one home, and a man comes to the door, yelling to his family:)

Customer: “Pizza’s here!”

(A little girl, maybe three years old, joins her dad at the door. When she sees me, her eyes grow wide, and she says:)

Girl: “I love the pizza man!”

(She then hugs my right leg with all her might. That little sweetie made my whole week!)

A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 4
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 3
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 2

Introducing A Wonderful Situation

, , , , | Hopeless | March 4, 2018

I was working at an independent non-profit animal shelter. We’d gotten a few new adult dogs in that day. A man came in to visit and found a dog that he liked. He filled out the application and said he’d be back later in the day so his wife could meet the dog. This is common and usually goes fine, so mentally I figured that dog would be going home that day.

When the wife came in, they visited with the dog, but then the wife asked to visit with another dog. So, the husband was in one room with the first dog, and the wife was in another room with a different dog. They went back and forth between the two rooms. I thought that the wife must have changed his mind, and they’d be taking home the other one instead. Not a big deal, though I was starting to feel kind of sorry for the first dog. But then the couple came up to a coworker and me and asked, “Could we introduce these two dogs? We’d kind of like to take them both home.” We said we’d be happy to do it, but it was a busy dinner shift, so they’d have to wait a little bit. The couple was very patient, and spent their time visiting with the two dogs individually.

After a little while, my coworker and I were able to take the dogs to a play area and introduce them. They were immediately friendly and playful! They started running around the play area. They got along great, and the couple took two dogs home that day.

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