That’s A Whole Lotta Worship

, , , , , | Working | December 25, 2017

(I’m a minister. I work as a chaplain in a nursing home. It’s four days before Christmas and I’m halfway through about a 60-hour week.)

Coworker: *eyes wide, huge smile* “Are you READY for CHRISTMAS?!”

Me: *gentle chuckle* “Well, that depends on what you mean by Christmas.”

Coworker: “Are you READY to CELEBRATE the birth of our LORD AND SAVIOR?!”

Me: “Well, I’m ready to lead eight worship services in two days.” *I work at several nursing homes*

Coworker: “…oh.”

Unfiltered Story #102122

, | Unfiltered | December 24, 2017

(I have spoken with a woman earlier this day who thought that our prices for a consult were a little high. I offer her the number of the state lawyer referral service as they will refer to attorneys and will charge about half of what we do. I tell her to call back if they can’t help though and we will still be happy to help her. The phone rings and it’s the same lady)
Customer: Hi, I called earlier and you gave me that referral number and they were very rude to me! They even hung up on me!
Me: Oh, I’m sorry about that! I’d be happy to set something up with one of the attorneys for you as we discussed previously.
Customer: I can’t believe you would refer people to them!
Me: Again, I’m very sorry. We are not associated with them, but I’d be happy to help you now.
Customer: She didn’t even listen to what I was saying!
Me: I apologize you had such a bad experience.
Customer: You should know about this if you refer people to them! I am going to file a BBB complaint against them!
Me: Well, they are operated through the state bar association, so you could probably speak to them. Would you like to set something up like we talked about previously!
Customer: Yes, I’d like to set something up for the day we talked about, but I need to check my work calendar and call you back.
Me: ….Sure, we’ll be here the rest of the day.
(She still hasn’t called back. I understand being annoyed, but there was nothing I could do about the situation.)

Scoops Of Kindness Are Priceless

, , , , , | Hopeless | December 19, 2017

(I work at a bookstore chain that owns a calendar company. From October through January we all dutifully take shifts at the kiosk in the mall. It is boring, but hey, we get to read the calendars! I’m working and it’s been pretty slow. The customers we have had have all been either rushed or rude so it’s been a hard day. Towards the middle of my shift a lady and her daughter come up bearing ice cream cones. They’re about the 20th group I’ve seen with ice cream.)

Me: “Hi, welcome! Can I help you find anything?”

Mom: “I think we’re just going to look! Thanks, though!”

Me: “Everyone seems to have ice cream today. What’s going on?”

Daughter: “Oh, [Company] downstairs is having a ‘$1 a scoop’ sale!”

Me: “Aw, man, sweet! Too bad I work till closing; I love their mint chip.”

(We talk a bit more as they look around and they leave. It was nice to have such friendly customers. About 20 minutes later I see them heading back towards my kiosk… an extra, green ice cream scoop in hand.)

Daughter: “Here, since you have to work!”

(I just stand there speechless.)

Mom: “Oh, go on, take it! I remember what retail is like during the holidays!”

(She hands me the ice cream cone and they both walk away with a very happy “Merry Christmas!” To this day it still brings tears to my eyes to think of them! Thanks for making my week, whoever you were!)

Has Some Real Chutzpah Asking For That

, , , , , , | Related | December 19, 2017

(My half-sister and her family celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah.)

Sister: *to my nephew* “What do you want for Chanukah this year?”

Nephew: “Santa!”

Perfect Portrait Of A Substitute Teacher

, , , , , | Learning | December 12, 2017

(I’m in eighth grade. At our school, everyone has a free period that lasts about half an hour. During this time, you can have a study hall period or join a club. I join an art club. I walk into the room and see an older male sub sitting at the teacher’s desk. We all settle down and wait for instruction.)

Substitute Teacher: *being totally serious* “So, [Regular Teacher] is out today, in case you couldn’t tell. I am not [Regular Teacher], because she is a young, married lady. I am not any of those things.”

(My friends and I are looking at each other and trying not to laugh.)

Substitute Teacher: *still being serious* “She didn’t leave any plans, and I don’t feel like thinking, so you can have a study hall. Do homework, play computer games, nap, meditate…”

(By now, the whole class is giggling. We try to hide it to be respectful.)

Substitute Teacher: *still serious* “I don’t have roll paper thingy for you guys, so I’m going to pass around a sheet of paper. Please keep the paper in portrait form. Write your names in a list, each one parallel to the prior one. Some people may drop the paper. In this case, the top may become the bottom and the bottom may become the top. If this happens, carefully proceed to pick up the sheet of paper and continue writing your name under everyone else’s. If you drop the paper, it may also flip from portrait to landscape. If this happens, make sure you return the paper to its original position before continuing to write your name.”

Me: “We’re in eighth grade! We should know how to write our names in a list and pick up a sheet of paper by now.”

Substitute Teacher: *flustered* “Well, I didn’t have a good childhood, and I didn’t know, so there’s no need to be disrespectful, young lady.”

(He proceeded to pass around the paper and then meditated throughout the class. My friends and I were laughing so hard. That’s probably the best encounter I’ve ever had with a sub.)

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