From The Floor To The Corps

, , , , , | Related | September 24, 2019

(I am holding my two-month-old, and she’s getting to the point where she’s “trying” to stand up… so I help her stand. I served in the Marine Corps.) 

Me:  “Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door.”

Two-Month-Old: *big, smiling grin*

Wife: *glares at me* “Can we let her be a princess for a bit before she becomes a Marine?”

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Okay… Rude!

, , , | Right | September 17, 2019

(I am working at a copy and print store. One day, we have a particularly busy day. There are several long lines of people and unfortunately, people have been waiting for quite a while, even with several people manning the counters. A young woman finally gets to my counter.)

Customer: “I need something printed.”

Me: “Sure! What exactly is it?”

(She gives me the specifics of her order.)

Me: “Okay, no problem, but there may be a wait since we’re having such high volume. Something like that will probably take us 20 to 30 minutes.”

(She starts to get visibly upset and yells at me.)


Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but as you can see, we have quite a lot of people here and so, unfortunately, there is a small wait.”

(I’ll be happy to do it for you, but I can’t put off other people jobs that came ahead of you.)

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to take my business elsewhere and they’ll have it done quicker.” *turns to leave*

Me: “Uh… okay.”

(She turns back around.)

Customer: “You don’t have to be rude. You didn’t have to say, ‘Uh… okay.’ You should have said, ‘Thanks and have a nice day.’”

(I can sense that she’s about to walk back to me and begin yelling so I smile at her and say enthusiastically:)

Me: “Thanks and have a nice day!”

(Hopefully, I have effectively cut off what might have been a rant. I look at the next customer and again, enthusiastically say:)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?!”

(The woman huffed and ran off, passing more people on her way out, all of whom were very nice when they got their turn.)

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Unfiltered Story #163251

, , | Unfiltered | September 15, 2019

I’ve worked at a popular restaurant that serves off-the-wall pizzas and local brews for four years, and of all the nutty things I’ve heard from customers in that time, this one, that came from a very tall and thin middle-aged woman, takes the cake.

Customer: (to my coworker, at the register) I need to speak to a manager.

Coworker: Sure, but is there anything I can help you with?

Customer: It’s about my server, actually.

(My coworker gets our shift supervisor, who politely asks what she can do.)

Customer: Look, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you hire so many overweight girls to work here?

(The supervisor is a quick thinker but this catches even her off-guard. Within earshot, my coworker and I – two of the overweight girls in question, incidentally – exchange shocked glances.)

Customer: I mean, it’s not my business if they want to overeat, but my waitress is fat, and she’s stuffed into this tight T-shirt and daisy-dukes, and she’s…jiggling! They all are. I don’t want to see that while I’m trying to eat. It’s disgusting.

(We do have a relaxed dress code, and shorts are allowed so long as the inseam is at least 4 inches. This server’s shorts are probably 6″ or longer, and her T-shirt not clingy.)

Supervisor: (very politely) I really don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. [Server] is in proper uniform. And by the way, we choose our staff based on skills and work ethics, not on their appearance. She’s a great worker and she’s doing her best to make sure you and your party have a good time. I’m sorry that you’re offended, but there’s nothing we can do.

Customer: I want to move over there. (points to an empty table nearby, in a section where one of the slimmer servers is working)

Supervisor: That’s not going to happen. We’re on a 30-minute wait and we’re just about to seat a new party at that table.

Customer: … (pouting) I just don’t want to look at it while I’m eating. I know it’s none of my business…

Supervisor: (cheerfully) You’re absolutely right, ma’am. Thanks for your feedback, and have a great night!

(In the back, we vented our outrage by joking about sending the customer to [a national chain restaurant notorious for hiring servers based on appearance and figure], and about challenging the customer to a race across the dining room).

Playing Scrabble With Airlines Is A Costly Endeavour

, , , , , | Working | September 13, 2019

(I’m booking a flight for a friend to come to visit me in August 2019. There’s a convention that we both are interested in. This happens after I book the flight.)

Friend: “Uh… my last name is incorrect. It is missing an E at the end.”

Me: “Crap!”

(I immediately call the number it gives me to fix it with.)

Rep: “In order to fix everything, you will need to get the flight cancelled and rebooked.”

Me: “But I do not want to lose the tickets and wait for ten business days for a refund. It’s one letter… Let me talk to a supervisor, please. Nothing against you. I just want this fixed.”

Rep: “Please hold, and I will tell you now that they will give you the same advice.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I’m put on hold for twenty minutes. I finally get someone, but it sounds like the same person as before.)

Supervisor: “My agent told me you need a name changed, correct?”

Me: “No. Just adding one simple letter to the end.”

Supervisor: “Okay, well, as she told you, best to just cancel and get refunded.”

Me: “Can you call the airlines and talk to them?”

Supervisor: “I’ll see what I can do. Please hold.”

(More minutes of waiting only for her to return with this masterpiece:)

Supervisor: “They told me it will be almost a hundred dollars to add the E.”

Me: “Seriously?! One letter for a hundred dollars? Just leave it the way it is. I’ll figure it out later!”

(I hung up at the point and my friend decided to call. I just hope the name gets fixed!)

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This Is Neck-Breaking Work

, , , , | Right | September 6, 2019

(I am lying on a massage table at a new luxury full-service spa. I had a few glasses of wine while relaxing in the lounge area.) 

Masseuse: *manipulating neck* “How is that feeling?”

Me: *sighs* “Great!”

(A few minutes of quiet follows.)

Me: “Do you ever think to yourself, ‘I could totally snap this person’s neck and they would never see it coming.’?”

Masseuse: *awkward pause* “No.”

(Awkward silence.)

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