Daytime Soaps Make The Young Restless

, , , , , , , | Friendly | January 21, 2018

(My mum is going deaf. To counter this, she opts to put the TV on max volume. The computer is in the adjacent room, and my friends can clearly hear what my mum is watching through my headset. This is annoying for my friends and me, as we can’t hear ourselves think. Mum has opted to stay over at Granny’s tonight. The following conversation happens via a group text.)

Me: “Hey, guys, come on and play games with me! Let’s teamspeak!”

Friend #1: “No offence, but I don’t want to hear what happens to [Soap Character].”

Me: “My mum isn’t home.” *followed by a series of love-related emojis*

Friend #1: “I’m there!”

Friend #2: “Okay!”

Friend #3: “F*** yes!”

No Point Crying Over It

, , , , , , , | Related | January 8, 2018

(I’m watching a children’s animated film with my mum. There is a bit where our heroes are trying to get back to their kingdom and the boy resorts to pretend-crying at the wizard so he will help them.)

Boy Character: *unintelligible crying*

Mum: “What did he say?”

Me: “‘Wahwuhsob.'”

Mum: “Ah, I thought so.”

Taking A Shortcut Is A Jerk Reaction

, , , , , , | Related | December 17, 2017

(There is a lighted crossroads that my mum and I go through daily. On the corner of that junction is a pub with a carpark that opens up either side of the crossroads. If you wanted to avoid the lights, arguably you could drive through the car-park to the other side, as it would cut them out. However, the children’s playground of the pub is literally just off the car-park so children are often in it, as well, and there are signs everywhere threatening fines if you do that. Plus, it’s a jerk move. Mum and I have lined up at the crossroads in the lane turning left, and are in a small queue of traffic with a Ford at the front with a number of cars queuing behind us. The car in front of us — who earlier cut us off — decides to turn into the car-park.)

Me: “He’s going through the car-park, I bet.”

(He goes fairly slowly through the car-park, but he definitely is heading towards the other exit. Our light turns green, and we all start slowly filing around the corner.)

Mum: *under her breath* “Speed up, Ford.”

(I look at her and see she’s keeping half an eye on the driver who is trying to use the car-park as a shortcut.)

Mum: “Go on, just a little faster.”

(The Ford seems to hear us, and does speed up. He blocks the pub exit, meaning the driver has to wait for all of us to go past before he can go out.)

Mum: “Stare him down, [My Name].”

(I did so whilst cackling. He was not impressed.)

That Should Perk(ins) You Up A Little Bit

, , , , | Friendly | December 9, 2017

(I look similar to the comedian Sue Perkins to the point where random people I don’t know comment on it. I’ve found out that two-thirds of the employees of the company I work for, including me, are either going to be made redundant. As it’s early days, no one at the company knows what’s actually going to happen to us, including the people who have made this decision. My biggest issue with the entire situation is the fact I had just felt like I had gotten my life back on track after a nasty period of time, and that has been taken from me. I’ve been messaging a friend about it, when she decides to call me. We have a bit of a conversation when this happens:)

Friend: “Just remember, though, there is only one you in the world, and no one can replace you.”

Me: “Sue Perkins.”

Friend: *pause* “Well… That’s a pretty good replacement, to be fair.”

Not Insured Against Bad Attitudes

, , , | Healthy | December 4, 2017

(I am currently working front desk at a private practice doctor’s office. I answer phones, schedule patients, do referrals, etc. This exchange occurs over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Doctor]’s office. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Patient: *with a snarky attitude* ”My name is [Patient] and I need to know if my medication has been approved by my insurance.”

(Sometimes certain medications need a prior authorization in order for the pharmacy to dispense the med. I tell the woman no problem and get her info so I can pull up her chart.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, it looks like it’s still being processed right now.”

Patient: *with even nastier attitude* “This is ridiculous. I need my medication.”

(I then look to see what medication she is talking about and it turns out it’s Zantac. This is an over-the-counter medicine that you can buy at any grocery or drug store.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but PAs can take anywhere from one to six weeks. Sometimes medications that can be purchased over-the-counter take longer.”


(I then forwarded the call to the doctor’s nurse who informed her that she would get to it as soon as possible, but since the patient’s medication was available over-the-counter, she has to work on the others that aren’t. She also gave her a list of stores and other medications that will help her problem if she needs it immediately. Seriously, just go to the store and get some.)

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