Like Father, Like Run

, , , , | Right | May 17, 2010

(A man brings in his father, who doesn’t speak a word of English.)

Customer: “Excuse me, how much are your rooms?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have rooms here.”

Customer: “Oh, not your room, sorry. I mean, how much does it cost for you to take care of my father?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “He has some issues and, frankly, I don’t think I want him around anymore.”

Me: “Sir, this is not a hotel or a nursing home.”

Customer: “This isn’t Social Services?”

Me: “No, this is [non-profit] Social Services, and we don’t offer what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “Look, how much is it going to cost me to leave here today without my father with me?”

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Mentally Pre(Car)ious

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2010

(I work for a non-profit counseling office.)

Caller: “My boyfriend dumped me and took his car back, so I want to get a car.”

Me: “Are you looking for financial assistance with a down payment?”

Caller: “No, I want a car. My friend told me that you people get donated cars and you give them to people who need them. I need one.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am afraid that’s not the case. We don’t have any sort of car or transportation programs at our agency.”

Caller: “Are you calling my friend a liar?”

Me: “No, I am simply stating a fact. Our agency does not, nor have we ever had a program where we gave out cars.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! Then what exactly is it that you DO do?”

Me: “We provide psychological counseling and community referrals. I could refer you to another agency that might be able to help you get a car.”

Caller: “I don’t need counseling! I NEED A FREE CAR! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

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