Addressing The Lack Of Addressing

, , , , , , | Working | August 23, 2019

(I start work as a temporary assistant for a non-profit; my main job is to help them prepare for a fundraiser that will be happening in the next week. Within my first day, it is clear that the main boss lady is a huge b****, and she has very clearly been bullying another of the employees. She more or less leaves me alone, other than a snide or frustrating comment here or there, but I’m pretty thick-skinned and I know it’s a temporary position, anyway, so I let most of them go. However, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable because a lot of employees, who I have never met, due to this being a temp job, keep coming to me to complain about the boss. None of this is a good sign, but I soldier on. The day of the fundraiser arrives. I ask them the whole day before if they want me to come help set up, but the boss lady keeps brushing me off. They’re literally walking to their cars when I ask for the final time if they want me to come. Then, this happens:)

Boss: “Oh, yeah, it would be good if you could come and help set up.”

Me: “Okay, cool! Can I have the address for the hotel to put in my GPS?”

Boss: “No, just get in my car.”

Me: “Um… I prefer to drive myself. That way I don’t have to bother you to drive me back to my car when I’ve exceeded my hours; I can just go. Can I have the address, please?”

Boss: *snottily* “Well, are you actually planning to show up?”

Me: “Yes, but I can’t if you won’t give me the address.”

Boss: “Just get in my car! It will be easier that way!”

Me: “No, I’m not getting in your car if you won’t even tell me where we’re going.”

Boss: *snottily, again* “You know, if you want to get paid, you actually have to work.”

Me: “I literally just need the address. I don’t know where the place is, and I prefer to drive myself.”

Boss: “I told you to get in my car!”

Me: “No.”

Boss: “Ugh, fine, you can stay here and enter the donations into [Program], then.”

(I have never heard of this program in my life, and it isn’t in the job description, either.) 

Me: “What’s [Program]?”

Boss: “Are you f****** kidding me? You don’t know [Program]? Fine! Go home, then! Just go home!”

(I’m a little upset at this point, but I turn around and start heading to my car to go home.)

Boss: “Where are you going?!”

(Finally, the boss’s daughter got out of her car and handed me a flyer with the address on it. That’s literally ALL I NEEDED. They drove off. I got in my car and considered actually going home since I really didn’t need to be treated like that, but then figured I needed the money so whatever, I’d help them set up and then go home. I helped them set up, and lo and behold, they were way too busy with the function when it was time for me to go to even say goodbye, so I doubt they would’ve bothered to drive me back to my car if I hadn’t driven myself. I would’ve just been trapped there. The next day, the lady who had been clearly bullied by the boss quit in a rage and stormed out. I called the temp agency and when I explained what happened they pulled me off the job immediately and told me they’d no longer send people there. Good riddance.)

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Does Your Pen Say “ACME” On The Side?

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2019

(I work for a nonprofit agency that runs professional licensing examinations. We still use paper applications, and among our rules is that the applications are signed or we will reject them. Although the instructions state they have to be in black or blue ink only, we are willing to accept any color ink, or pencil, or even crayon, as long as they are signed. One Friday afternoon, a young lady calls. I’ve had a long week but am feeling silly and mischievous when I pick up the phone.)

Caller: *speaking timidly* “What happens if you sign the application in red ink?”

Me: *falling victim to a wicked urge* “The application explodes.”

Caller: “Uh… uh… It blows up? Really?”

Me: “Try it and see!”

(She was dead silent for a few moments, and just as I started thinking that I went too far and started to apologize, she exploded in shrieks of laughter. Once she regained her composure, I apologized, as I really shouldn’t have done that, but she dismissed it, and thanked me as she had been stressing out over little things and needed a good laugh. She asked my name and extension so she could reach me again if needed, and she did call back a few times, always with intelligent questions and always sounding glad to hear my voice. The day before her exam she called me again, and I could tell she was feeling nervous, so I cracked some more jokes, gave her a pep talk and what advice I could give, and told her she would be fine. She passed with flying colors and called me to thank me for helping put her at ease. I told her it was all her own doing, and she said that while I really shouldn’t have cracked that joke when she first called, she was so glad I did. I don’t work there anymore, but that remains my favorite memory from that job.)

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Unfiltered Story #137098

, , | Unfiltered | January 22, 2019

(I’m handling customer service for a non-profit’s eCommerce Division.  We have two departments, one for books and one for other products, sold on an exclusive website for this nonprofit.  I’m acting manager while my boss is on vacation.

Me: Good afternoon, this is (name), how can I help you?

Customer: (Loud, rushed, and frazzled) Ineedyoutocanceltheorderforthatwii.

Me: (not understanding at all) I’m sorry?

Customer: The wii.  I need you to cancel it.

Me: All right.  What’s the order number, so I can pull up the listing?

Customer: Order number?  Hang on, let me get my email.  Hold the phone.

Me: Sure thing.

Customer: Hold the phone.  Hold the phone.  Hold the phone, please.  Are you there?  Can you hold the phone?  I’m getting my email.  Hold the phone.  Hold please.  Please hold the phone.

Me: Take your time

Customer: Order number.  Hold the phone (phone beeps as she navigates the web browser) Hold the phone.  Are you there?

Me: Yes ma’am.

Customer: Hold the phone. Okay it’s (order number that doesn’t register with our system.)

Me: Alright, I don’t see that order coming up. Can you verify your email?

Customer: What? Email?  It’s (email).

Me: I don’t see an account under that name.  Are you sure it’s a (non-profit eCommerce site) order?

Customer: What?  What’s that?  No, it’s an (popular online shopping site) order!

Me: I’m afraid you may have called the wrong business, ma’am.  This is (non-profit), we don’t sell Wii’s on (popular online shopping site).

Customer: What? (hangs up)

Me: Okay then.

Losing The Numbers Game

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I work for a small non-profit that connects people with legal resources. A local hotel accidentally gave out our phone number instead of theirs to a bunch of guests. I have a variation of this phone call about seven times this day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Non-Profit]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is [Non-Profit]. We’re a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: “Are you in need of legal resources?”

Caller: “Of course not! I’m trying to call [Hotel].”

Me: “Well, this isn’t [Hotel]; this is a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: *slams head into desk*

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H2-Woah, Part 5

, , , , , | Friendly | January 26, 2018

(I’m an intern at a non-profit and am canvassing for petition signatures at a local market. People that don’t want to sign typically have really lame excuses instead of just saying, “No, thank you.” This is by far my favorite refusal.)

Me: “Hi there. Do you have a moment to sign a petition to improve water quality?”

Man: “NO. I AM NOT WATER!”

Related:
H2-Woah, Part 4
H2-Woah, Part 3
H2-Woah, Part 2

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