A non-profit client offers social services for individuals seeking help with addiction, homelessness, HIV/AIDS, etc. There is an image bar on the website with stock photos of people related to each issue that the non-profit assists with.

The client emails me photos of real-life clients to replace the stock images.

Me: “Um… are we sure we want to put your actual clients in these spaces?”

Client: “Don’t worry; I wasn’t going to match anyone’s picture to their actual problem. See that guy? He has AIDS, not an addiction to alcohol.”

I work on and off at an American football stadium in a concession stand. Well, kinda. Technically, I’m a volunteer for a non-profit organization that I was a part of, and while I’m a volunteer and thus not paid, the organization gets a cut (for us, 10%) of any sales I make. With how inflated prices are at stadiums, and with how many people we can serve in any given game, you can see why we do it.

In American football, our biggest lines at the stand occur right before the game and during halftime. Everyone who’s ever been to a game knows this. Most customers are fairly nice and understanding about this, even when their team is losing. However, every season, I get one customer who isn’t.

Customer: “You’re too f****** slow! Get me a f****** [food item] and a beer, and be quick about it!”

Now, since the non-profit I represent gets money, you’d think I’d sigh and just do it. Nah. I’m a volunteer, I don’t get not-paid to handle this. I can deal with grumpy, but swearing at me or my fellow cashiers gets met with something like this:

Me: “Sir, your money’s no good here. Please go to a different stand.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I’ve been waiting in this f****** line for fifteen minutes—”

Me: “And now you get to wait in another one. Better hurry; you’ll miss more of the game.”

Customer: “I’m going to get you fired for this!”

Me: “NEXT!”

And the next customer, who has been patiently waiting in the same line, invariably comes up and starts ordering, and the rude guy invariably shuffles off because the police hangout is immediately across the concourse.

Still haven’t been asked to not come back, strangely.

I worked for free for months helping a non-profit.

Client: “Can you take on this additional project?”

Me: “I could, but to do anything more, I would need to be paid.”

Not only did they say no, but they told other non-profits in the area that I was “blackmailing” them.

All the helpful tips in the world won’t help the person who refuses to use ’em.

My mom used to volunteer for a local non-profit. (She was even on the board for a time.) She got to a point where she wasn’t going to be as involved in day-to-day things, so she typed up a basic guide for how to do Computer Things on the ancient PC they used — file organization, how to find what you’re looking for, how to format file names, how to do various forms, etc.

The person who replaced her refused to even read Mom’s guide — threw it away, even. And then, they complained about how hard the job was and how terrible the newfangled computer was, and basically, they were really bad at the job. They were Intentionally Helpless. (This new person was hired via a grant to employ senior citizens. I think the only qualification for the job was “be over fifty-five.”)

They worked there for several years, shockingly — several years in which the boss did both jobs and the replacement person complained about how difficult it was to use a computer. And by “use”, I mean, “Turn it on and click to open a Word document.”

My friend started a new job as a Vice President of Marketing for a non-profit organization. They had used the same printer (for business cards and the like) forever and loved him, so they didn’t change vendors when [Friend] started. At some point, they stopped getting competing quotes.

About six months in, [Friend] got more business cards for herself and noticed that they didn’t all lay even in the box. She took out the cards and saw a business card from a different printer at the bottom of the box. She called me to see what I thought was going on.

Me: “It sounds like they’re sneaking a message out, that your ‘printer’ isn’t actually doing the work.”

I did a search for her.

Me: “[Printer]’s press actually went out of business years ago, apparently. He’s working as a representative for other printers using his old business name.”

Who thinks to ask if a printer still has presses?

She called the name on the card from the bottom of the box, and she reached the guy who ran the prepress. He told her to not say anything to his bosses, but he couldn’t take it any longer. He knew she worked for a nonprofit and [Printer] was marking everything up. Though he was getting a discount as a rep, this guy thought [Printer] was marking things much higher. I think it was around 30%.

Anyway, [Friend] now had this information and wasn’t sure how to approach it since [Printer] was loved around the office. He sent flowers on birthdays, was invited to the holiday parties, etc. So, without saying anything, she got competitive quotes for another project. [Printer] was about 20% higher. She got quotes on some smaller run postcards, posters, and brochures that they were doing. All of [Printer]’s quotes were about 20% higher.

At an executive meeting, [Friend] asked a question.

Friend: “If I can save on purchases, do I need approval to change vendors?”

CEO: “Go for it.”

S*** hit the fan big time when [CEO] found out it was [Printer]. It got surprisingly ugly. [Friend] managed to get everyone back together to talk about it, and the only one upset was [CEO]. He let it go, but he was seething.

CEO: “This decision is disrespectful to a long-term vendor like [Printer]. I would never have approved it If I’d thought for a second that he was who you were talking about.”

[Friend] has no proof, but she thinks [CEO] was getting a kickback from [Printer]. Looking back, she realizes [CEO] was the one who told her to use the guy, no questions asked. He was the one who’d invited him to company events.

In the end, a prepress manager saved them 20% a year just on printing. [Friend] started sending everything out for competitive quotes and saved at every turn.

She only lasted a few years there. She turned around the department and saved them a ton of money, but [CEO] never forgave her. One day, she showed up to work and met a new employee in marketing that she knew nothing about. [CEO] introduces her as [Friend]’s eventual replacement. It was so awkward, and [Friend] was pissed.

[Friend] sent [CEO] an email asking what was going on and whether she’d done something wrong. He replied — I kid you not — that he felt she’d gotten too old for the job.

She took the email to her lawyer. [CEO] tried to play it off as if he had been joking, but it didn’t work. Her lawyer negotiated a two-year severance package.

The joke’s on them; she had already taken a job with another company. If he had waited until that Friday, she would have given her notice.